Daunted
by itsalreadybeendone
Summary: A fan fiction based on Divergent, as if the war had never happened. It follows the life of Tris Prior and Tobias Eaton. Full of lemons. I will be making this a long story, following a plot different from that of the books. Please enjoy and review. Update Tuesday Thursday Saturday and Sunday. All comments are welcome. Rated MA
1. Chapter 1

**hi everyone! This is the first chapter of my first ever story. This is an erotic fan fiction continuing Divergent as if the war had never happened, based on Four and Tris. I do not own Divergent or any rights along with it. If you don't want to waste your time reading a long story without knowing if you will like it, please read the page before this. Please leave reviews so I know people care, any suggestions are welcome!**

**Xx-D**

Mirrors always confused me. What are me seeing? Does our knowledge about every little defining quality impair our vision, clouding us into seeing only aspects of ourselves we know well enough to become apparent? Never having the leisure of looking in mirrors made you think, questioning something so novel. So now, when every shop holds a full length reflexion of a scrawny little girl with blond hair and features that look as if they needed to be grown into, I wonder how everyone takes them for granted.

"Ouch!" I squeal, pulling me out of my thoughts. Christina looks up from the black fabric draped around me, her hair blending into the darkness of it all, making her look like something out of a magazine. "Well I wouldn't have to poke you if you would just stop fidgeting." She sing songs to herself, but loud enough for me to hear it. Finally finished pinning everything in place, she stands, her hand grabbing mine, cold from the lack of movement, squealing in my ear, and pulls me around to face the mirrors. I had spent the past hour glaring at the door, the only spot in this room not covered with floor to ceiling mirrors, as Christina flung dress after dress into the already cramped space. Now I see why she's squealing.

In the mirror, stands a girl. She looks like me, same hair dull blond tied back, same features, too big for her small face and tiny frame, and same tattoo of the three birds on her collar bone. But unlike me, the girl in the mirror looks... Well she looks sort of beautiful. She wears a long black dress, curving over each breast and synching in just below, some how making her chest seem... Existent. The dark fabric then gently flowed to the ground, ending right on the ground with no more than a ripple in the stream. Just visible when twirled under the long fabric are plain black heels, hidden by the long material. "Tris. Say something... Pease tell me you like it, you look hot!" Christian bursts while her nails digging into me draw me out of my trance and I shy away from the mirror, partly out of habit, partly out of embarrassment.

"I... I love it. But isn't it a bit much for a party?" I ask, trying to get some excuse to put my jeans back on. Christian simply rolls her eyes and spins me around, making eye contact with me in the mirror. "This isn't just a party Tris, this is THE CELEBRATION OF BRAVERY. The dauntless born girls have had their dresses for weeks, and trust me, even Lynn's is fancier than yours. Just imagine..." she holds me by the shoulders and pulls me to her. Our eyes meet in the mirror and she gets a glazed over look "what Tobias will think, seeing your body in that, he'll rip it off the second he gets and just ravish you."

Somewhere inside me, a dial is turned, and I go from dress shopping to a place so dark I can feel pain. My knees feel weak, and I turn a deep shade of crimson, looking odd in such a gorgeous dress. "Uh, well.. We haven't.. I just.. We don't..." Christina spins me around so fast that if she wasn't gripping my arms so tight I surely would have found myself on my butt, especially in these heels. "You guys haven't had sex yet?!" She practically screams before I can get my hand clamped over her mouth. "Shut up shut up shut up!" I whisper in the most menacing voice I can manage while she bites into my fingers. Finally having to give up I pull my hand away and examine it, teeth marks litter my fingers. "Wait so you guys haven't?" She says in a hushed tone, still too loud for my liking.

Wrenching my eyes away from my hand and cradling it in mock pain, I see her eyes bugging out from her head, hand on her hip, cocked in her usual manner. It's this moment where it all hits me, for the first time, in a different direction. My fear of doing IT is way more than a burden on me, on my relationship, it's not normal. It's just another check mark on the list of "why she dosnt deserve him". Somehow the normality of Christina's stance and tone hits me harder than any punch ever thrown, and I crumple to the ground. Tears are past the point of return. Christina's reaction would have been comical in any other situation, standing frozen she looks as if she just walked in on Eric with his tongue down Jeanine Matthews throat. Disgust, confusion and utter shock contort her face, her arms flinging limp to her sides. She has no idea what's happening, one minute she was talking teen talk, all lipstick and boys, and the next her best friend collapses to sorrow.

This realization makes a cackle bubble up in between my countless sobs. She's probably thinking I've completely lost my mind or something. talking, crying and laughing. The three crazys. Coming to her sense, she kneels down, sweeping the pool of fabric beneath me to the side, and throws her arms around me. "Sweetie, what's the fucking problem?" She whispers, giving me a gentle shake. I look up from between my knees, not having a clue what to say, which of course means everything spills out. "I'm scared of sex." Well that pretty much summed the whole fucking thing up, way to go Tris. Christina laughs, and shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "I know it's scary honey, but we all get over it. Trust me, after the first few minutes, you won't be able to get enough of it!" She dosnt get it. "Um no."

I inhale, preparing myself for her reaction "like it was in my fear landscape" her gentle smile falls flat. "Oh" she seems at a loss for words, a first for Chrisitna. All I say is "yeah" and shrug my shoulders. She seems to be focused, staring at the spot on the ground right next to my feet, like she trying to solve an equation. Suddenly, she solves whatever she was thinking of and looks up at me, serious and says "well little miss virgin. Get your ass out of that dress, we're gunna get out of here, grab some food and have us a nice little chat."

**Alright! That's the first chapter. Pretty bland but I promise there is a plot. I'm looking for an editor if anyone has time and would like to help that would be great. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! So I cannot believe it, my story hasn't been up for more than a few hours and I've already received nearly 300 views! I'm still looking for an editor, if you're interested please let me know in a review. Speaking of reviews. Please please please leave me some! They let me know what you guys want and inspire me to write more! Please enjoy and let me know what you think.**  
(Tris)  
It took two giant servings of cake, but eventually the whole story was told, and Christina was looking at me in a way I hated. Pity dusted her eyes, like reflecting stars on a window. With windows, if you convinced yourself to focus on something deeper in the window, you would think the stars had vanished, but the second you let your guard down, BAM, a nice big reflexion of any constellation you could dream. And looking into her eyes, there was no way I was getting the pity stars out of my view. She holds my arm like I might just crumble away, as we walk around in the pit. At the edge of the Chasm we simply look over and watch the water, each swell seams so solid, until it hits a rock, when it burst open and shatters, like glass. Like past the tattoo parlour we had given up on the conversations about her and Will, Marlene and Uriah, trying to pass them off as small talk, and simply enjoyed the distant crash of the water on the rocks. My rocks.

After a few minutes, Christina excused herself, saying she had to get ready for tonight's party. Shit. I forgot, this was my first day officially being dauntless, and this week was a constant trickle of celebrations, custom in dauntless to welcome the new members. I just stand there overlooking the railing. Not a month ago, Christina had hung from her finger tips here, Al had thrown himself over it, and, my only pleasant memory, Tobias had told me I looked good. Mind you he was drunk, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

I day dream for as long as I can when finally I force myself to head back to the initiate sleeping quarters to get ready. Only when I turn on my heels do I notice him. There not a foot away from me, stands the single most beautiful creature on this earth, his blue eyes scanning my expression, his lips curved into a barely noticeable grin, like he's thinking of a fond memory. His hand reaches up to tousle his short brown hair, then falls into the other to cross over his chest, his muscles barely visible under a dark grey t shirt similar to mine. His face turns from happy-pensive to amused and he shifts his weight between his feet. "Now normally I would tell someone in my way to move it, but there is something so damn hot about watching you." He says. I look around in panic, hoping no one heard him.

But before I can relax and remind him to keep his voice down, he closes the distance between us. "Hey Tris." The thin fabric of my tshirt provides no barrier, and I feel his strong warm hands go to my waist. "Tobias what the hell, someone could see us and th..." Was all I got out before he pressed his lips to mine. My train of thought completely derailed, I feel my self relax into him. He opens his mouth prying mine with his, and I stand on my tip toes, reaching one arm around his neck and the other hand reaching up and lacing itself into his hair. Our tongues swirl and he holds me there for a few moments before stopping. We just stand there letting our breathing slow back to normal, staring at each other, his hands still on my waist, one had somehow crept under my shirt and now rested on the naked small of my back. My arms still tied me to him. Finally he smiles lifting his hand and pulling back my hair so he can whisper right into my ear. "I'm not your teacher anymore, remember?" The thought of this makes me jump back and drink the sight of him in, finally able to let my gaze wonder freely and liger as it may.

"so Tris. I may not be your teacher anymore, but I still have this weird feeling I'm slightly responsible for you or something. And that weird feeling is nagging that we have a party to go to in 30 minutes." He says while sloping an arm around my shoulders stearing me in the direction of the living quarters. "Do we have to go? We can't just stay here and resume that oh so fun activity we can now engage in in public?" I reply leaning into him as he steers me down the corridors. "Oh god I wish"he growls to himself more than me "but unfortunately, tonight is the first party of the many this week I, as an instructor, have to go to. And I don't think that's something I want to do by myself." I groan, and slow my steps, dreading wherever we're going that involves people. "Well this just won't do" he says in mock exasperation. Before I can try to process what he's saying, he's flung me over his shoulder and starts into a sprint. I shriek and kick all while laughing then eventually give up and just giggle. Where I hang I can see the tips of his tattoo poking out from beneath his shirt, as well as each muscle in his back move under his tshirt. I relax a little more and take a deep breath inhaling his familiar fragrance.

Before I know it, his steps slow and he's flung me so I lie one in his arms, my legs dangling over one of his muscular bends in his arms, my arms wrapped around his neck, pressing my face into his neck. I decide to get the best out of this and torture him with little kisses right below his chin and down his neck. Finally stopped in front of a door he lets me down, still holding my hand tightly in his. I don't understand how he just sprinted these halls with my weight to carry, and I'm the one out of breath.

Three sharp knocks and the door squeaks on its hinges as it's opened by the very last person I want to see. Blocking the door is a slightly off balance Peter, his eyes scanning my body more carefully than I feel comfortable with, which I think Tobias senses as he coughs loudly, draping his arm over my shoulder. Peter wrenches his eyes from me and looks at Tobias, his face contorting into a smug grin. "Oh please do come in He stands to the side, mumbling as we pass through. I take in the surroundings and suddenly feel out of place. This room is obviously meant for the younger adults, no one in here looks like they could be twenty yet, or under 16. The rock walls are lit by a soft glow, as punk rock blasts from some speakers. Sweaty bodies rubbed together everywhere, couples making out, singles dancing around. So this is a dauntless party.

As tobias hugs me tighter to his side, Peter drunkenly slurs loud enough for us to hear "look like someone banged their way to the top". I feel myself blush a deep red, as tobias nonchalantly turns around , bringing me with him to face a crooked Peter, leaning against a lamp for balance. "Hey Peter" tobias says, sounding as casual as if he were talking in training. "Peters eyes were trained on me, and they never left as he answered "yeah Four?" As his snake like eye continued to attempt to undress me. Tobias cleared his throat and lifted his arm from me, making my shoulders feel cold and naked. "Go fuck yourself" and at that peter looks up just to see a fist connect with his jaw.

Turning on his heels without a glance back at Peter, Tobias grabs my hand. "How about a drink" he says as he kisses the top of my head while leading me over to a table filled with all sorts of bottles and cans. Picking up a beer for himself, he goes to grab one for me before recoiling and looking over. "Uh... Tris do you drink?" He rubs the back of his head, looking like he just offended me. I roll my eyes and grab a beer nuzzled in a bucket of ice. "I'm a transfer, not a two year old." He smiles and chuckles. God I love his laughs, they seem to shake his whole body and the worry disappears from his face for just a moment.

Just as I start to worry about what we do now, never having been to a party a familiar voice turns me around. "Trix... Trisssss come over here" knowing Christina was drunkenly calling me made me worry, seeing as my five foot nothing build in black converse saw nothing but sweaty grinding bodies, I peere up at Tobias, giving him my best lost puppy dog eyes. He just rolls his eyes and puts a hand on my waist. He steers me into her right direction, being able to see over the heads of everyone else, one hand wrapped around my waist hugging me close, shielding me from the crowd of bodies, the other elbowing our way through them.

Finally I see where Cristina sits on a dark red leather L shaped couch pushe into the corner of the huge room, her legs draped over Will who looks a little loopy, gazing at her with eyes glazed over by love and lust. "Trisss! Get over here!" She screams, she attempts to get up off, failing miserably and falling back onto Will, knocking him back into the couch. We all laugh together, Marlene standing up from Uriahs lap to help her to her feet. The rest of the group of just graduated initiates on the couch looked around uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with Tobias and I.  
That's when I realized I had my hand in his back pocket, his wrapped around my waist. They saw me as their friend, and him as their teacher. He seemed to sense the same thing, shifting his weight from foot to foot and looking anywhere but in their eyes. Christina had stumbled over and threw her self around me in a huge bear hug. I stumbled under her weight, and probably would have fallen if tobias didn't catch us, and walked us over to the couch. Once Christina was immersed in conversation with a giggle Marlene, Tobias quickly brushed his lips to mine and whispered he was going to go talk with Zeke. I watch him walk away, but was pulled back as Lynn leans over and pukes in a potted plant.

(Tobias's POV) I kiss Tris quickly and walk away. God I don't know why but now that me and Tris are open about our relationship, her friends changed from kids I needed to teach to people I needed to like me, so I figured the best way is to leave them alone. I stand against a wall listening to the laughs and shouts of my fellow dauntless, all dancing far to provocatively in my mind. I scan the room and see girls with hair all sorts of colours, makeup dark and too heavy, and outfits barely covering the essentials. I can't believe people find that attractive, not that I own tris or anything, but I'm scared the next guy that checks Tris out will end up far worse than Peter. I can't take it anymore, I need to look at her so trying to be as casual as I can I turn my head minimally towards her. When I see her my breath hitches.  
She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, not even comparably attractive to the other girls. She giggles nervously and pulls a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail, wiping her hands on her jeans and trying to fake a smile. I know she hates this, I can tell, but I don't think I can restrain myself right now, so I need to be in public, and this party was the perfect excuse. She sips at her beer for the first time and for a reaction of a second she struggles to swallow it. Back in abnegation no one drinks, and they were under a pretty watchful eye in initiation, so I know for a fact she's never drank before, but she puts on a brave face and sucks it up. God I love her.

"so you're banging the stiff?" I'm pulled away from my thoughts to face Eric, who had followed my line of sight straight to her. "Shut up" I say and try to shove my way past him, but he blocks me with his arm. He leans in close to talk and I smell the distinct stink of alcohol on him. "Get out of my way Eric. Don't start with me right now." I try to act normal, but I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from cracking Eric's jaw in half. Instead of backing off he pulls me towards him, stepping back into the crowd and drawing some curious glances. "Tell me Four. Were you guys banging this whole time and it was in her fear landscape because you suck?" I try to walk away but he throws a punch. Fortunately I was on guard for this, it is Eric after all. I jump back and his momentum send him flying into the crowd. People have stopped to watch now. He regains his balance and turns, looking menacing and pissed. "Oh no fucking way. You don't want me to talk about your little fuck buddy? You think she wasn't just fucking you to get to first place? You're an idiot Four." He throws another punch, this one I catch and twist his arm. He falls to the ground, but jumps up. He punches and kicks, I simply block but don't fight back.

"Oh come on Four. Aren't you going to even try to fight me? I promise to go easy" he slurs a bit near the end. Blocking a punch and catching his foot, I pull his leg up so he's thrown on his back. "Yeah Eric? You really want me to kick your ass again?" Everyone had crowded around now, watching with anticipation. " you got lucky four I was off guard." Over my shoulder I hear Zeke laugh, knowing he had witnessed our fights in initiation, knowing Eric never even came close to me. Eric realizes he's lost, not being able to phase me, he looks kinda scared, but mostly pissed as hell. "Hey four, is she as tight as she looks? I've never fucked a twelve year old before." I snap, pulling him to his feet by the collar of his shirt, and before he knows what's going on, hit him square in the jaw. I watch as he slams into the ground, the light temporarily out in his eyes.

Breathing heavily, I wait as the crowd that gathered starts to think then turn, to see tris standing right behind me. I start to apologize but before I can get more than "I'm sor" she pulls me down and kisses me, passionate and all I could ever need. Pulling away and gasping for air, she looks me in the eyes. She looks like she's about to jump off a building, contemplative and scared, but dauntless non the less. "I love you" she says. Her chest falls like she was just holding in a huge breath. This is the first time she's ever said it to me. My heart lifts, and I pick her up by the hips. "I love you too tris."

**Little bit more action than last time? I've already written the next few chapters, but I would like to read them over a few more times. Please let me know if you would like to edit them. I've decided to write this thing out as long as I can, so follow for frequent updates.****  
XO -D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys! Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I'd like to give a huge thanks to thebigdog2895 for editing this chapter, it was a huge help. I don't want to become one of those authors who says they need a certain number of reviews for them to upload the next chapter, I promise that I will do my best to upload 3-4 times a week if not more, but the more reviews I get, the more encouragement, the faster I write. Please let me know what you think, and any things you want to see (relationship development, character changes ect.) I've decided to actually follow a plot, not solely write about sex, but I promise there will be plenty of smut to come. Rated MA, I do not own anything associated with the divergent trilogy.**

(Tris's POV)

Tobias pulls me on top of him, to sit on his lap as he wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck lightly. We're sitting on the couch we had met everyone on, as the group has reformed and is now talking animatedly about dauntless excursion ideas. I notice Christina's absence. She left to go to the bathroom about fifteen minutes ago, but just as I twist around to look for her, she appears, a bottle of vodka in hand. Holding the bottle up above her head she wiggles her hips suggestively. "Body shots b***!," she exclaims while pulling Will to the floor. I peer up and study Tobias's face. He seems to be enjoying my friends, laughing at the right times, but he looks about as confused as I feel. Thank god I'm not the only one who's lost. Lifting up Will's shirt he laughs as Christina pours a huge amount of vodka into his belly button. Suggestively, she licks from the top of his chest down into his navel, swirling her tongue seductivley. Eventually, the liquid is gone, and she's kissing him. "Woohoo!" Zeke had now joined us with Shauna. He stands and grabs the bottle, pulling Shauna with him and throwing her onto the couch, repeating the same process. Soon enough, everyone around us was either licking each other or kissing passionately.

Lynn seems to be sitting by herself, and when a tipsy dauntless guy I recognize from Tobias's friend group approaches her, she looks around uncomfortably. Her eyes lock with mine and she smiles, figuring out her escape. "Hey Tris, let's get Tobias's shirt up and see you little Stiffs loosen up a bit eh?" All the girls seem to agree at the mention of Tobias's naked torso. We try to laugh it off but people are now looking at us expectantly. Tobias speaks up ",Keep it in your pants Lynn. Tris and I are just fine watching you guys throw yourselves at each other and laughing." Everyone laughs at this, but Christina, who now has no sense left in her, stands and holds my shoulder. She then falls into Tobias and I. "Shut up Lynn. She'll have sex when she's ready." At this, everyone who was still busy with their partner turned and stared. Uriah is the first to speak up, his head under Marlene's shirt. "You guys haven't fucked yet?" Tobias seems to tense up, not knowing what to say without making me feel uncomfortable.

I hate that I can't do something that comes so easily to everyone else, and having everyone hauling at us made me lose my sense. I throw my hands up in mock surrender. "Fuck it." I hop off Tobias, and he seems to think we're leaving, but as he starts to stand, I push him back into the couch. I straddle him and he looks shocked. Pleased, but shocked, like everyone else. I am, after all, Tris. I finally break eye contact with Tobias and shatter the group's silence. "Well? Are you going to pass me a bottle or am I going to have to get up?" At this, every one cheers and goes back to their previous activities, ignoring Christina's little outburst. I'm handed a bottle of something clear.  
Tobias grabs my shoulder and looks worriedly in to my eyes. "Tris, lets go back to my place and watch a movie. I've made an appearance. Besides, they're all too busy to give two fucks about what we're up to." He's right. Everyone seems to either be walking back to a more private location or getting to the point where they should. Tobias props himself on his elbows so we practically sit chest to chest, but I'm still very conscious of the placement of my lower body. I roll my eyes at him, knowing he's just doing this for my sake. Cocking my hip and contorting my face to what I think Christina would call sassy, I try my best to imitate her. "Oh come on baby" this gets a laugh out of him. It's always been a little bit of a joke to call each other pet names, when both of us are clearly not the pet name type. I start to push him back down, trying my best not to let him see my hands shake, but he resists. "Tris lets-" I put a finger over his mouth and lean in close. Resting my hands on his shoulders I look him dead in the eye. Time to get serious.

"Tobias. I've been thinking for the past few days. I... I think I want to face my fear." I take a second to gage his reaction, but I can tell he's going to remain very still until I have said everything I can. Pressing my lips to his, I murmur so only he can hear ",I'm ready Tobias." He grabs my hips and twists me so I lie on my side, pressed into the couch. His hands are warm against my back, pulling me tighter to him. I wrap a leg around his hip, feeling my heart rate rise. I know he must feel my insane pulse. He slows down and places one hand on my side, running it down and over my waist, feeling my curves. The his warm hand seeks lower and, once it takes hold of my knee, it stops, as it has gotten to its destination. He then lifts my leg off of him. "Not here Tris. Not right now." I pout but I know he's right, so when he cracks a smile I have to return it whole heartedly.

I push him into a sitting position and grab the bottle of vodka beside the couch. "Well then, babe, I'm getting you wasted." He laughs and goes to stand, shrugging me off, but I pull him back down. While he glances at me with curiosity, I realize that I have a 10 second chance to get him to stay so I can make him actually have some fun. That is all the time I need. Running my left hand from my hip up to my shirt and knotting a couple fingers at its hem, I pull it up just pass my navel as suggestively as possible. Just as he's about to catch on, I pour the shot into my belly button and stage the most exaggerated sigh I can muster. "Well, looks like someone's going to have to drink it!" I smile to myself as he rolls his eyes because I know I've won.

We start off by alternating, he does a shot, we make out, I do a shot, we make out. Repeat. Eventually, when I begin to roll off the couch while we shift positions, Tobias starts doing more shots, giving me a rest. Each time he would do a shot it seemed he would pull my shirt up just a fraction of an inch higher, and by the time he got up the fabric to the bottom of my bra strap, my stomach was covered in hickeys, bite marks and ghosts of his kisses. Suddenly, he pulls the fabric up so my bra band is just visible. Leaning forward, he kisses down my neck, taking time to make me writhe when he gets to my ravens.

But when he travels down to kiss the exposed skin of my stomach, I freeze. I can feel his warm breath near my boobs, which is something that is far too intimate right now, but I told him I was ready and I'm not going to let him down. However, I can't hide it. It feels as if a block of ice has been wrapped around me. My breaths come in shallow quick huffs. He stops immediately, kisses my forehead, and pulls me up to sit in his lap. I curse myself inwardly and shrug into him. He just holds me as I try to steady my breathing but I think he notices the little sobs I emanate. Once I'm pretty sure I can trust my voice not to crack, I stare down at my palms and sigh one last breath. "I'm sorry Tobias," I mumble. Instead of the sigh of disappointment down my neck I was bracing myself for, his next words are mixed in with a laugh that rocks me back and forth. "Tris, I don't need to have sex, not right now, not next week, not ever if it means you're happy." His low voice sends shivers down my spine, but before I can retort, Christina interrupts. "Hey Trix. I'm gunna walk back now, wanna come?" Tobias and I look up from our private bubble we had imagined, only to double over with laughter. It's not what Christina had said, but rather, the fact that she said it lying down, obviously thinking she was up and ready to go.

I hop off of Tobias and hoist Christina over my shoulder. She may be bigger than me, but I'm surprisingly strong from the little time I had in initiation. I turn to peak at Tobias, who is helping Will up and off a couch, but gives up and flings him over his shoulder like I did with Christina. "Night Four!" I call while I walk away. I shut the door behind me, but not quick enough not to hear the slightly slurred "night babe" he shouts back. 

**Let me know what you thought, follow, favourite and review!**

**-D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys! thank you so much for the reviews! If I get new reviews tonight, I will update before midnight! So keep them coming! Thank you thebigdog2895 for editing this chapter, you're a life saver! Let me know what you guys think/want, so far I haven't had any requests for the story, but I'm open to suggestions. Thanks for reading! (I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy. This story is rated MA)**

The dormitory door quietly falls closed behind me and I turn to walk back to the chasm. It had only taken me fifteen minutes or so to get Christina to her bed in the initiates room, as we had yet to be assigned our own apartments, but once I had, I decided I needed to clear my head. I walk down the hallway, lost in thought, the only sound being my converse hitting the pavement, with an occasional squeak, or at least, I think that is the only sound. I strain my ears while consciously varying my steps. No. With each step I take, there is a click, like a ruler being slammed against a desk, that rings through the hallways. Surely there must be someone else walking near me. Curious, but not wanting to look timid, I peer over my shoulder, stand to the side, and pretend to tie my shoe. Click. Click. Click. The sound gets closer. Suddenly, it stops. The final click doesn't echo, but it does leave a ringing in my ears. Giving up on my act, I stand and turn just to come face to face with a scantily clad Lauren.

I look down and realize the clicking was her insanely high heels slapping against the stone as she walked. I can tell she has had a few drinks, her breath gives her away for one thing, as well as her 'dress', which clung tightly to her, but somehow hung crookedly on her. However, she didn't bother to fix it. I move to the side to let her pass but she reaches an elegantly long hand out and rests it on my shoulder, squeezing it too tight to be casual. Her fingers are long and bony. I can feel each joint through my shirt, the lifeless cold of her entirety registers within me."Tris! Just the little dauntless I was looking for," she exclaims in a weak attempt at surprise. So she followed me. But why? It looks like I'm about to find out, because Lauren begins rambling"So Tris. I just wanted to give you a heads up, you know from girl to girl. We gotta stick up for each other right?" She looks at me to gage my reaction, but when I remain placid and just cross my arms, she takes my silence and goes on. "I heard you and Four haven't... You know, had sex yet. And looking at you I'm assuming your a virgin." She waves her hand up and down gesturing to me, giving me a mock sympathetic look once over. "It's just, I don't want you to get hurt Tris. Tobias is AMAZING in bed. Like, honestly, the best I've ever had. And I'm just scared that with him and I having just ended things-" I cut her off, "What do you mean ending things?" She gives me a surprised look and covers her mouth like she can't believe what I just said. "Oh my god. Trissy. Don't tell me Four didn't tell you?" I try to remain expressionless and let her continue, but I can feel a weight trying to pull my lips into a frown. "Oh god! You poor thing! Well, yeah. Four and I had been sleeping together for about a month before you got here, nothing serious you know. Just sex. But he started getting too serious. Saying he loved me, telling me he would never find another girl like me... Yadayada, you know how boys get. So I told him that it's over. I told him he should find someone else. And I guess he just jumped at the first thing he could get!" She gives me a little hug and pats me on the back, waiting for me to react.

I can't let her see me react. I try to excuse myself but before I say anything. She flips her hair and walks away, swinging her hips more than natural. Click. Click. Click. I start to run. I don't know where but all I know is that my feet are moving, running and narrowly dodging walls. Finally, when my lungs burn too much for me to continue, I collapse onto my knees, my hands covering my face. I let the sobs start to shake me. Eventually, my tears fall dry. My body is wrecked only by silent sobs, but I'm ready to go back to the dormitory and sleep. However, before I can move my hands to wipe my tears, I feel a set large, muscular and cold set of fingers take a hold of me. One hand is around my neck and the other stifles my scream.

**What did ya think? Sorry it was so short, but the next chapter is already written, so get those reviews in and I'll post an update ASAP. Love you all**

**-D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Why hello there! how did you like the cliff hanger? *cackles evilly* I know, I know, I hate cliff hangers too, but it didn't quite match up in my head to put these two chapters together, so instead I decided to make you guys writhe in anticipation. So hopefully this cools you guys down. Really quickly, this chapter would not be up here if it weren't for all the awesome reviews! I promise an update tomorrow if you guys tell me what you think. Still no requests? Huge thanks to .books for editing this chapter, you really helped it come together. Enjoy!**

**-D**

The cold of the stone behind me reaches my bones, chilling me. The same hand still covers my mouth, the other now presses hard into my stomach, pinning me to the wall. I try not to wince at the feeling of the rocks behind me puncturing my skin. I know any and all signs of fear or pain will just bring him joy. "What's wrong Stiff? Big bad Four not here to help you?" Eric's breath is hot in my face as he speaks, the smell of alcohol still present on him. I bite down on his hand until I taste blood, and he finally wrenches it away from me. He draws back and examines it before he whips back and slaps me across the face, his blood smearing itself and blending in with the red mark left on my cheek.

"You little bitch!" He shouts, pressing harder into my stomach making me cry out in pain. Tears threaten to fall, but I blink them back. He presses harder until I'm sure he can feel the coldness of the wall through me, then drops me to the ground. I lay on my hands and knees gasping and gagging, but when I go to stand and run, his hand finds my pony tail, whipping me up on my feet. I bite my lip as to not cry out. "Huh little stiff?" He pulls my hair back so my neck is exposed. "What? What do you have to say? Let's see if I can try and see why Four hangs around you." He bites my collar bone in what I assume he think is a sexual manner, but his second of distraction gives me an opening. I thrust up with all my might with my knee, just as Tobias taught me. Eric staggers backwards, more than usual I note. He still must be drunk.

I look around, knowing I won't be able to run from him even when he is drunk. I try to think of a weapon within reach, but before I can grab anything, Eric's charging me. I side step him and manage to lift my leg high enough to nail him in the back, forcing him down on his stomach. His head smacks the stone loudly, causing a trail of blood trickling it's way down from his eyebrow to his jaw. "That fucking does is Stiff" he says, standing wiping and wiping the blood from his eye. "When I've had my fun with you I'll be sure to tell Four about it when I beat the shit out of him." This makes me more mad than anything, so I run and slam my fist into his face, breaking his nose, but he grabs me before I can recoil. "Jesus Christ! What the fuck?! You little bitch, what does it matter to you? I thought you would love this, just fucking your way up the totem pole." He holds me against a wall, I can't breath but his hand wander up my shirt, un clipping my bra. I freeze. I'm paralyzed with fear, as he continues.

My legs give out but he's still holding me up "oh you like that stiff?" I try to shout but no sound comes. "Just think about it, after I beat the shit out of Four we can bone all we like. With the mention of Tobias being hurt, a switch flips inside of me. I take him by surprise, hooking a leg around his and pull. He lands on his back but before he can react, I jump on his shins, feeling the bone break beneath me. While he's incapacitated by the pain I kick his right arm, making sure to shatter something there too. He lies there powerless, mouth shut. I put my foot on his throat, and lean down so he can hear me, seeing as I'm barely able to muster more than a whisper right now. "Listen to me Eric. Don't you ever come near Four and I again, or we will kill you. Understand?" He lets out a grunt, which I take as a yes. I turn to walk away, but not before getting one last kick in to his head.

Hard.

**Sorry for the short chapter, but if you put it together with today's first chapter, we can pretend I wrote a lot ;) If I'm not mistaken, the next chapter is a bit more lengthy and gets a bit more into some Foutris. Review! If I get lots of feed back and cant sleep, who knows, maybe 3 updates in one day?! Thanks for reading!**

**-D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well hello there! First, let me start of by thanking you guys for all the awesome reviews. Knowing you guys are out there and actually reading this just makes my day, so thank you. That leads me to my next "big" announcement. With realising just how many people are viewing my story so far (2000, crazy right?!), I've decided to go all out and make this thing into a real story, following a plot line I originally dreamt up the first time I read the series. Don't worry, this will still be an erotic fanfiction (once the smut starts, it's going to become quite present in my writing). I'm done the next chapter, so let's say if I can get 20 new reviews within the next 8 hours I'll update then. If not, I'll post it later tomorrow or maybe Saturday, as planned. Thanks for the support guys, let me know you're out there by leaving a review!**

**-D**

(Tobias's POV)

It takes me forever to make Will shut up, so I give up and bring him to Zeke's place to crash, it being way closer than the dorms. Once I'm in the pit, tonight's events hit me fully. Tris loves me. Tris wants to have sex with me. Holy shit. Running towards my place, I start to become too tired to grin. Tris is probably fast asleep in there by now. I let my feet carry me while my mind drifts off. Suddenly, I'm flat on my face. I stare at my feet to see what I tripped over. I find Eric's rather broken and unconscious figure lying at my feet. The image seems to sober me up. I study him, the slow, shallow rise and fall of his chest relieves me, but this is definitely more damage than I did to him earlier. Blood covers his arms, stains his pants, and paints his face. His head seems to be damaged by a hammer bashing into his skull. Because he is covered in so many bruises, I can hardly see his pale skin. Whoever did this knew how to fight. Good for them, Eric needed to get the shit kicked out of him. I just hope the poor bastard was smart enough to run.

Curiosity prickles at the back of my neck, and I scan my surroundings. Up above me, where the wall meets the ceiling, a few yards from where I stand, I see a little green light flash. That's all I need.

I hoist Eric over my shoulder and start to run, not caring whether or not he hits his head on a wall we pass by. After I leave him at the door of the infirmary, I start to travel all the way up to the control room. Taking my place in my usual spot, I tap the keyboard to wake the machine up. I type furiously, accessing the footage of the camera downstairs that is angled toward the little green light. I fast forward, not seeing anything at first. Suddenly, a blurred figure runs by, and collapses to the ground. I replay it, and my breath hitches. The second I see Eric enter the screen I slam on the keyboard, ejecting a chip with the footage on it and sprint down to my place.

"TRIS!," I shout as I slam open my door. To my surprise, nothing has been touched since I left this morning. Crap. Where could she have gone? Maybe back to the initiate dormitories. After slamming the chip onto my dresser, I sprint out of my place.

(Tris's POV)

I'm running. I don't know from what, but I know I'm running, and I need to get to him as fast as I can. I stop, too quickly, causing me to trip and fall, but before I can stand, Tobias's arms are around me "Hey Tris." he pulls me up and starts to kiss me, but I stop him. I grab his arm and pull him with me. He runs with me, but I don't hear his footsteps. The only sound is his breathing beside me, "what the hell Tris?" I turn to respond but he isn't there anymore. I'm in the chasm, holding onto a rock , the water slamming me against it like a bottle bobbing in an ocean storm. I can't hold on anymore, and it's all over.

But the bobbing doesn't stop. The sounds of rushing water is replaced by steady steps. I inhale, expecting a lungful of water, but instead, I smell warmth and love. Tobias. I open my eyes and realize I'm bobbing because I'm draped over his shoulder, his back stiff, each muscle on edge. I clear my throat and shake my head, trying to rid myself of the dream and bring some context back into the situation. "Uhh... Tobias?" He doesn't stop walking or put me down. "Nice to see you're talking to me," he retorts, his voice piercing my spine and injecting frost into my body. I hear him tussle in his pockets for his keys, then unlock a door. Looking up, I recognize the wall across from his apartment. "Tobias what the hell is going on?" " Apparently I don't know. What's wrong with you Tris?" he exclaims. He's so tense, I'm scared he's going to kill someone but he gently pulls me off, setting me down on the couch in front of his tv. "What's wrong with me? With me? Really?" I shout at his back. "You just kidnapped me in the middle of the god damn night," I finish, looking around for his clock. 4:27 am. Fabulous.

He freezes on his way to the tv, as if to say something, but thinks better of it and continues. "I don't know Tris," he says as he grabs something off his dresser, then slams it into a slot in the tv. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong with me. Because as far as I'm aware, most people tell someone they love when someone assaults them." He spits, looking me dead in the eye while he presses the remote. As if on cue, an image of me runs onto the screen, and tonight's events start to play while he glares at me. Wow, I was pinned to that wall for a long time. Eric's mouth is moving on the screen, but no sound comes out, other than the constant buzz from the tv. "Tobias, I figured it didn't matter, you would just get mad or go ba-" he grabs my shoulders, gently, but I can tell he's way beyond mad. "You don't get it Tris." He exhales. "I can't imagine what would have happened if he had gone after you once you got away," he says, pain creeping into his voice.

"Um Tobias... I don't think he cou-" but before I can finish he's talking again. "Stop. Why the hell didn't you come and get me? He easily could have followed you. I can't have you taking risks just for pride, Tris. I can't live without you. Every single thing that hurts you is ten times worse for me. I need you. I love you." he seems to have relaxed while he got over that, now realizing that I'm ok. He pulls me into him, breathing deeply and resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Tobias. I didn't run. I fought him off," I say, not trying to ruin the moment, but rather to just clear it up. He pulls back immediately. "You... You did that? I found him and he was... I thought.." He fades off, looking at me with amazement. I nod yes. "I thought you would react too quickly and kill him or something. I just crawled back to the dormitories and went to sleep. Anyways, I figured you'd be asleep, and I didn't want to wake you." He just stares at me, then takes my head into his hands, his breath warm and inviting against my lips. The kiss I'm anticipating doesn't come, instead he murmurs, "you're insane. Amazing, but insane." he ends that with a long kiss. I'm cradled in his lap, his hands still bracing my face, gentle but wanting. I wrap my arms around his neck and he stiffens. "I'm going to kill him," he growls. Twisting my head, the monitor now depicts me with tears in my eyes as Eric withdraws his hand, which is covered in his own blood. Something inside me twists, making me feel sick. Remembering what comes next I hide my face in my hands, feeling the dried blood on my palm. Eric's hand collides with my face and Tobias stops breathing. I pull his eyes away from the screen momentarily "I'm going to go wash up. You can keep on watching. Remember, I do kick his ass in the end," I say before running into the bathroom.

**Ta da! Did ya like it? If not, how can I make you like it? Let me know. **

**XOXO -D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone! So sadly we didn't make our review goal for last night, so I didn't post anything. But, I DID receive many lovely reviews that just made my day, so thank you for all your reviews. I've been thinking, and I know personally that I read the last chapter of a book first, are there any of you who are as weird as me? Or should I just accept my looney fate? If there are any of you guys out there who are like me and NEED to know whats going to happen (especially with Lauren/Tris/Tobias..), I'm going to try something, read below for details. Enough of my rambling. As always huge thanks to thebigdog2895 for editing, and .books for helping me organize my thoughts, I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you guys. (I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO THE DIVERGENTS TRILOGY. RATED MA)**

**Thanks, D**

(Tris)

Cold water splashes my face and hands, dripping and swirling with the water into the basin, Eric's blood tainting it a light shade of pink. Once the water running down my face becomes clear again, I raise my head, trying to force my eyes up to look into the mirror, but they continue to watch the water. The pinkish liquid ripples under the tears that roll down my chin. That's weird. I didn't think I was crying. Before I can get too deep in thought, I pull the plug and watch the evidence of tonight's events mix together and seep into the drain of the sink, out of sight. I can still hear Tobias growling outside, so I decide to let him cool off. I step out of my shoes and peel off my jeans and shirt. I didn't realize they were clinging so tightly to me, damp with sweat. I step into the shower and turn on the water.

The thing about the dauntless apartments is that you can tell you're underground, due to almost everything being carved into the solid stone we call home, but in the right setting, you can draw the warmth and comfort from the earth. Protection. The stone under my feet turns from pale grey to black when the water splashes it. I press my palm to the glass panel to raise the temperature, letting the water scald me. I'm not really aware of what I'm doing, but my body doesn't seem to mind all that much. Each movement comes after the next, and the next thing I know I'm standing with my back pressed against the glass, wrapped in a towel.

Aw crap. I never changed into pajamas when I got back to the dormitories. I was too exhausted I guess. However, that means all I have left to sleep in is a sweaty T-shirt and some jeans. I know Tobias wouldn't let me do that so I don't even bother trying to ease them back on. I pace up and down the bathroom, trying to think of a solution. Movement catches my eye, and I turn, not sure what I'm expecting to see. I stare face to face with a girl who looks exactly like me, but different. Her eyes look darker, not tired, but as if she's been through a lot. Her muscles are more defined, making her scrawny build pass for athletic. I press my hand to hers, my fingers touching nothing but a barrier, each finger creating a little steam mark on the glass. I take a deep breath, wrap my towel tightly around me, and turn away from the mirror.

Peaking my head out of the door, I watch Tobias. His face remains tense, his eyes trained onto the ground as he paces back and forth. He's not foaming at the mouth anymore, but he's still pissed. I clear my throat and he looks up. He looks confused for a millisecond but then a joking smile tugs at his lips. "I don't know about you, but when I stay the night at someone's place I'm at least polite enough to wear clothes." He says while trying to keep a straight face. When I look at him expectantly he breaks, showing off his lopsided grin.

"Second drawer from the top" he points to his dresser and walks away, going into the kitchen and giving me some privacy.

(Four)

I hear the familiar click as the kitchen door swings shut behind me. I grip the kitchen counter as hard as I can, trying not to shout in frustration. Tris is pushing herself, and I know it. I just hope it isn't only for me. Watching that footage tonight... It was too much. I nearly stormed out to the infirmary to kill Eric, but thought better of it, in case Tris needed me.

I count to ten. With each number, I exhale for as long as I can, then go get two glasses out of the cabinet. The hinges creak when I open it, and then I'm drowned in silence. Robotically, I fill the glasses with water, making sure they are perfectly even. Balancing them in one hand, I knock on the door that leads back into my room. "Come in," Tris squeaks. I push the door open and stop immediately. Tris lies at the foot of my bed on her stomach, facing away from me. Her ankles cross and I look and and see she's reading one of the few books I have in my place. But that's not what made me stop. Tris's figure is only covered by one of my t-shirts, the fabric ending midway down her thigh, this is the most Tris has ever let me see, so I waste no time and drink it all in.

I don't know how long I've been standing there, lost in her beauty, when she finally turns around. She grins ear to ear. This was obviously the reaction she was hoping for. I'm still in shock, so I set the waters on the nearest surface, and excuse myself. "I'm... Uh... I'm gunna go brush my teeth." I mumble out. As I walk to the bathroom my eyes never leave hers and she grins devilishly. The moment the door shuts behind me, I lean into it and sink to the ground, hands in my hair. Woah.

(Tris)

Tobias closes the door quickly, muffling the immediate "thump" I assume to be him slumping into it. I can't hold back the delight anymore, so I roll around in victory, stretching my arms above my head, calming myself down. The sheets beneath me are warm and soft, full of life, and with every little movement, they release a little bit of his scent. I lose myself, pressing my face deeper into the sheets, inhaling deeply, drinking in the moment. Tobias had seen me in only my lace boy shorts and his shirt, and didn't seem disappointed; more surprised than anything. Then it hits me. What if no more than a month ago, it was Lauren lying here? What if it was her who had slept with him, after having "wild sex" with my Tobias. Whipping my head up from the covers, I gasp for air, suffocated, but my lungs are only met with icy shards. My knees find their way up to my chest, met by my face. Somehow, they stay completely still, no rise and fall of my chest to affect them, and their tops are cold from the wet tears now flowing onto them.

**So here's what I'm going to try. If you leave a comment (review) telling me 1) a character from the series that you think needs to be included in this story that hasn't yet, and 2) what you want to know, I will try my absolute very best to PM you with the answer, however vague it may be (I haven't even finalized my plot yet). I will be posting a second update later tonight, so review, favourite and follow!**

**-D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys. Let me start off by thanking everyone for their amazing reviews, offer is still open if you want to see certain things happen (read my lil' blurbs from last chapter). I'm going through a pretty dark time in my life, and I feel like this story is letting me escape it for a few minutes each day, and when I see people are actually enjoying my safe haven... well, let's just say I have cried tears of joy from numerous reviews. But screw the mushy shit. Go get your read on! As always thank you to my two fantastic editors, thebigdog2895, and b. loves. books , go give their pages a look! I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy. Rated MA.**

**Happy reading, D**

(Tobias)

The glass is cold on my fingers, but I still let them trail along it while I walk. Each footstep has a purpose, following the next as it should, but all I can think about is the lifeless feeling of the glass brushing against my finger tips. Each step I take echoes, but there is another sound. I recognize it at once, foot steps so quick and quiet, it has to be Tris, but why the hell is she running? I look around to where the sound is coming from, and she runs into view, looking over her shoulder as she sprints, completely absorbed in whatever follows her.

"Tris, what's going on?" I shout. Her head whips around to look me and her face goes white. Her heels dig into the floor and she stops in her tracks. When her eyes meet mine, she screams, tears falling from her eyes. I run towards her, my fingers still trailing behind me on the glass, and when I reach her, she collapses into me. Her full weight presses into me, but she's so small and fragile I don't even stager. Instead I pull her into me with my one arm that's free and wait for her to calm down. Eventually, her screaming dies out and her little figure is wracked with silent sobs. "Tris. Tris I'm here. What's going on?" Shaking, she reaches out and rests her hand on mine, which still touches the glass.

However, it's not glass anymore. Instead, it is a floor to ceiling mirror reflecting Tris nestled to me, her clothes covered in blood, gashes covering her skin, and red marks trailing up her arms and down her back. "Make it stop," she murmurs into my chest. I bite my lip, pulling her closer to me, but the reflection stays still. I look down and Tris is now covered in the same wounds as her reflection. I raise my eyes just in time to see my reflection speak. "It's not safe." Then I wake up.

(Tris)

I wake to the sound of someone talking. I guess some of the others just got up, but do they really need to wake everyone else up? I can't wait to be out of this dormitory. But wait. I'm not in the dormitory. I can't hear the muffled sounds of the pit outside and these sheets are too soft and warm to be mine. I inhale deeply, and it all comes rushing back to me. Eric assaulted me, I'm in Tobias's place, and I fell asleep at the foot of the bed. My eyelids are heavy, but when I manage to pry them open, I see I'm tucked in, alone in his bed, the covers pulled up to my neck and a glass of water on the bedside table. Tobias must have moved me and put me to bed. I roll over to see where the talking is coming from and see him.

Tobias lies on the ground, as close to me as he can get without actually being on the bed. He only wears sweat pants, his chest bare, but the slow rise and fall of sleep is replaced by rapid breaths, as if he's running. His face is contorted in pain, his eyebrows drawn together, and his mouth curved down, hanging slightly open as he mutters my name. "Tris... Tris! I love...you can't! Stop... Stop... Tris!"

His expression is too much for me to handle, I lean over and whisper in his ear, "Tobias it's ok." I try to wake him by wriggling his shoulder, but he doesn't so much as stir. I try lifting his side to roll him over, but he's so solid, I can't even move him. Panicking, I get out of bed and kneel by him, trying to wake him, but he just continues to look panicked and pained. Suddenly he gasps, sitting up so suddenly, we smack foreheads. I stager back but the hit doesn't even register to him. He looks around, panicked, then spots me. "Tobias, I'm sorry I woke you. You were having a night are and I didn't know what to do so I tr-" I start but he just reaches for me and pulls me into him. I sit on his lap, letting him wrap his arms around me and he rests his forehead against mine.

His breathing slows, and he seems to calm down. "You're ok," He mumbles, reaching for my face and studying it. It's not a question, but a statement. I laugh a little, the irony not lost on me at all. "Tobias. Of course I'm ok! I'm right here," I say, my hand holding his against my cheek. The way he looks at me reminds me of all the power in harboured inside of him, his steady gaze calculating. His arms graze me so softly that I can only detect them by their warmth, and his legs don't even register my weight. He could snap me in half within the blink of an eye, but instead he stares at me as if I were the most solid thing in the world.

Trying to ease some tension and lighten the mood, I stand up, keeping my hands in his. "So tell me Tobias, do you have some fear of beds? Because the few times I've slept here, you seem to avoid yours." He smiles at this, then lays back down on the ground hands behind his head. "I really don't mind Tris," he says, shutting his eyes. But I'm not done. I promised myself I would face this fear, and if baby steps is what it takes, then baby steps is what will happen. I let out an exaggerated sigh and lie down next to him. "I didn't ask if you minded." I say while trying my best to keep my breathing even, while I snuggle up next to him. He opens one eye and raises his head, curious. "But it's a shame,"I sigh again. "that we're both going to have to sleep on the floor, because there's no way in hell I'm sleeping alone tonight."

I feel his chest vibrate with laughter, then his strong arms are scooping me up to him while he gets to his feet. His naked chest is warm against me. I kiss his neck, and trail it up his throat, pulling his head down to mine. He's hesitant at first, his lips careful against mine, but when I twist in his arms, he understands. He readjusts me, so my legs can wrap around his hips, giving his hands freedom to roam where they shall. He goes to readjust his footing, forgetting our proximity to the bed, and his foot catches. We're sent crashing down onto the bed, but he twists so I land on him. Laughter wracks our intertwined bodies. I feel happy tears prickle my eyes. A loud bang on the wall from the apartment next door distracts us. An angry voice shouts, muffled by the wall "Shut the fuck up! It's not even six yet!"

We laugh silently, side by side, until the sleepy feeling tugs too hard to resist. Tobias pulls the cover up and over us, kissing me gently. His arms form a cage around me, pulling me tight against him, protecting me from everything but my thoughts. "I love you Tris."

But does he really?

**Dunh Dunh Duhhhhh... Ok so the number one review other than "update" is concern about this whole Lauren thing. I know I know, it makes my skin crawl too There will be a little bit of insight next chapter, and then total clarification in a few chapters. The more reviews I get the more I update, so if you can't think of anything other than "update" let me know one part you wish you could have changed in the first book. If you have any questions the promise of me PM'ing your reviews is still open, so let me know.**

**XOXO -D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hola mi amigos! (that's about as Spanish as I get, apart from tacos, but hey, shout out to my 2 viewers in spain). SPEAKING of shout outs, read below how you can get me to PM you, read one of your stories, and give y'all a little shout out. Secondly, huge thank you to all those out there that reviewed, I hope you got a PM of whatever you were hoping for. And lastly, to all of you guys chewing my ear off saying "where's the sex?!" ITS COMING! I cant wait, but I kinda got obsessed with my plot and now you're going to have to wait a little longer. Do you guys want me to write another separate one chapter story of Four/Tris thats just basically a lemon? So you dont have to wait until they finally get it on in my plot? But if you are looking for something more erotic right now, my wonderful editor thebigdog2895 has a lovely lemon titled "allegiant alternate ending" that I think will do just the trick. Big thanks to my other editor b. loves. books , and all those amazing reviews. (I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO THE DIVERGENT TRILOGY)**

**-D**

(Tobias)

I reach out to pull Tris tighter to me, but the covers I find are cold. Sitting up, I realize I'm alone in my bed, but someone's moving around quietly in the kitchen. I get up and open the kitchen door as quietly as I can. She stands there with her back facing me, obviously oblivious to me. I smell food cooking and see she's rummaging through my cabinets, pulling out ingredients I forgot I had. I can't cook to save my life, so I always eat at the dining hall, along with lots of other dauntless. She flips something over in a skillet and turns around to open the fridge. She stops when she sees me, a grin lighting up her face. Her hair is tied up in a knot on top of her head, messier than the sleek abnegation style, pieces falling loose and framing her face. She continues pulling bits and pieces from the freezer. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to stare?" She mocks while biting her lip and smoothing out my T-shirt to cover her legs as much as possible. "If someone put a great piece of art in front of you, it would be rude not to stare!" I retort, stepping behind her and wrapping my arms around her tiny waist. "You look good in that t-shirt," I whisper, kissing her just below her ear. She laughs, but I can tell something's up, she's holding back something. "Sit," she commands, pointing to the breakfast bar. I do as I'm told and, within a couple minutes, a steaming stack of pancakes sit in front of me.

Sitting as close to me as the chairs allow, she piles some pancakes on each of our plates and motions for me to start eating. "I'm glad you like it on me,"she says between chews, "because you're not getting it back". She smiles up at me, her face illuminated with joy, mockery swirled deeply into her tone. I take another bite. "Oh? And why would that be?" I ask, getting up and putting on a pot of coffee. "Well, it's the only thing I've found here so far that doesn't either cling so tight to me I can't breath or isn't made out of metal." She says right before tearing into another pancake. Tris is the only girl I can think of complaining about clothes too tight or too short, yet she always looks the best in them.

"As long as you don't wear pants with it, I'm happy," I say as I set down two steaming mugs and slide her onto my lap. She rolls her eyes and reaches for her plate, dragging it over so she can finish off what's left. "Well well well, looks like someone forgot to take off their bossy pants today," she mocks, setting down her plate. She stacks our plates and goes to stand, but I grab her by the hips, pulling her tighter to me. She looks up to question me, but I catch her off guard, pressing my lips to hers.

She waits a second, questioning my motives, but finally sets the plates down and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling herself up to me. She starts tenderly, letting her tongue trace the inside of my mouth, but then she laces her fingers into my hair, forcing me into her, and I comply. I stand, her legs rest on my hips and I lean over the breakfast bar. She lies down pulling me on top of her. I take my hands from her hips and run them down her legs, feeling her smooth skin tighten over her tense muscles. I run my hand up, slowly, appreciating each and every curve of her skin, feeling scars and scrapes only a dauntless could have. My fingers brush against the lace hugging her, tracing the pattern, then trail my hand farther up, feeling the fabric of my T-shirt which has ridden up.

"Speaking of taking things off..." She slows, not quite freezing, but definitely winding down. Her hands untangle themselves from my hair, one finding mine that rests at the hem of her/my shirt. "Actually," she murmurs against my mouth, "I've been thinking.. You know... Maybe, if you're ok with it, tonight could..."she turns her head, looking anywhere but me, and I see a reddish hue creep up into her already rosy cheeks. She inhales and exhales deeply, and presses her eyes shut tightly. "I was thinking we could finally have sex tonight," she says, letting it rush out, the shaking in her voice hardly detectable, but I watch her lips, which give her away. "Tris, we don't have to do this," I mumble, pulling her up so she sits on the counter, but when she opens her eyes, where I expect to see relief, her eyes look hurt. Her bottom lip quivers and her hand twitches in mine. "Do you... Do you not want to. With me?" She whispers, so quite it's barely audible.

What in the world has gotten into this girl? "Tris, of course I do, I love you. But when someone becomes your sole purpose to get up in the morning," I cup her face in my hands and make her look at me, "you tend to put their needs before your desire." I finish, skimming my lips against hers. She sighs, looking me in the eyes. "Then yes. We will. Tonight, I'm going to conquer my fear." She smiles, but I see by the way it curves, it's slightly forced. She's still not telling me something.

Ready to change the subject, I pick her up and place her back down on her chair. She watches as I clear our plates, sipping at her coffee. "Speaking of being bossy, what colour is your dress for tonight?" I ask. Tonight is the celebration of bravery, where all of dauntless gathers for a formal, just like the ones we read about in our faction history text books back in school, where the girls wear long dresses and bucketfuls of makeup, and guys stand uncomfortably in suits. The pit gets transformed into a giant ball room, and next years dauntless born initiates serve us for the evening. Tris slams her mug down on the counter, her face overcast with worry and fear.

"Oh shit. Aw crap. God Christina's going to kill me. I left my dress in the shop yesterday. I thought if I got it out of the way I could have today to relax, but now she's going to lhave an excuse to drag me out shopping." Tris slams her head against the counter repeatedly, and looks up, exasperated when I start to laugh. "You don't get it! When was the last time you had to stand in a dress with underwear hiked a mile up your ass?!" she says, raising her voice. When she returns to slamming her head against the counter I pull her up and sling her over my shoulder. She slumps, defeated. "I'm going to have to kill myself. It's the only logical solution," she moans into my back.

Tossing her onto the bed where she lands gracefully, I roll my eyes. "Calm down, I'll call her and tell her you need to rest. She's scared of me. Anyways, I have to go train with the guys in about half an hour, she can just send it with Will and I'll bring it back." She looks gratefully up at me. And smiles. "I love you," she says and then slumps down on the covers.

**Ok to get the shout out in next chapter's blurb, you must answer one of the following.**

**1) A character in the actual novel that you want to see killed off in my story and why. (they could still be alive in the novel if you want)**

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	10. Chapter 10

**Hi Guys! Ok, so as you may notice this chapter is super long. That's because I decided that today will be my last day of 7/days a week updating *sigh* I will try to update almost everyday, but I've found myself having to force myself to write, which was giving me crap material. So I will be updating every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, but if I find myself WAY ahead in my writing, I will post everyday. Follow this story to find out when I do update! Also, I FINALL wrote the first sex scene, and it will be in chapter 14. Lastly as promised, shout outs: **

**babybluecat247 - love your story "a bit pitchy"**

**HalleyJoe - I couldnt walk away from your story "Be free and brave"**

**Review for a shout out. As always, a huge thanks to my editors, b. loves. books and thebigdog2895, go check them out.**

**Thanks, D**

"Ow! How the hell did you do that?!" Uriah pants. We hadn't even been fighting for a minute, but he already lies on the ground gasping under my foot. He reaches for my hand when I offer it to him, pulling him to his feet. We were in the Training Centre, along with lots of other dauntless members. The Centre was huge, about the size of a football field, and had a track that looped around it. It was divided into strength, weaponry, agility, combat and obstacle courses, each as important as the next. "It's really quite extraordinary Four," Will grunts between push ups by our mat. "Given the odds, one would think you should have gotten your ass kicked at least once." Zeke walks over from his punching bag and yanks Will up by his shirt, "Well Will, one would be wrong." He says, mocking the slight upturn at the end of the sentence as Erudites speak. Zeke let's him go, all of us laughing.

"But we have more important matters to discuss young lads," he motions to Will and Uriah. Then, looking directly into my eyes, he crosses his arms over his puffed out chest. "So Four," he says. I can tell he's not trying to interrogate me, scare me or talk down to me, but honest curiosity piques his voice. "You and Tris seriously haven't boned yet?" I expect the other two to laugh, but I'm met with silence. Shit. I shrug my shoulder and walk over to the weights, and starting my bicep curls. They follow me, but don't so much as glance at the weights. Instead, they stare, Zeke expectant, Will curious, and Uriah pensive. They're not going to leave this alone. "But... Four. You guys gotta be pretty serious to have dated while you were training her. One word of that to Eric and your balls would have been chopped." Uriah states, awe and protection creeping into his voice.

At the mention of Eric's name, I drop the weight, and it tumbles to the ground, narrowly missing my feet, but I don't bother to move. I can still see Tris, in my dream, her little body pressed into mine, pulsing me every time she was wracked with a sob. I could smell her sweet scent, light vanilla and lavender, tainted by blood and dirt. It's not safe. But what isn't safe? "Dude... Is he right? Were you guys hooking up during initiation?" Zeke says, snapping me out of my daydream. I reach a hand over and rub my head, like I had to think about my answer. "Well, yeah. I guess technically we were." I say, roaming my eyes over the room, avoiding looking at their faces and seeing their reactions. "Man screw technically. Why the hell haven't you guys done it?" It was Will who spoke, surprising us all, but I can tell their not going to drop this, they'll push me to tell them. "Because she's scared. Alright? Intimacy was in her fear landscape, that was what all the observers were laughing at." I say it as quickly as I can, trying not to raise my voice, but feeling so tired of trying to hold back.

Silence. For a full minute not a sound emanates from any of their mouths. Then Zeke walks over, grabbing my shoulder and rustling it, a sign of comfort here. "Dude... That blows." Uriah and Will nod their heads in agreement. I shrug, deciding that maybe talking to someone about it all could actually help. "Well it's not only her. I mean I don't know what to expect or do or..," I trail off when I realize each of their jaws are practically on the ground. Uriah strides forward, each step a little bouncier than it needs to be, a smug smile crossing his face. "Hold on one freaking second. So you're telling me, that you, The Four, the guy that could have any girl wrapped around him so tightly he bursts, is a virgin?!" He comes over and knocks me under the chin, hard enough for me to stagger back, but lightly enough that I feel no pain. I walk over and pick up the weights, stacking them back on their rack. "Yeah, I guess" I say while I straighten up.

Someone jumps on me, piggy backing me while grinding their fist into my hair. "Well there's our problem, man! Now ride noble steed, to the food hall!" Zeke shouts from on my back before I flip him move. He crashes to the floor, landing on his back. "Or we can just walk" he groans.

"So have you and Christina done it yet?" Uriah asks, jamming a burger into his mouth. The food hall buzzes with people talking excitedly about tonight, no doubt, but they all seem too focused on their own lives to eavesdrop on us. Will grins and nods his head, "ooh yeahhhh." He looks around to make sure no one's listening then leans in real close. "She's wild. Super kinky, likes to be tied up and stuff, you know?" I roll my eyes. "Oh yeah bro. Marlene does this thing where she-" he mumbles out with a mouthful of burger, but a fry hits him smack in between his eyes. "Dude, I'm trying to eat here! I don't want to hear about my little brother boning some chick!" Zeke exclaims, making a grossed out face. Uriah just sticks his tongue out at Zeke, shaking his head so the water in his hair left from the post-training shower soaks us."There's a lot to hear big bro... A lot." This sort of conversation drags on, until finally, they let me go.

"Hey babe" I say as I shut my door behind me. She's still just in my T-shirt, sitting cross legged on the bed reading. She looks up from her book and giggles at the word babe, her whole face glowing. She looks gorgeous, eyes crinkling at the corners when she laughs, but then as if a thought runs through her head, her smile becomes forced. I drop my backpack from the shoulder it was slung on and run over to her, jumping and landing above her, taking all my weight on my arms on either side of her face, which she covers with her hands. "Tobias!" She shrieks while she laughs as I pry her hands away. Her hands pull on the collar of my shirt, dragging me down on top of her. I breathe her in, basking in her presence and taking in every little bit of her. The way bits of her hair falls on her cheeks, too short to reach the knot on her head, but every single place those hairs touch is a master piece.

I get lost in thought while I marvel at her, but she clears her throat, bringing me out of my haze. "So Christina called. Looks like someone forgot?" She says, smiling up at me. "Oops, guess I just got.. Preoccupied." I say while I kiss her neck, down he throat and rest my lips on each of her ravens. "Tobias..." She begins to moan. "Tobias!" She smacks the back of my head playfully. "We need to focus. I told her I was still hung over and that she can go shop for me, which she actually seemed to really like the idea of. She going to be here soon, so naturally I'll hop in the shower and let you deal with her." She kisses me and rolls over, prancing over to the bathroom. She turn around and gives me a sexy stare, narrowing her eyes and licking her lips. "See ya soon, babe".

(Tris)

I wait for the water to warm, wrapped in a warm towel, I tap my foot against the cool stone floor, the sound echoing around me. I take my time once I get in, partly because I want to look good for Tobias tonight, but mostly so I can avoid Christina. I had been able to go get some supplies today in a store at the edge of the pit without running into Christina, who surely would have hauled me off into a shop with way too many frills than necessary and not nearly enough black for dauntless. I wash my hair, shave, well... everywhere, and then scrub away with my regular soap. The water hits my back, each little droplet acting as a shock to keep me going, and I watch the water swirl down the drain. Water is lucky. I wish I could melt through that drain.

"Just take them!" I hear an annoyed Christina scream muffled by the bathroom door. I must have been in here along time if Christina already sounds ready to leave. Someone marches to the front door and slams it, but when I strain my ears, I hear tobias exhale a huge sigh of relief. I place my palm on the control panel on the glass and turn the shower off.

Once I'm dry, I shrug on Tobias's T-shirt and some clean underwear I had brought over from the dormitories today. Quietly as possible, I creak open the door and peak my head outside, making sure the cost is clear of Christina. The room is empty except for Tobias, who lies on the bed, face down, looking defeated. I seize the chance to sneak up on him, tip toeing across the room, and positioning myself, ready to pounce onto the edge of the bed. The second my feet lift of the ground though, he twists, his years of training catching me off guard.

Catching me by the waist, he turns around and lets me fall beside him, rolling on top of me the second I hit the bed. So it's a fight he wants. Well it shall be a fight he gets. He pins me, pressing his lips to mine. I'm still steaming hot from the shower, so his lips feel like ice, sending all the right kinds of chills down my spine. Before i can open up my mouth to his, I feel his lips twitch against mine, slowly arcing up into a great big grin. He lifts his face from mine, and I try to read his expression. His eyebrows are drawn together a little bit, but his smile is all joy. "What is it?" I mumble, worry creeping into my tone and grasping at my throat. He smiles even more, any look of guilt now replaced by amusement.

"You're going to kill her." He says, rolling off me and placing at least 7 different shopping bags on the bed. Christina's parents had figured out how to transfer money into her dauntless account, and seeing as they made more money than they knew what to do with, Christina always bought people presents. The one closest to me is stamped with the name of the dress shop we enter too, but I don't recognize any of the others. There's a pink one, three black ones, the red one from the dress shop, and one white one, each far too glassy and high end looking for anything I could possibly want. At the edge of the pink one, I see some lace sticking out of the bag. I clear my throat, and look over at him with mock causality. "Tobias, mind telling me what the hell these all are?" I say, trying to sound nonchalant. He looks me dead in the eye biting his lip, trying to hold back a laugh.

"She dropped the bags off. All I know is that's all stuff for you to wear tonight." He says, holding up his hands in a fake surrender. "You're a filthy liar Tobias," I joke while sticking out my tongue at him. He laughs while I pull the bags towards me. Ok Tris, let's get this over with. I grab the smallest bag, one of the black ones, and dump the contents into my lap. Out comes little pots and tubes filled with an array of colourful goops and powders, followed by brushes and little tools that look like some sort of torture devices. I stare up at him, and can tell by his expression he is loving every minute of this.

"It was a buy one get one free sale, she had to give them to somebody, she couldn't just shove them into some corner. It would be a tragedy!" He recites what I'm sure is an exact quote, while crossing his hands behind his head to enjoy the show. "I'll tell her where to shove them." I mumble while I reach for the next one. The bed shakes with Tobias's laughter, but when I shoot him the most angry look I can, he calms down. "Sorry sorry. Back to the serious matter at hand, shopping," he says, sarcasm just oozing out of him. I whack him in the stomach, but I'm pretty sure my hand gets the worst of it. I swear, he's made out of steel or something.

Eventually, the bed is cluttered with tissue papers of all colours, and Tobias and I have laughed too much for what we're doing, each bag bringing more jokes and digs than the last. I've piled up what we've unboxed so far, the makeup from the first bag now buried under bottles of perfume, hair clips, combs and other things that will never touch my head, as well as 2 different pairs of shoes, both looking like they were designed for you to fall out of. Bottles of nail polish rest nuzzled in one of the many hand bags and clutches by the side. Two bags are left, the one from the dress shop, and the pink one. I take a deep breath, reaching for the dress bag, when I see a little note folded in the tissue of the pink bag. Tobias notices my hesitation Following my line of sight, we both dive for it. His hand grabs it before I've even come close, and while I make a grab for it, he puts a hand on my stomach, keeping him and the note out of my reach.

"Tris," he reads "don't open this one without me, you're going to need some explanation. -C" he looks up once he finishes, a big fake pout on his face. "Oh no! And I was so excited," he says, placing it down next to the bed. "Well I'm glad you're enjoying watching me be tortured," I say, finally reaching for the dress bag. I reach in and pause, looking up at him. "Are you allowed to see it? I mean that's not bad luck or something right?" He laughs at me then swings his legs over the bed, getting up and heading over to the kitchen. "I like surprises," he says, shutting the door behind him.

**Thanks for nearly 9000 views! Review to let me know what you think!**

**D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello guys! Sorry about reporting chapter 1! Here's the real chapter!First of all, I am currently unable to do nything because my mind is BLOWN by getting to 11 500 views last night. WHAT?! you guys are AMAZING! I swear to god my parents ran into my room thinking I was being murdered because I screamed so loud. Thank you thank you thank you! Secondly, thank you for all the reviews, keep them coming! And lastly, read below if you are interested in having your fan art as the cover of this story! As always thank you to thebigdog2895 and b. loves. books , my awesome editors! (I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy, rated MA)**

I grab some chips from the cupboard and hoist myself up onto the counter, but before I can even grab a handful out of the bag, I hear Tris shout,"That... She... Gahhhh!" The springs m*** under her when she stands, and I hear a loud bang. "Ow!" Tris squeaks out, sounding annoyed, but loud enough for me to hear her through the door. Just as I get to my feet to run out and make sure she's ok, the kitchen door slams open. A huffing red faced Tris stomps in, turns to me, and an expression of pure rage is plastered on her face. "I'm going to KILLL HER!" she grumbles when she storms towards me. I open my arms to hold her, but she reaches right past me and grabs the chips. "Hey!" I joke, reaching for the bag, but the sight of her stops me. Legs curled up into her chest, mouth stuffed with chips, and an expression that reads 'I AM THINKING ABOUT MURDER RIGHT NOW.' I double over with laughter, and she throws a handful of chips at my back. "Es nah funeh!" She yells through a mouthful of chips. I stand and pull her into my arms. She remains curled into a ball, so I turn her onto her back and hold her like an infant. "Wanna try that one again?" I say as I press my lips to her forehead. She chews then swallows, looks up at me, angry, but I can tell she's starting to calm down. "She's insane! Completely insane! It takes her constant nagging, hair pulling and fighting me-," Tris says, but I cut her off "fighting you?" I ask. "Shh. So yeah. Finally. FINALLY, she gets me into a dress, mind you it was the only one in that store that didn't either show my a** or my n***, but still," she continues, rolling her eyes, straightening out her legs a bit more, so I can actually hold her properly.

"So I put the dress on, right? I sacrifice myself to her so she can have a night of fun playing dress up with me, then you know what she does?" She looks at me, as if she actually expects me to know. "Do tell," I encourage her. "She puts a slit in the thing. As if I could walk in the thing without falling on my a** already. A slit. Now my legs are going to be out in the open. I may as well just go n***!" She exclaims, slumping into my chest as finality. "Now that I wouldn't mind...," I murmur into the space right below her ear. She giggles.

"Stop it Tobias! That tickles!" She says smiling into my chest, and I feel her laugh vibrate through me. I raise an eyebrow at her."Oh does it now?" I murmur suggestively. I support her in one of my arms and reach over to tickle her rib cage. She squeals, rolling out of my arms and landing in a crouch on the ground. "You are so dead!" She says menacingly, but her tone is blanketed by laughter. I stay perfectly still. "You gotta catch me to kill me." And at that I run, vaulting over the side table.

Fifteen minutes later, we lay sided by side clutching our sides, gasping for air. "I'm glad you finally admit defeat, I was almost getting tired," I say. She rolls over and flicks me between my eyebrows. "Oh please! 2 more minutes and I would have had you pinned, screaming for mercy," she says while resting her head on my shoulder, staring straight at me. We stare at each other letting our breathing slow. Suddenly, I remember something. "Earlier, when you pulled out your dress, there was a loud bang and then you let out an "ow". I thought someone had barged in or something. What was that?" I ask. She smiles at the memory of her freak out. "Oh yeah, I meant to tell you, but you were too busy trying to tickle me to death. You need softer walls," she states, keeping a completely straight face.

"What?" I ask, still confused. She rolls her eyes, as if it's obvious. "Well, when I first saw that f*** slit...," she rambles off, her fists clenching by her sides. Snapping back to the conversation at hand, she shakes her head as if to clear it. "When I first saw it, I was about to run out and find her, just so I could yell at her, but I figured she would just tell me I'm being silly, and then I'd just get even more frustrated, so I punched your wall instead," she finishes, looking around, locating the spot she punched I'm sure. I kiss the edge of her mouth where a smile tries to form on her face I pull her close to me and press my lips to hers. "Insane, but I love you," I say. She pulls my head down to hers, kissing me deeply. I inhale deeply, just breathing in every detail about her. She's perfect.

"I love you too," she mumbles into my mouth. She grabs my shirt collar, pulls me up into a sitting position, and crawls into my lap, all while keeping our mouths intertwined. "Tris," I say. She stops immediately. "What's up?" She asks, worried. She must have read my my voice well enough to detect the anticipation and nervousness in it. I reach over to my bed side table opening the drawer. She freezes. "Uh.. Tobias.. I um.. I thought we were going to wait until after the dance tonight... I'm not .. And anyways, we don't need one... There's been a shot developed by the erudite so we-" she rambles nervously, eyes staring down at her lap where her hands untangle themselves. What is she talking about? What did she say about after the- oh. "Tris, it's not a condom. I have something for you." She breathes out a sigh of relief, laughing at herself.

She sits there in my lap, facing me, still staring at her palms, now resting on her knees. I place the little velvet box in her hand, and pull her chin up so she looks me in the eye. "Tris. I'm in love with you. You're the reason for me to breath. I wasn't actually alive until I met you. I love you." I let it all rush out. She smiles up at me, questioningly. "Tobias, what is it?" She asks. I motion for her to open the box. She lifts it, unclamps the lid, and delicately pulls the lid open on its hinges. Her free hand rushes to her mouth and her breath hitches. "Tobias, they're beautiful!" She whispers in awe as she pulls the pearl choker from its place nestled in the box.

"I want you to have it. It was my mom's, she could never wore it, you know how it is in abnegation, especially with Marcus and all..." I trail off, my throat tightening at the thought of him. "Anyways, it's been in my family forever, and only people I love have worn it." Her smile falters for a fraction of a second, worry clouding her gaze, but as fast as it appeared, it vanished. Maybe I'm just seeing things. "So umm, anyways. Yeah. You don't have to wear it tonight, I'm sure Christina would kill me if I messed with her little doll's outfit for the night." Tris whacks my in the stomach, but smiles. " I love it. I love you. Can you put it on me?" Tris asks, her eyes a little glossier than usual.

She turns in my lap, and I brush the stray strands from her neck away, trailing kisses on her as I do. Once the clasp is done up, she turns back around, her face alight with joy. "How does it look?" She asks. My Tris sits there, every single piece of her more beautiful than the next. The pearls hang close to her throat, but are still dazing from the background of my dark shirt on her. My breath gets caught in my throat, and when I move my mouth, I can't find any words to force out. She's my whole life, my everything, just like the last woman to wear those pearls.

I know I need to tell Tris about my mom, but not tonight. Instead I just grab her and flip her onto her back, careful not to let her bare any of my weight. While I look up between kisses, I notice the clock reads 3:28. F***. "Um Tris? Do you need to start getting ready for the celebration soon?" I ask, nervously, but she just laughs. "Tobias, it doesn't start until 8!" And as if on cue, a loud knock on the door pulls me from her. "Who the hell is bothering you in the middle of the day?" Tris questions, looking genuinely confused. Before I can open the door, it's slammed open to reveal Christina with her arms full of bags. I reach to grab some, but she shrugs me off.

"You, out, the boys are getting ready at Zeke's place, your suit is already over there." Christina orders.

I look over at Tris, comprehension dawning on her face. "Oh you little s***...," she growls at me, standing up. I turn and dart for the door. "Don't let her near any walls Christina, she'll just punch them. I slam the door behind me, laughing. The last thing I hear while I walk down the hall is Tris's muffled voice, "FOUR, YOU BETTER RUN!"

**Thanks for reading! sorry this is just kind of another fluffy bit, but I've been feeling like I've been losing their personalities too much in the intense bits. To get your fan art displayed as the cover, review saying you are interested, and I'll PM you to talk details. Thanks guys!**

**D**


	12. Chapter 12

Hello guys! Sorry I'm posting this mid day! So as you may know from reading the blurbs, **Sunday will be when they FINALLY get it on. But, I would like to propose something. If we can get 20 new reviews between now and Saturday, the moment we hit twenty I'll post ch 13 and 14 (where the do the deed). So keep your amazing reviews coming everyone! It let's me know your actually reading it! Thanks to my amazing editors thebigdog2895 and b. loves. books check them out. I don't own anything, rated MA**

* * *

(Tris)

Christina is gracious enough to let me moan into the sheets while she gets the place ready. She pulls a million things out of her bags and sets them down in their imaginary designated places. She pulls stools from the kitchen, and mirrors from the closet doors. "Can I please wear pants?" I mumble into the pillow, knowing it's useless. She laughs half heartedly. "Shut up Tris. You're going to enjoy this. You're going to look HOT. Whether you like it or not. Now come sit here." I raise my head up from my pillow and take in the room. She's set up a beauty station, with the mirror, stool, and coffee table becoming some sort of giant vanity. Every single thing I could ever fathom being used, beauty wise, is on the table, as well as a million other bits that look menacing.

I slither off the bed and slump onto the stool. "If you come anywhere near my face with any of this, I will bite you," I say but I can tell she's having fun, so I let her do as she pleases. She holds up a big container with what looks like blueish-grey mud. "It's just a face mask. I'm going to put this on your face and then I'll work on some other bits of you while you wait 30 minutes, then I'll wash it off," she says in a hushed slow tone, as if she were trying to calm an rabid wild animal. Once my face is covered with it, and my body is covered in some sort of moisturizing creme, she lets me sit in bed to wait for it to sink in. She applies her mask and creme within seconds, then flops down onto the bed next to me.

N n"So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on? Or am I going to have to shove my hand into your little head and pull whatever is bothering you out?" I turn my head in her direction, and she just stares expectantly. " I don't know what-," she cuts me off. "Cut the crap Tris. I just spent 10 minutes rubbing your face, and everywhere else for that matter, while I talked about SHOES, and you nodded along like it was the most interesting conversation you've ever had. What's up?" I stare down at my finger resting on my thighs, just where Tobias's t- shirt stops. The fabric that was as light as a feather moments ago, now feels like led on my skin. I watch as the fabric billows with my chest falling and rising so fast. "Um.. Well I kinda decided tonight was going to be... The night," I murmur, my chin resting against my chest.

"I know! Look at you! Of course tonight's going to be a special night!" She exclaims, making me snap my head up and stare, jaw dropping to the floor. However, when I see her expression, I realize she thinks I'm just talking about having a great night. "Umm no. Like, sex wise," I say, breaking eye contact even before I start. Her mouth glides farther open than humanly possible into a huge smile that should crack her face. She squeals loudly, nearly shattering my ear drum. She grabs my arms so tight that I'm can feel the finger nail marks appearing. "Oh my god! This is so exciting! Do you have the shot? How do you-" I cut her off by smacking her in the stomach. "Christina, it's not a big deal," I say, looking around the room while trying to think of a way to change the subject. My eyes spot the pink bag, still unopened.

"What's in there?" I ask, pointing to where it sits beside the dresser. As if a switch were flipped in her head, her eyes squint and her mouth curves into a mischievous smile. "OK. So let me explain. Obviously the whole point of being a girl is to look hot right?" She states, but before I can disagree, she continues. "But clearly in Dauntless, you kinda need to be able to carry weapons with you. So when a chick's wearing a dress that hardly has enough room for her to fit into it, she doesn't have room to stash a knife without a huge bulge. So these were invented." She hops off the bed and grabs the bag, tossing it onto the bed and motions for me to open it. I rummage through the tissue paper for a while, until my hand finally meets what I had been dreading. Slowly, as if it was a grenade, I pull out a pair of underwear, if you can call them that. It's more like a triangle of black lace attached to a thin lace ribbon. "Those are just normal underwear, nothing special about them, I got you a few pairs of those. Anyway, there's more!" Like a kid , she yanks the bag from my hands and pulls out what looks to be like a thin lace belt that matches the underwear, but dangling from it are pieces of black fabric with little hooks on the end.

"OK, you're going to love this. It's designed for when you want to wear a really short dress, but rock those knee high boots. You just attach your knife to the end of the little garter, and when you want it, all you have to do is pull! Adorable right?!" She coos, gleaming at her purchase. Adorable isn't the word I would use, maybe something more along the lines of disturbing. Before I can process the million questions developing in my head, she pulls out what I was dreading most. "No. Nuh uh. I am NOT wearing a push up bra. Sorry, nope, not doing it," I state as I try to get up, but she drags me down and pins me under her. She looks hilarious, face covered in bluish grey goop, like some sort of Martian. I giggle at the sight of her, but unfortunately she takes that as a good sign.

"That's the spirit. The point isn't the fact that it's an asset enhancement support system, but rather, what it can hold." She waves the black lace in front of my face, but then pulls at the band of the bra, and out comes a knife way too big to be able to fit in that tiny thing. "Amazing isn't it? The metal becomes pliable when it contacts the special material of the bra, so it can curl up and fit in the empty space below your tits." she says in a dreamy haze. She snaps out of it, going slightly red from what skin I can see just below her mask. "Um, sorry. Will really likes this brand of lingerie," she giggles. "Now get up off your butt and go put these on! We only have a little while till we need to leave!" She exclaims, pushing me off the bed with the bag in my hand.

After what feels like hours of sitting in the stool in nothing but my new underwear and bra (she was nice enough to let me get away without the garter belt seeing as boots "would just tragically ruin my outfit"), draped in towel, facing the bed and being plucked, tweezed, pinched and painted, Christina's finally let's me turn around and look in the mirror. "OK ready? Three, two one!" She pulls her hands away from my eyes and my jaw drops. "How did... What happened to.. Oh my god. Christina, you're amazing!" In the mirror I can see her clasp her hands in delight, tears springing to her eyes. I go back to studying my face.

I still look like myself, no drastic colors anywhere on my face, but every subtle quality has been brought up to the surface. The face that stares back at me has sharper eyes, higher cheeks bones, and glossier lips, but she's still me. She just also happens to be Dauntless. Christina wipes away the lone tear that had fallen and hugs me too tight for me to breath. She holds me at arms length, examining me like a proud mother. "Go put your dress on, I'll do myself while you do."

I step into the bathroom and take my dress from where it hangs in a garment bag on the door. It slides on perfectly, and as the zipper closes, for the first time ever, I feel beautiful. I step out, and Christina is already dressed and in full makeup. "We look hot. Admit it," She demands, cocking her hip to the side in classic Christina fashion. I shrug "What can I say. You're a crazy, scary and talented person." She smiles, taking the compliment, and points over to the bed. "OK, so I laid out your accessories. I hope their OK." On the sheets sits a little crimson purse not big enough to carry anything practical around, but still very pretty.

Beside it lies Tobias's mom's pearl necklace, a gold cuff-like bracelet, and finally, the scariest part, a pair of insanely high black heels. The actual heel parts of them are studded with little gold spikes. "I don't think I can walk in those," I worry aloud as I put on the pearls and the bracelet. "Sure you can. Jesus Tris you can jump off a building. You're dauntless for Christ's sake!" She exclaims.

But I'm not.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everybody! So we're a few reviews away from our goal, but I am scheduled to update anyways today. I actually messed up and won't be posting the lemon until next Saturday, because I didn't separate one of my chapters. I know this isn't fair, but posting 5 chapters for 20 reviews seems a bit much. So if I get an insane amount of reviews, I will post it, otherwise, really good reviews (like the thoughtful ones of hannahkay2013 and 909me1) will get a PM with a sneak peak at the sex. Sorry to make you guys wait even longer. Huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2895 on the past few chapters especially. I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy.**

(Tobias)

Water's deceiving. In perfect lighting, and nothing to upset the stillness of it, you can see your reflection, as if it were a mirror. But when the sun starts to rise, a wave crashes, or you splash your foot in it and suddenly it switches from something that lets you see only yourself, to a force that is so visible. Yet, it is too translucent to define its edges. It morphs from a delicate like glass that's cool to the touch to a solid that you can and can't feel set into a barrier-like line to an indistinguishable hectic storm with a force that seems so tangible, but when it is caught in your fingers, it seeps through them, gone within seconds.

A crash of water rebounding off a rock in the chasm flies up, a droplet landing on my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts. Was I always gripping the railing this tightly? My knuckles are white, and the railing feels like ice against my palm. Whether it's from the chilly wind in the chasm, or from the fact that I'm so nervous that I feel like I'm in a sauna right now, I don't know. Another spout goes crashing down, shattering into a million pieces against the jagged rocks. I like this spot. It's easy to see the chasm, but it's still not part of the pit. I strain my eyes and see the only dry spot, the spot where Tris and I first kissed.

"Hey you! Move you're in my way!" Someone shouts at me. I turn around, to tell whoever just shouted to get lost, but freeze, grabbing the railing for support. There, no more than 10 feet from me, is Tris. Her face is glowing, and her cheeks are just slightly flushed, but her smile shines against her little lips, warming me like a sun's beams from a summer's day. Her hair is twisted up into a beautiful knot, similar to a style from Abnegation, only more gentle, and complimentary to her beauty. A few pieces hang loose around her face, framing the most beautiful work of art in existence. Her pearls sit just above her collar bones where her ravens seem to be flying away from the black fabric on her chest. I keep moving my gaze down, her long black dress emphasizing every curve on her body, clinging in to all the right places, but still keeping a modest flow. Are those spikes I see at the bottom of her dress? No, it couldn't be.

She stands practically a foot taller than usual, but that isn't what stops me, nor is it her hair or her dress. It's the fact that in all this...this... this glamour, she still looks like my Tris. She's simply glowing, not able to relax her cheeks and hide her grin, still wearing my mothers string of pearls. Her eyes sparkle brightly, like the first night I kissed her, and like the first time I told her I loved her. I can see the chasm reflected in them. The railing lets out a little groan under my weight, and I realize I'm hardly standing anymore. I can't breathe or think or speak. All I can do is stare at her, my Tris.

"So, what do you think?" she twirls with elegant sarcasm, the edges of her dress catching in the wind, her legs looking so damn sexy, from what I catch a glimpse of. "Tris.. Wa? And the... You..." I stammer, trying to force words to come. She smiles even brighter, all traces of sarcasm gone, and she closes the space between us, wrapping her arms around my neck. "That's kinda what I was going for." She brushes her lips against mine, barely letting me feel her face's warmth, but that spark of her lips was like a shock of an electrical current, the point of was contact buzzing.

(Tris)

I laugh and look down at our feet. "Hey." I say, trying to hide the bashful look from veiling my natural smile. "Hi." Tobias says, offering me his arm, a look of amazement and awe still clear on his face.. We walk for a few minutes in silence, and I twitch nervously. Too nervously for him not to notice. "Tris?" he says, sounding worried. His free hand guides me to twist around and face him, but I just look back down, mindlessly fiddling with the clasp on my clutch, distracting myself from the matter at hand. "Say it." He states. It's not an order or a question, because we both know exactly what he's referring to, the silence, the nervousness that I've been trying too hard to hide. I can't hide from him. I slowly drag my gaze up, finally locking eyes with him, knowing it's no use to play dumb. "Tobias if there were someone, someone you had once cared about," I pause, bringing my fingers to gently rest on the pearls around my neck. "Someone who was still around, would you tell me? Even if it didn't seem to affect us in any what way?" I ramble on, not giving him a chance to speak. "Even if you don't care for them anymore." The pearls are cold against my skin, and he stares at them and stiffens. I see his eyes waver for a moment, the look of uncertainty leaves before I can even be sure it came.

"There is someone, and they do affect how our lives are going to go on." Tobias says, his voice strained, and his eyes averting mine. "But I promise you I will never let her come between us. I love you Tris." He finishes, gaging my reaction and finally looking me in the eyes. I stare, for a few seconds, drowning in the deep dark sea of his eyes, but finally surface from the choppy water. "Thank you. I needed to know." I say, hugging him to me. But that hand that rested on the pearls is wrenched away as if by some invisible force. So it's true.

Once we get in the pit, our thoughts are left behind us. It's truly breath taking, all the walls covered in close knit nets of fairy lights, everywhere you looking makes you feel like you're looking into the night sky. Hidden stereos play a song I don't recognize by All Time Low, but I can tell it's them from the constant playing of their music at any event. Tobias grabs my waist and I stop. "What do you think you're doing?" I ask, terrified of his answer. He pulls me into the crowd, twirling me here and there as we go. "Well, Tris. I've decided to torture you one last time tonight." He says, finally stopping and pulling me into him. All around us couples brace each other, singles look for each others and Dauntless is just one big mess of superficial love problems. For now.

For what felt like hours, Tobias and I swayed back and forth, twisting turning and making sure to get near the food tables at least every half hour. Christina had found us by nine, tears in her eyes, and dragged us off to go get pictures taken and meet people. We had grabbed a cupcake each, and as we walked back to our little hallway that we walked through to get here, Tobias mutters in my ear, in such a low tone I can barely hear him. "We're being followed." Without moving my head, I scan the surrounding area. We come to a halt when a man covered in tattoos and piercings blocks our way out to the railing looking over the chasm. "Max. What's going on?" Tobias asks, no panic or fear in his voice, but anger. He must know the man, Max, from work or the training room, but I can tell Max is just another Dauntless, ready to accept whatever danger he can.

"Sorry Four, but it's an order." Max says, no remorse in his tone. Five more men appear of nowhere, Max and three others go after Tobias, and two of the bigger ones grab me. Before my attackers can get a tight grip on me, I step back. It's like I'm initiation all over again, I have to weigh my weaknesses against their strengths. They're much bigger than me, easily twice my size each, but their steps are heavy and undecided. I can feel the ghost of Tobias's hand on my abdomen, his voice in my ear "you're quick, and if you can get a good punch in first, you can win." I first aim for the smaller of the two, who had gotten the closest to me and I could now feel his warm breath wash over me, sickeningly sweet like cough syrup. He can't dodge my punch in time, so when I make contact with his throat, he doubles over. I kick him in the back of his shaved head while I have that vulnerability, the spikes on my heels leaving red marks of blood.

So maybe Christina is kinda smart.

I hear grunts of pain from across the hall, none of them being Tobias's. "You ok?"he shouts, out of my view. "Peachy!" I yell, just as my next attacker charges me. I try to move to the side, but I step on the edge of my dress, tripping and tearing the slit even higher, and landing on my stomach. I roll, narrowly missing his boot coming flying right for my stomach, but I'm not fast enough to dodge his hand grabbing me by the neck. He slams my into the wall face first, and I feel a cut appear on my lower lip, the warm metallic taste of blood feathers my tongue. I wipe at my mouth, as he holds me against the wall, feeling me down for weapons. "What's the matter little girl? Forgot you can't fight back? Too small aren't we."

"That was a bad move man" I hear Tobias say behind me as he wrenches the man off of me, taking us both by surprise. I stumble, but quickly regain my balance, my attacker, not so lucky. He sits on the ground, dazed looking, blood running from the side of his bruised face. In true dauntless fashion, he mumbles "oh yeah Four? Why would that be?" Before Tobias can say anything, I step towards them. "Because you smudged my makeup," I say, slamming my fist into the side of his head. He crumples to the ground.

We walk hand in hand to the chasm, neither of us able to form sentences. If it weren't for Tobias standing right next, to me pulling me along, I think I would collapse. Finally, we reach the railing and Tobias pulls me into him, locking me into the cage of his arms. "Are you ok?" he questions, murmuring it into the top of my hair. Grabbing my arms, he holds me at arms length and starts prodding at my lip. His eyes narrow and his lips purse as the do when he worries. I slap his hand away. "Stop it, I'm fine," I reassure him, grabbing his hand and giving it a tight squeeze. "What was that about?" I ask. Remembering the look on Max's face sends chills down my spine, Tobias must have noticed because he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders.

"I don't know. The fourth guy I had, begged for mercy, saying they were there to issue a warning to us, but I saw you get slammed against the wall so I just knocked him out and went to you," Tobias says, looking over at the rocks below us. His chest rises and falls once, then he looks down at our feet. "He said we have to make ourselves believe we aren't what we are. Or else." He looks up, ready to study my reaction. I purse my lips and stare off into the distance. Or else. I don't think I can afford an "or else" right now.

I can't handle this right now. So I take a huge breath in and shake my head, as if I could rid myself of the memory. "We're not going to deal with this right now. We have all day tomorrow, we can talk about it then. But for now, we're both rushed up on adrenaline from some random fight, and I can think of something that might help us... Use up all that energy." I whisper the last part, leaning in and playing with his shirt collar, attempting my best to peer up from under my eyelashes and look sultry. He stiffens, but I ignore it, and hand him back his jacket. His hand in mine, we start our way back to his place.

**I know, I know, I know. YA'LL WANT THEM TO SEX RIGHT NOW. I do too. Let me tell you though, once they start, it happens almost every third chapter. Can't wait for you guys to read it! Thank you for all the support!**

**D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone! So we're almost at 100 reviews, but the big thing: 20 000 views! woohoo! So I'm updating because of that, and also because someone threatened to deprive me of soup... not cool man, Thank you for your awesome reviews and all the support. I seriously love you guys. I had a few people message me asking me to write a funny little journal on what I think about while I'm writing, so thou guys could kinda watch how the plot is developing in my brain before you read it. I'm happy to do so, but let me know. On another note, I'm still looking for some fan art to put up as the display pic, let me know if you're interested. Love you guys! Thanks to my editor b. loves. books and thebigdog2895, go check them out!**

**I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy.**

* * *

They say that it's always darkest before dawn, but did they ever stop to think that may just be in comparison? Every time something hurts in life, even if it hurts from physical or emotional pain, we usually seem to find a way to make up for it with joy or comfort. But if that effort we put in doesn't match strength of the pain, it feels far more real and present because of the jumps in your mind's spectrum.

Tobias's hand hold mine as we walk through the corridors, the cold hand- carved stone seems to glow with tonight's magical feel, each new path looking more inviting than the next. Somehow we had been able to forget the fear of tonight's attack, both of us obviously consumed in speeding trains of thought. "Tris?" He says, breaking the pensive silence. He sounds nervous, but still we walk on, through the twists and turns only a dauntless could navigate their way through back to their home. "Yeah?" Is all I can seem to think of, but its sound rings silent compared to each click of my heels against the stone. "Do you mind if we talk?" He says as he turns us towards one one of the many natural little alcoves that appear randomly in the corridors, this one just big enough for the two of us. In the faint shadows cast by the little light above us, he looks as worried as he sounds, his crimson tie the only colour on him other than his deep blue velvet eyes. I scooch up on the little ledge in here, so I can be at his eye level, then rest my elbows on his shoulders, and I let my arms hold his neck. My arms are close to his right before my eyes show a huge contrast in size. We're so close, but there is still enough room for him to speak. I look at him expectantly and he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Alright.. I love you. More than anything. You're the only reason I have to get up in the morning, the only thing keeping me sane. Tris I love you more than you will ever know." He pauses and I lean in and kiss him, but to my suprise, he rests his hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me back. I sit on the ledge confused, but still silent. "I love you," he looks me deep in the eyes "but we're not going to have sex tonight." He sighs. "Tobias what the hell?" He clamps a hand over my mouth, "hey, quiet, I'm not done." I roll my eyes in response. He takes his hand from my mouth and holds my hands in his. "I know we would be doing it for the right reasons, we love each other and are ready. But a lot happened tonight, and we have some things to think about. We both don't have a clue as to what to expect and I don't want to burden you with this, before you're more comfortable. We can even wait as long as we want."

With that he drops my hands placing them on my hips and kisses me, his mouth hot on mine. This time it's me to push him away and surprise him. "Tobias, you think just because I'm me it's going to suck? No clue what to expect? I'm sorry I'm not exactly like Lauren. It's not my fault I'm not pretty, or experienced or graceful, but you choose now to bring it up? What the uck?" I manage to get this all out before the first tear rolls down my cheek. I turn away before he can see it and hop off the ledge. He reaches for me but I run before he can grab me. I have a few seconds to run before he catches up on me. Even out of these heels I wouldn't be able to outrun him. Those few seconds are enough for me to let the tears flow frealy though, and when he reaches me, he looks more confused than I've ever seen him before.

"Tris stop.. Stop." He's holding me by the arms as silent sobs shake my whole body. I look up at him and try to muster the most annoyed face I can right now. "Lauren told me about your... history," I say, trying to look him in the eyes, but I give up and stare at his feet. He drops my arms and hangs his limp by his sides. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I look up at him, and he truly looks confused. "Lauren told me that you guys have slept together before." He looks repulsed then even more dumbfounded than before. "Lauren.. Lauren? Lauren and I got drunk at our first dauntless party and she tried to make out with me, so I politely refused and suggested she go after Eric. We haven't had a friendly conversation since." I stare at him, and with one look I can tell he's telling the truth. They didn't sleep together. Tobias did not have sex with Lauren. "That bitch!" Is the only thing that comes out of me. "That fucking bitch. This whole night all I could think of was how I'm not even going to compare to any of the girls you've been with, ESPECIALLY not Lauren! That's the whole reason I was acting so weird tonight! I was totally ready and then... She told me about all these positions you guys did..." I drift off once I realize what I'm saying and turn as red as my clutch. Tobias just starts laughing and kisses me. Not hungry like earlier night, but just happy and warm. He pulls free gasping for air and we walk back to his place, talking about stupid things, like how hard heels are to walk in and the concept of fear.

"Something stuck in my mind from your little Lauren rant back there... You said something about all the girls I've been with..." I look up awkwardly shaking my head. "Tobias, I didn't mean to call you some sort of man whore or something, you know I don't think that. But look at you. I'm making omelettes for breakfast tomorrow and I will be grating the cheese on your abs." He chuckles, but I can tell he's keeping something back. "No, Tris, it's not that. I've never... No... Done..." He stops and rubs the back of his head, looking down at his feet, which he twitches around nervously. "Tris I'm a virgin." it takes me a second to process this. Oh. I look up at him and being the genius I am, blurt out, "Are you sure?" He starts laughing at me and I join in. "Ohhhh. So is that what you meant when.. Ohhhhh," he rolls his eyes. "Yeah."

We laugh for a little while longer as we walk until we finally get to his door. He looks away for a second and reaches for his keys. But before he can slide it into the lock I grab them and run, giggling. When was the last time we had a good game of chase? "Tris!" He yells as he jogs behind me I run and run as the corridors twist this way and that. Finally ducking into an alcove, I see him jog past, a huge grin plastered on his face. I tip toe back towards his place but accidentally step too loudly and the loud "clack" of my heel against the stone gives me away. I see him come around the corner and I turn to run. I take a step but unfortunately the mixture of heels and dress do not comply, and I'm sent crashing forwards. I laugh and cry out ready to brace myself, but before the familiar thud of my body hitting ground can happen, I feel his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me into him. Somehow he turned my fall into what looked like a graceful dance dip and turn.

My head is against his chest as I breath hard. Lips kiss the top of my head and when I look up I see him smiling down at me. "You caught me," I exhale as I continue to catch my breath, " Always" he mumbles before swiping the keys out of my hand and, in one swift movement, shoves them in his pocket and lifts me up so our lips press together.

**What do we think? Let me know you're out there by leaving a review, favourite and follow to get updates!**

**D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi guys so this is the LAST CHAPTER BEFORE THEY GET IT ON! Gah! I cant wait! ok, so this chapter is mostly just fluff, but please enjoy. Thank you for all of those that reviewed, as well as my amazing editors thebigdog2895 and b. loves. books. I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy.**

The joy from our little game was still there as we laugh and kiss at the same time. He has his hands on my hips and my arms take most of my weight on his shoulders, keeping me off the ground. Little pecks continue but I want more. I loop my legs around his hips, rendered easy by the new deep slit in the side. He's tentative at first but when I lace my fingers into his hair and pull him so close to me that he has no room to move out for little pecs, he seems to get the idea. He loops one of his arms under me to kind of sit on, the other pressing me into him and supporting my back. His tongue is hot in my mouth, tracing one cheek and then the other all while running his hand along my back and moan my name. I give him a bit of breathing room but twist my legs to steer him. With our mouths still pressed together, he gets the message and pushes me up against the wall, giving his hand which supported my back a license to roam my legs freely. As any guy would, he chose the leg left exposed by the slit.

He starts below my knee slowly rubbing higher and higher until I grab his hand and put it on my ass. He seemed kind of surprised but in no way objected, gently rubbing and exploring the new territory. My hands move and hold his chin in, I can feel his stubble appearing now that it's late. My mouth travels from his and kisses its way down to right under his jaw. "Hey Tobias" *kiss* "Yeah Tris," he breathes out as I pull his head back for access to more of his skin. "You wanna " *kiss* "know" *kiss* " something?" He exhales his warm breath, going down my neck, sending chills up my spine, and to other places chills had never touched before. "Sure Love. Tell me something." I put one hand behind me, pushing off the wall to turn him around. He turns and I let go, landing perfectly on my feet, the dauntless way. I study him as he catches his breath.

He looks happy, but he definitely knows that the evenings events have been enough for me. He thinks I'm leading him into the house so we can change facing away from each other, so I can cuddle up to him once I know he is close to asleep. His eyes slowly look me up and down, his mouth curling into a smile when he looks at my chest. Boys. But when I grab both his hands and walk backwards leading us toward his place, he seems confused. Normally, when make out sessions get too much for me, I stop all contact for at least an hour. I keep pulling him until, when I'm against his door, he goes from confused to dumbfounded. "Well love. A lot has changed recently. Wouldn't you agree?" I say, trying to be as nonchalant as I can, peering up through my eyelashes. He raises an eyebrow but when I don't go on but keep on slowly pulling him towards me he replies,"I guess you could say that." I take a deep breath, trying to be as sexy as I can "Well it just came to my attention that nothing, not one itsy bitsy thing has changed today. And for people so unstable and different as us, I think consistency is verrrry important." I've pulled him so he stands just a few inches from me, but drop his hands.

Placing one finger at the base of his neck, I start to drag it downward as I speak. "Well, I had an idea for something to change. Actually two things." I'm past his pecs now, slowly trailing down. "And what would those be Tris?" He seems intrigued. "Well babe. I'm a virgin. And your a virgin. And I think if we put our head together, and the rest of us for that matter, we might just be able to kill two birds with one stone." I feel his strong stomach as I pass it and reach into his pocket. Careful to linger in there and do a little bit more "searching" than necessary, I finally pluck the keys out and turn around, unlocking the door and walking through. He looks up, his face changes from restraint to lust and back again. "Tris, just because you're dauntless doesn't mean it's easy to face your fears. We don't need to do this now." He slowly walks into the room, closing the door behind him, flicking on lights as he goes. I walk backwards facing him, matching his pace. He takes a step forward, I take one back. I'm careful to slow them so he's a mere few feet from me when the back of my legs hit the bed and I sit, crossing my legs to make sure I optimize the slit in this dress. Reaching for his tie , I play with it for a minute, contemplating. Finally I speak "Well then. It's a good thing I'm not Dauntless." He cocks his head to one side for a moment and I pull him into me, slamming us both onto the bed. He lies on top of me hovering, taking all his own weight on his arms, which cradle my face. I pec him on the lips before smiling "I'm Divergent."

My mouth is hot on his, pulling him in and cupping his face with my hands. God I love this man. And the most amazing part of all this... He love me. I smile to myself and he stirs from me for a moment. "Tris if you're not ready or want to stop you promise to say something and we can stop and just go for a run or something?" I laugh into his mouth. But he waits so I nod and keep going. He relaxes and runs a hand down the side of my body, cupping my a** and pressing me into him. I arch my back from the pressure of his hand at the base of my spine, closing what little spacewe had between us. He traces my body, the warm, smooth, and steady pressure making me flush, so when he pulls my head back ever so slightly, trailing kisses down my neck, I writhe with lust.

**Thanks for reading! The more reviews I get the more often I update, so keep them coming!**

**D**


	16. Chapter 16

**Screw a blurb: here's what you've been waiting for. (I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy, thanks to my editors thebigdog2895 and b. loves. books. Rated MA)**

His tracing continues, starting at my lips, followed by my neck. His mouth is back on mine, easing it open and tracing the inside of my mouth with his tongue while his fingers outline each of my ravens. His hand continues down, slowly and cautiously, but my heart still drums far too fast when his hand grazes over my breasts. "Tris are you ok?" he asks sitting up. "Let's stop, we can go back to the ball or grab a bite or-" but I don't let him finish. I pull him back down and kiss him more passionately than ever before. "Shut up and take your clothes off." I whisper into his mouth, causing him to rock the bed with laughter. I pull on his jacket until he shrugs out of it.

With every moment ticking by, I feel the omnipresent pressure of what I'm doing. With every new millimeter of skin explored, I feel as if liquid nitrogen has been poured into my veins. But there's also a fight. A battle I never knew I could stand a chance against, but with Tobias, the icy spindles that have formed slowly melt away, a gentle flame building up and coursing through me. Waves of ice start to drown me, but I'm pulled out of my fear by the steady need I feel. "Tobias," I whisper into his lips. "I'm ready." He looks up and meets my eyes, his gaze clouded by hot and heavy lust, but he studies me, watching for any sign of fear. "We really don't have to, you know that right?" He asks, completely serious. "I know. But I want to."

He smiles, then brings his mouth back to mine. A shock of ice travels through my veins from the sudden contact, so I decide to do something less consuming, and just wait for the fire to melt it away. I decide I would work on his tie because I have no idea how to undo it. My fingers fiddle with the knot, his lacing into my hair. By the time I've figured it out, my fear has melted away and I'm filled with want. I wrap my arms around his neck, but he freezes. "Shit! I don't have a condom!" He sighs into my mouth, raising himself up and off of me. "Oh god, that reminds me..." I say, reaching into the top of my dress. "No Tris, keep your clothes on." He warns me, his hand raised in caution. I ignore him and pull out the knife that's in my bra, he stares, confused and mouth hanging open slightly. "Wouldn't want this bad boy accidentally killing one of us now would we?" I laugh, dropping it onto the ground and pulling out the other. His eyebrows furrow, his mouth is parted, and he's slumped against the bed.

"I'll explain later. And don't worry about protection, Christina gave me this injection that takes care of everything." He still looks a bit confused, but I can see that excitement is creeping its way into his mind. I kick off my shoes and pull the pin that holds my hair in its place, letting the strands float down around me. Finally, he pulls me on top of him, and I lean my face over his, my hair curtaining us off from the rest of the world. "I love you Tobias Eaton," I murmur while I trace his lips with my finger. "I love you Beatrice Prior," he says, pulling me into him. The moment the word left his lips, a new feeling rushed through me. It wasn't the heat and fire of lust, but rather an indescribable warmness. It spread first through my toes and tips of my fingers, then worked its way up into my core. I knew that the icy fear would never be back.

Tobias seems to feel the change in me, letting me straddle him and press my lips to his more furiously, desire being my only thought. I trace my fingers down from his face, and start undoing the buttons on his shirt. He shrugs it off when I'm done, and I marvel at him. He's slightly tanned, not a hair in sight, and each and every muscle is perfectly well defined. I sigh, and he pull me back down. "What?" He laughs, kissing my neck. "Its just not fair. You look like you're photoshopped for Christ's sake." He laughs, tickling me, but sending warm air down my neck.

I lead his hands up to the zipper at the side of my dress, while our lips dance together, perfectly choreographed. He slides the zipper down, slowly, and I feel the cool air on my newly exposed skin. He take his time sliding the fabric off of me, carefully watching any sort of reaction from me. Finally, when the dress lies pooled on the ground, he holds my waist gently, pushing me up so he can stare at me. I flush, all over, which happens to be exposed now. I look down, letting my fingers tie themselves into knots, hoping he won't be too disappointed with what he sees.

"Tris... You're..." his train of thought derails as he gazes around my body. I'm only wearing the black bra and underwear Christina had given me. "Don't say it. I already know." I whisper into my chest. His finger lightly brushes under my chin, and slowly pulls my eyes to his. "Tris. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. You're absolutely perfect," he says, tracing the little curves I do have with his other hand. I exhale, a giant weight wrenched out from within me. I smile, and let myself breathe him in, lying back down on him. We kiss, letting our tongues intertwine and explore the new territory on each other. I undo his belt and slid off his pants.

He wears tight grey boxer , and I can see his erection pushing against the fabric. I let him undo the clasp on my bra, and I let it fall away. He brings his hands up and touches my bare chest. His hands slowly circle my nipples, then he slowly rolls them between his fingers. I let out a shaky moan into his mouth, feeling my lower abs clench in a most delicious way. I delicately remove the string of pearls around my neck, breaking the kiss for a moment to place them on the bedside table. I don't think he even noticed.

Suddenly, he flips me over, so he's on top of me. I start to pull on his boxers and he slides off my last bit of fabric between us. Finally I find the waist band and pull, his erection springing free. Oh my god it's huge. There's no way in hell that I could fit that all inside me, but driven with need, I kiss him tighter. "Are you ready?" He pants, worry in his voice. I nod, scared, but not fearful. Anticipating. He positions himself without taking his lips off mine, and finally, he slowly thrusts in.

There's a pinching sensation, like when you stretch too hard, but that passes within seconds. He slides in inch by inch, filling me. I moan into his mouth, fingers tangled in his hair. "Tris," he moans. I take every single inch of him, my legs spread wider than I thought possible for me. The feeling of complete fullness is new to me, but it sets the fire off again, filling me with passion. He gives me a moment to get comfortable, kissing me and breathing heavily. As slow as he can, he starts to pull out, almost completely empty again, I crave him, and pull him into me. He starts to thrust, meeting my hips with his, and my hips grind to the same rhythm, all on their own accord.

Each thrust fills me up as out bodies glide against one another. He kisses every bit of skin he can. My muscles start to strain, and my breath comes in quick little bursts. "Tobiassss," I moan into his neck, inhaling his scent. My toes curl and I wrap my legs around him. I can tell he's close, but holding back for me. All of a sudden, I cry out, flooded with sensations. It's like every single nerve ending on me is being pricked with the edge of a pin. Tobias thrust one last time into me, letting go, and as if it were possible, I feel even fuller. He collapses on top of me, barely taking any of his own weight. We just lie there, staring into each other's eyes, foreheads pressed together.

"I love you"

**Well? What did you think. I've written two more sex scenes later on in the story so far, so keep those lovely reviews coming to get to them faster! Love you guys!**

**D**


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry it's so short, I just didn't want to put this in the last chapter, or the next one, but hey, it's an update non the less, so that kinda worth something... right? Love you guys to the moon and back, please let me know what you think, R&R.**

**Huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2895, I do not own any rights associated with the Divergent Trilogy, Rated MA**

**D**

Our breathing begins to slow, and Tobias rolls over onto his back to lie beside me, and we both just stare up at the ceiling. "That was..." he starts, but it seems he is at a loss for words. I nod my head, completely agreeing. "Yeah," I mutter, being the genius I am. Finally able to breath normally, I stand and grab a T-shirt from his dresser, shrugging it on. I toss a pair of sweat pants over to him, and then go sit down next to him. I may have conquered my fear of intimacy, but I still don't want him to see me nakedall the time, I'm not exactly beautiful.

He slides the pants on, and pulls me into his lap. "Question. How come I have to walk around shirtless but you get to cover up?" He asks, a smile spread across his face. He looks younger, more carefree. He looks happy. "Well once I get abs like yours, I'll be walking around naked, but until then, want some dinner?" I reply, kissing him on the nose.

**Ok, so since this is such a short chapter, I figured I could have a long ending burb:**

**You guys seriously don't understand how much all your support means to me. I've been struggling with a pretty bad depression for a while now, things started to get really bad. My mom made me go out with her and watch the new Divergent movie, knowing I had read the books, and it made me remember my love for reading, and consequently, writing. Memories of stories I had crafted up in my head in a better time in my life came flooding back to me, so I came home and wrote the first chapter. Finally, I was able to force myself to post it here, and the results were amazing. Every single view, review and favorite just reminds me that there are people out there who actually think I can do something. You guys saved me, so please, reach out to yourself and force yourself to do one thing that sares you that you've always wanted to do. I'm not all better yet, but hey, who is? Thanks guys.**

**D**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi guys! First of all, thank you all for your lovely messages and comments about my last blurb. To those of you going through a rough time, let me know! I'm always happy to talk. So in this chapter we finally get into some main plot development. I'm thinking that at the point we're at in the story and where we are in the plot, I might actually split them into 2 stories (who knows, maybe even a series if you guys keep reading.) Enjoy, Huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2895 I do not own anyrights to the divergent trilogy, rated MA**

**D**

(Tobias)

Tris is nuzzled into my chest, her breaths deep, and even in her sleep, I can see that faint trace of a smile on her lips. We had eaten a quick dinner and watched a light movie, but around 1 in the morning, she started yawning and rubbing her eyes. The clock read 2:16 right now, but I'm not tired, I could sit and watch her for days on end. Everything about her is a work of art. The way her skin is perfectly smooth, and pale, not yet damaged from the sun, but dotted by little scars from the past, glowing slightly white against her complexion. The way her little nose curves slightly to the right from one of the punches thrown in her initiation, only noticeable when you're face is almost pressed against hers. The way her lips purse just a little bit, parted just slightly, when she sleeps. She's perfect. And she's mine.

A gentle knock on the door snaps me from my thoughts. Who would be knocking on our door at 2 in the morning? Just when I was convince I imagined it, it comes again. Three gentle knocks, muted by the thick door. I slide out from under Tris, resting her head on the pillow. She stirs a little bit, mumbling my name, but goes straight back to sleep. I pad quickly and quietly over to the door, sliding it open and slipping outside, shutting the door as quietly as I can behind me. A woman dressed in dauntless gear steps back, as to not be too close to me, but still standing near enough that I know she was looking for me. Her eyes find mine, and something familiar flashes in them. Her breath seems to stop for a moment. "Tobias?" she asks, gazing at me with a somewhat choked expression.

"Is Beatrice inside?" She motions to the door. I clear my throat, and realize I'm shirtless, but decide to ignore it. "My name is Four. Tris is in there, but she's asleep. What do you want?" I ask. I notice the woman has no visible tattoos or piercings, but she definitely is dauntless, I can tell by her stance and muscle definition. I just don't recognize her. She pries her eyes away from the door, and looks at me pleadingly. "Please, I must talk to you, but we can't out here." Her eyes glisten with determination and her expression is sincere. I don't know what it is, but I see something so familiar in her, I can't help but trust her. "Alright. Follow me, and don't make any noise. If this is some sort of attack I warn you that you have no chance against me, even if you are armed."

She smiles at this, but nods her head in agreement. I open the door and motion for her to follow me. She does as instructed, barely making a noise when she closes the door and locks it behind her. We walk past the bed, and I see the woman stare at Tris and freeze. I clear my throat and she smiles apologetically, then follows me into the kitchen. Just as I close the door behind her, I see her wipe a tear from her face, but I pretend not to have noticed.

"Have a seat, can I get you something to eat or-" "Don't bother with small talk with me To- sorry Four. I know about you. I know about Beatrice. Both of you are not safe," she says, gauging my reaction. "What do you mean she isn't safe?" is all I can ask. A strange woman knocks on my door at 2am, sits in my kitchen, knows my name and is now telling me Tris isn't safe? Something's up.

"I know what you are. And they're killing people like us ," she says, rushing on. "We need to stop them. The warning you got tonight won't be the first, but it will be the least serious. This is bigger than just you me and Beatrice." She finishes, resting her hand on my arm. There is something so familiar about her, like I know her but can't remember her name, even the way she places her hand reminds me of something, but I just can't remember what. "What do you mean people like us? And how do you know about the attack? Who's killing who?" I ask, slamming my hand on the counter.

She grabs my arm and wrenches it off the counter, surprisingly strong for her size. She holds a finger to her lips then points to the door. "I know you're Divergent. And I know Beatrice is too. I don't know who, and I don't know why, but they will be sure to kill her. She had the aptitude for three factions. Something completely unheard of. If you want to keep her safe you are going to need to figure out what is going on, I'm under too close of a watch to be any help. Coming here tonight was a huge risk, but I needed to make sure she was safe and you kept her that way."

A million other questions flood my mind, but before I can get any of them out, I hear the kitchen door open. Tris walks in with her hair pulled up into a ponytail, wearing only my tshirt that comes down to just above her knees. "I heard noises coming from in here. You on the phone?" She asks groggily, rubbing her eyes. When she finally pulls her hand away from her eyes, the sleep immediately disappears from her face, and her mouth hangs open, staring at the woman.

"Mom?"

**Hope you like it! R&R**

**D**


	19. Chapter 19

**Woohoo for plot development! So in the spirit of Easter (I don't have a religion, but hey, long weekend!) I've decided to post quite often, probably once a day over the four days I have off of school and work. That alright? Ok, so I hope you guys like this, this chapter and the next really go hand in hand, so if I get alot of reviews I'll post the next one just so you're not left mid thought. Hope you like it R&R.**

**I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilody, Rated MA, huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2896**

**XOXO-D**

(Tris)

The kettle's whistle snaps me back into reality. The chill of the stone kitchen counter presses tingles of ice into the back of my thighs, but I have no will to move. Tobias's gaze mirrors mine, as we keep our eyes trained on the floor of the kitchen, as if seeing every single speck of dust were the most important task at hand. We're simply vacant. Finally, not being able to handle the kettle's scream, I reach over and turn off the flame. "Are you ready? Or do you want me to go in and talk to her first?" Tobias asks me, his eyes following my every movement, as I place a tea bag in each cup and poor the water in. I'm not ready. My mom, shows up in the middle of the night, dressed as a Dauntless, issuing a warning. She hadn't even planned on speaking to me.

"Just grab those two mugs." I try to say, but I don't know if anything comes out of my mouth, but he seems to understand. Initially, when I saw my mom we had hugged, but then I realized if she were here, something was terribly, terribly wrong. I pushed the kitchen door open and sat a steaming mug in from of my mother, who sat at the dinning table. It's crazy really. She had told me she had been in Dauntless on visitors day, but I never could really imagine her being so brave. But now, with her hair down framing her face, a black leather jacket and black pants that cling far too tight to be Abnegation, she looks like a familiar face. So different in every aspect, but it's like she is the embodiment of those spurts of Dauntless I could occasionally catch her in.

Tobias pulls a chair out for me, but I can't sit. My nails dig into the chair back, and I just stare at her. How could I have not known. Finally, I sit, and Tobias sits in the chair next to me. "Beatrice, sorry, Tris. I'm so sorry to have barged in here, I didn't mean to wake you. But I needed to warn you. You're not safe," she says, the same caring tone she alwas kept with me. "Mom, call me Beatrice. Thank you, for coming, but I don't understand... Why? Can you just start from the beginning?" I say, clutching onto Tobias's hand under the table like it's the only thing keeping me anchored to this earth.

"Umm. Alright. The beginning. When I was younger, having grown up in Dauntless, I saw some pretty amazing things, terrifying, brave and sometimes reckless, but always amazing. But there were always people that would stick out to me. People who would never cross the line over bravery into recklessness. They also seemed to be able to pull less Dauntless-like actions, some being interested in the science of bravery, others in how to help others through their bravery. Those people would thrive in our society, becoming leaders, making huge decisions. But always, some way or another, these people would just disappear. Their deaths were only mourned by those close to them, and within a few days time, it was as if they had never existed at all.

"So when it came time for my aptitude test, I was told, as I'm sure both of you were, that I was inconclusive. Divergent. I chose abnegation, knowing it would be safest, but still, I kept coming here and watching the same thing happen to new remarkable people. Eventually I was able to connect the dots between Divergency and the disappearances. But people started to notice my curiosity with Dauntless, and I'm still under careful watch. Of who, I don't know. Then I watched you grow up, Beatrice, and noticed the exact same traits that I had displayed, even more so. When you chose Dauntless, I had to do something. When I told you to research the simulation serum, I was hoping you would draw the same suspicions as I did. But there was very little chance of that happening. There is someone out there, monitoring the simulations. Someone other than the Erudite. They're killing off the Divergents, and I don't know why. All I know is that you are not safe. When they attacked you tonight, I was praying you would get away. I'm so glad you did." She finishes, tears brimming her eyes.

Tobias looks as amazed as I do, no fear in his expression. Finally, he clears his throat. "Um, Mrs. Prior, how did you know we were attacked tonight?" He asks politely. She rolls her eyes the way only dauntless do. "Call me Natalie. I knew there would be a ball tonight, so I snuck out, figuring that it was an easy night for an attack. I saw you guys walk away, from the top of the pit where I was watching, then I saw those men follow you. By the time I got there, they were all lying unconscious. So I plucked all of their IDs and went back home. I wouldn't have come back if I hadn't needed to. The men who had followed you, they all transferred from abnegation, but I didn't recognize a single one of them. I had to warn you, once I realized we were dealing with more than just some sort of gang."

for what feels like ages, we're met only with the sounds of the ticking clock, not a movement at the table, as we attempt to wrap our heads around the situation. I'm Divergent. There's someone hunting me and Tobias.

And I'm not going to die.

**Thanks for all the amazing support, love you guys!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi guys, sorry I'm not posting this until now (it's 9am where I am), my animals decided it would be hilarious to prance around my apartment then keep jumping on me until I would cuddle them... At 2am. I would like to thank all of you for reading my story, I got to 40 000 views yesterday! If I get a lot of reviews and views today I might just update twice today. Happy Easter! Hope you enjoy it! R&R**

**I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilody, Rated MA, huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2896**

**XOXO-D**

The mugs sit on the table, the tea inside them untouched and cold. The reality of situation is washing over us like waves, drowning us with nothing to anchor ourselves to.

"Mom, what do you want us to do? I mean, what can we do?" I ask, worry creeping into my voice. If Tobias is in danger, I need to fix this. "I wish I could help somehow, but they have such a strong tail on me already that if they would know we know about them. They would kill us without a second thought. You're going to have to figure out what's going on, but you have a long time. If tonight was your first attack, they don't start getting serious for about a year or two. They won't attack you again, but they will be watching to make sure you don't suspect them. Even if they d-" She stops. Her face becomes even more serious, each minuscule line on her face becoming more pronounced. No this is an emotion my mom has never shown me. This is anger

"Beatrice. A word in the kitchen?" She commands, standing abruptly and not waiting to see if I will follow. Tobias looks at me questioningly, but I just shrug. I swing the door open. "Mom, what's u-" but before I can finish my worried sentence, my mom spins to face me, slamming her open palm on the counter. "Why in the world are you half naked in some strangers apartment? Sleeping in his bed? Have you forgotten all your morals? All your father and-" she starts to yell but I cut her off, seeing that this is going to be a type conversation my mother and I had never shared. "Mom I love him." I say, looking down at my hands.

I'm met with silence. I look up and her fingers are pinching the bridge of her nose, her eyes shut and I can tell she is trying to control her breathing. When she opens her eyes, the same kindness is back in them, but there is a harshness to her tone as there has been this whole night. "Beatrice, you're a teenager, and he's a man. It's just raging hormones that tell you this is alright. Please, think about what you are doing." She whispers, pain creeping into the last few words.

I reach out and hold her hand in mine, just as I did when I was little, just as I did the day I left her. "Mom. He's 2 years older than me. Being through what he has been forced through has aged him, but that's what will have to, actually is happening to me. I promise you to isn't some raging hormone teenage craze like we hear the other Dauntless and Amity talk about. I um, I actually... Didn't really want to I guess you could say." I say, trying to avoid telling her about my fear.

She throws my hand to the side, with much more force than I realize, and I see rage course through her face, the lower illuminating beauty I had never seen through her. "He made you?" She whispers, each word echoing off the walls, a lethal expression changing her face. She starts towards the door, but I grab her, not realizing the strength she held. "No no no. Mom calm down. He didn't make me. Stop please please. Listen." I hold her back, guarding the door before she goes out and kills Tobias. I pant, hands on my knees as she steps back, "on my landscape. My fear landscape. Intimacy was one of them. I only had 7 fears. But when I fell in love, it became a different fear, something that I wanted to conquer. I wasn't dauntless anymore. I was divergent." She immediately softens, pulling me into her arms and wiping the tears that I didn't realize had fallen onto my cheeks.

"You're even stronger than I realized." She mumbles into my hair. Once both of us have a moment to calm down, we step back into the main room. Her eyes scan the room and she finds the clock. Seeing the time makes her stiffen, and pull me into her, one last embrace. "I love you Beatrice. I'm so sorry, but I needed you safe." And without a chance for me to even hug her back, she's left and the front door is hanging wide open.

After hours of analyzing, Tobias and I finally lie in bed, tangled in each other's arms. "We're going to have to keep living normally" he says, holding me against him. I nod against his shoulder. "Promise me you won't die?" He mumbles into the top of my hair. "As long as your heart is still beating." I whisper before my eyes grow to heavy to bear and I let sleep take over.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hello everyone! i hope you enjoyed that last chapter, I can't wait for you guys to actually know the plot! Thank you for all the amazing reviews, they're what keep me going. Again, if I get loads of reviews today then maybe I'll post again later tonight (the next chapter is a lemon I do believe...). Love you guys. Huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2895 . I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy rated MA**

"You're going to break skin if you don't let me tape you up." Tobias murmurs in my ear, taking me by surprise. I step back from the punching bag and look at him, wiping the sweat off my forehead. I had dragged him up here the moment we woke up, begging him to help me get stronger. "Does it really look like I care right now?" I growl, waving a hand in front of my body. My hair was pulled up into a disordered ponytail, and I wore a black tank top, which was now drenched in sweat, grey sweat shorts, the only thing covering my feet was my ankle tape.

"Take a break Tris. You haven't even eaten anything all day!" he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "Taking a break won't make me stronger! You don't get it. People prey on me because it's easy, and I can't have you always swooping in and saving me. I'm tired of being a little girl!" I yell. There's no one around to turn and stare at us, they're all probably out having a pre-party before tonight. "So you're just going to keeping going?" he asks. I shake my head yes then turn back to the punching bag, but before I can swing, Tobias is scooping me up over his shoulder.

"Tobias!" I squeal, wriggling and trying to break free. He ignores me and just keeps on walking. Finally, he throws me off of him, sending me onto a mat straight to my back. I roll out of it, landing in a crouch. "Ok, then hit me," he says, as if it were obvious. "I'm not kidding Tobias. Nobody looks at you with pity every time they hear you've been in a fight, you're not helpless," I say, getting to my feet, and walking past him. He grabs my shoulder and pushes me to the mat, not holding back. The wind is knocked out of me, but I'm fine, so I crawl to my feet and just stare at him.

"And neither are you. So let me show you what it's like to fight someone who actually knows what they're doing. Hit me," he says, still as if there was nothing weird about fighting someone you love more than anything. "Tris. You're different than the rest. They might not know that but you do. Just because you have to hide it don't let that fear shut you down. Thrive off of it like you used to. The Tris I know isn't going to stay in here every single moment of the day throwing the same punches," he finishes, frustration causing him to yell out."I'm not ready to watch you get hurt," he whispers, pain creeping into his tone.

I don't want him to feel like he needs to protect me, or that I'm going to get hurt, so I do what I should. I lunge at him. He obviously hadn't expected that amount of force from me, because he's knocked right to his back. I immediately feel awful, and go to lend him a hand up. "Tobias, I'm so sorry! I guess I've gotten stronger sinc-" but before I can reach my hand out to his, he's turned around and knocked me off my feet with a leg of his. I land on my stomach but brace my fall, spinning onto my back right before he can grab me. Him reaching down gives me a split second of opening, so I jump on his back and pull his arms over me, doing a little summersault and pinning him to the ground. He struggles momentarily before flipping me over, grabbing my arms and pulling them up, and one knee on either side of my hips. He leans down, menacingly, but instead of murmuring a threat like an attacker would, he kisses me.

It's a light kiss, his lips are warm against mine but I feel his already heavy breathing quicken. I arch my back and grind my hips against his, causing him to moan into my mouth and me smile into his. In his moment of distraction, I twist my left leg with his, and jerking him off me,so he lies on his back and make a run for it. I should have realized this was a stupid mood because his hand reaches out and wraps around my ankle. I slam into the mat and he pins me. "Don't make it so easy for me to see your next move. I could tell you were going to run the second you got to your feet." he mumbles, staring at my face, checking to make sure he didn't hurt me.

"If you guys could not jump each other's bones where I work out, that would be great." I recognize Zeke's voice, not being able to turn my head and see who had come in. I guess we must have been so into the fight to hear the door open. Tobias keeps me pinned but twists his head. "Sorry, I was just practicing my domestic violence skills." Zeke and I scoff at this, knowing Tobias all too well. Tobias stands up and pulls me with him, but doesn't drop my hand once were face to face with Zeke. "What's up?" I ask, seeing as he's obviously not here to train, wearing jeans, a nice shirt and a jacket. "Well we were all out having lunch up top, you guys should seriously come up. But then Eric came over, actually wheeled over, he's covered in tons of casts and is in a wheel chair right now. Some dude must have finally had enough. Anyways, he asked me if I could give this to you." Zeke says, pulling out a large envelope from inside his jacket and handing it to Tobias.

Tobias looks angry now, but Zeke doesn't notice. "I'm going to head back up. Will I see you guys tonight?" he asks, referring to the party happening on the train. Just as I'm about to say Tobias and I have to stay and train, Tobias interrupts me. "Yeah for sure. See you tonight." Zeke turns away and leaves but not soon enough to miss me smacking Tobias in the back of the head. "We are not going to that party," I scowl. He walks over and tucks the envelope into his bag, then comes back to me. "I am not dealing with a stressed out you every day. We're going to get to the bottom of this, but you heard your mom. We have to watch for them to slip up again, otherwise they'll know we're onto them. For now, you'll wear that sadistic bra of yours and enjoy life. That's final. Besides you need to let off some steam."

He walks over to our bags and bends to pick them up. I decide he's right, but I'm not done training for today. So I run, and jump on his back, taking him by surprise. "You're not running away from a little girl, are you Four?" I whisper into his ear, biting the tip of it as I go. He drops the bag and starts into a run. "Nope, but I am going to kick a little girl's ass!" he laughs, but keeps on running with me on his back. But he's running away from the fighting mats, and instead towards the edge of the floor that meets with the foam pit. It's there so people could practice flinging propel off of them, but people mainly use it to try flips and tricks into it, daring each other to add another rotation and twist each time

Realization of what he's planned dawns on me, and I dig my nails into his shoulders and hide my face in his neck. "I'll kill you," I groan into his ear, but he ignores me. Finally, I feel a jolt as he punches the ground with his feet, and we soar through the air. I close my eyes and hold on to him as tight as I can, not bothering to think about how many times we go upside down and turn side to side. Before we hit the foam, Tobias grabs my waist and twists into me, shielding me with his arms when we land. We're both laughing too hard to remember our fight by the time we've crawled out of the foam, as we lie on the ground clutching our sides and gasping for air. I roll into him and study his face. His eyes glow, and I'm once again pulled into them. They're darkness reminds me of the feeling of bliss when you turn off the lights at night, remembering every good moment in your day, like we did last night.

**What do you guys think? By the way, do we want kore smut or less smut, because I've been leaning towards less smut but I'm happy to keep it... Well... Smutty if that's the main reason you guys like this. Thanks for the support!**

**-D**


	22. Chapter 22

**Ready for some bangity bang? Before you go on and read them get their freak on, I'd like to run something past you guys.. So I've been reading a lot of comments and you all seem to more smut, but I'm actually really into the plot I've created... So how would you feel if I published another story that was only smut? Lemme know. Thanks for your support, as always. Huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2895 . I do not own any rights to the Divergent Trilogy rated MA**

I wrap my arms around his neck, and pull myself closer to him. His face relaxes a little bit, but he still smiles. "I love you Tobias," I say, watching as his smile changes from laughter to love, his mouth closing and his eyes stare at mine. "I love you too," he says. He pulls me to my feet and we walk over to our bags in silence. "And I'm glad you're not a little girl," he states randomly. "Oh yeah and why is that?" I ask, ready for him to jump me and pin me down again. But he takes me by surprise.

His hands wrap around my waist and he pulls my face up to his. He turns me around and presses me against a door, opening my mouth with his. He kisses me gently, but I can feel need creeping into the kiss from both of us. "Because then I couldn't do this," he whispers, twisting the door knob and pushing the door open, still holding me up. He slams the door behind us and locks it, then leans against it. He moves slowly, his hand in my hair causing me to stretch my head back and expose my neck. He trails kisses down my neck. As the passion grows the turn into little bites, I moan as each little connection we share is felt in my groin.

"Tobias, I need you," I moan, as he trails back up and plants his mouth on mine. He turns, still holding me with my legs wrapped around his waist, and my arms tangled around his neck and shoulders. I hear a huge clunk, and see he's just thrown some 45 pound weights across the room, clearing space on a shelf for me to sit. He rests me on the shelf and I feel the cool metal against my bare legs. Now with freedom to move my arms without being dropped, I disentangle them and pull at the hem of Tobias's shirt. He breaks the kiss for a moment so I can slide it off of him, and I throw it to the side. From where I sit at eye level, I can see his tattoo creeping up around his neck and over his shoulders, but before I can stare I'm pulled back into Tobias.

He kisses me passionately. Hot. We're both sweaty from the workout, so I can smell the rugged side of him. He still smells like soap somehow mixed with musk and lust, creating the perfect scent. I trail my fingers up over his stomach, feeling each and every muscle. Each and every part of him is so solid, so strong, but yet I've never felt safer, more exposed or more comfortable with anyone else. I find his perfect six pack, and giggle, looking down in embarrassment. He grabs my chin and latches his mouth back to mine. "What?" he murmurs, not taking his lip off mine. I feel the vibrations as he speaks against my lips, causing me to want even more. But I pull back, remembering just how perfect he is. I let myself look him up and down.

Standing before me is some sort of sex god. His dark brown hair perfectly folds over just at the top, still short, but not quite abnegation. His face just welcomes me, and I don't understand why. Why me? "I don't know, it's just... I swear to god, you're photoshopped. And you could get any girl you wanted, even ones you don't! want But instead, you choose me. Some flat chested, awkward, stubborn and rude girl who just happened to stumble into Dauntless from Abnegation. Why did you choose me?" I ramble, looking down at his abs, half out of embarrassment, but also because... Well, because... his abs.

"Tris," he says, gently resting his fingers under my chin, and pulling my face up. I still can't look him in the eye. "Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want any of them? That I want you? Don't you feel the way we fit together so perfectly, balancing each other out in every way? The second I saw you, I studied your face and I prayed that you would take your time to figure out a new name just so I could watch you a little longer. I don't want you Tris. I need you," he finishes, placing a light kiss on my lips.

I relax into him, and kiss him back, letting my fingers trace over his tattoo I've come to know so well. His hands rest on my thighs but slowly creep up, fingers just under my shirt as if to ask permission. I nod, keeping my lips on his. I can't seem to take my fingers off his back, so he reaches around and grabs both of my hands with one of his, holding them above my head and sliding the shirt off. He stares at me for a moment and I blush even deeper. "Definitely not a little girl," he murmurs.

His lips find mine again, and I'm wrapped up in his arms, his bare chest warm against mine, and my hands start tracing his stomach again. I find the perfect V of his lower abs, careful to linger each finger, then I hook my fingers in the waistband of his sweats. I pull down some, but can't get them past where they originally sat. I try again and groan in frustration, breaking our kiss for better access. But instead, I burst out laughing at the sight of his boxers sticking out of his pants. "You look like one of the little boys trying to be cool!" I gasp in between laughs, pointing down. He looks, rolls his eyes, and whips his pants off. "You may not look like a little girl but sometimes I swear you have the humour of a six year old," he sighs, pulling me back to him.

Every movement breathes warmth and life back into me, as if the sun itself were shinning on my inner core. He loops his fingers into the waistband of my pants and I take one of my hands from his neck and push my self off the shelf, just long enough for him to slip them off of me. "I love you," I say, grinning to myself. He says it right back, and without seeing it, I feel his smile turn into a joking grin. "But I guess that doesn't mean much, seeing as I'm some sort of man whore," he jokes, chuckling.

I pull back and swat his arm playfully "Yeah, but you're MY man whore!" I joke, but the second I pull back, the laughter disappears from his face. Instead, his eyes roam up and down my body, causing me to blush, but he continues to stare, his eyes growing hungry. He steps in even closer and lays me down on the shelf, pulling my arms up and pinning them above my head. He somehow reaches a hand behind me and unclasps my bra, tearing it away from me. He kisses the skin right below my navel, trailing up just like he did the other night with the body shots.

When he reaches my nipple, he takes it in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it. I feel the same sensation as last night, as if a growing ball of warmth was gathering right in my lower abs. I don't know what to do with my hands. Shit. Oh, this feels so good. "Tobias, oh my god!" I whimper, fishing my fingers through his hair. He switches to the other one and twirls it around in his mouth, sucking and twirling, sucking and twirling.

"Tobias, I... Uhhh... Oh my... I can't hold on much longer!" I scream, but he dosen't stop. Instead, he tears off my thong, as if it were made of paper, and inserts a finger into me, twirling his finger around inside. I feel him pump in and out of me, spreading me and rubbing up against my inner most secret walls. His mouth mashes with mine as my hips grind to their own accord. He insert another finger, spreading me even wider, causing to moan out into his mouth.

"I love you" he murmurs against my mouth, curling his fingers upwards, striking a a new spot with jolts me like an electric current. My legs stiffen, my back arches into him and I'm pretty sure I'm clawing so hard at his back that I will leave marks. I whimper into his mouth, causing him to smile against mine. I cling on to him as he kisses me gently while I try my best to calm my heart rate, clutching myself against him for dear life. Finally, the feeling subsides and he pulls me up into him, wraps his arms around me, and kisses me as if nothing else matters in the world. And it didn't.

Once my breathing slows, I rest my head in his shoulder. But I still feel the need. I need, no I crave the feeling of him inside of me. What was once my biggest fear has been shattered, crushed and is now a drug I need in my body. I pull on his boxers as I raise my lips up to his, and immediately, he takes the hint. He lifts one hand from my back and takes them off. Not waiting for approval this time, he let's me arch back into his hands as he waits at my entrance, devilishly slowly spreading me wider second by second. He eases all the way in, giving me a moment to adjust to the feeling of being completely full, rolling my hips around his member to grow accustom.

he eases back out, his lips on my my neck while my hands tug at his hair. He holds me, completely off the shelf, and he continues to slide me back off of his, almost to the tip, Then entering again, a bit quicker than last time, but still far too slow in the moment. I take the matter into my own hands, lifting myself off of his hips and letting myself fall back down around him. With the unpleasant pinching feeling of last night nowhere to be found. He holds me around the back of my thighs, pumping me up and down furiously now. After a few moments of grinding our bodies in synchronization, I can tell he's close, the way he kisses me, no longer out of only passion and love, but of need and hunger.

But suddenly, he stills, freezing. As if in pain, he groans "How long does that shot last?" I search my mind, clouded with lust, but quickly remember "We're good for 2 weeks. Now if you don't mind..." I say, jokingly but starting to grind my hips in rhythm with his again.

Finally it's too much for me, and I collapse into his chest, every single part of me exploding around him, as he does one final thrust and empties himself into me, collapsing onto the shelf but keeping his weight off me. He pulls out, and kisses me hot on the lips, his breathing still coming in quick little huffs. I pull his forehead against mine and we just stare into each other's eyes for what feels like forever. He exhales, his warm breath somehow cooling me down, bringing me back down to reality and realizing that although I am with the most perfect man in existence, we're also very naked together in a supply weight closet. He seems to realize the same thing, laughs, and pulls me up.

Now that we're not in the heat of the moment, I'm quick to cover up, making sure Tobias doesn't get a chance to stare to long. I throw my clothes on in a haste, and twiddle my fingers for Tobias to be ready. "Hey Tris, forgetting something?" I look over my shoulder and there stand Tobias twirling the remnants of my thong on his finger.

**R&R and maybe I'll update Tonight! Love you guys! I'd like to say a huge thank you to all of you guys who leave reviews, I got some yesterday that made me cry, they were just so nice. You guys have kinda become my escape from life, something I really needed. Please though, if you are leaving a nice review and you are a guest, sign it with a name so I can at least give you a shout out!**

**love you guys **

**D**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello everyone! I cannot believe the amount of lovely reviews I got yesterday, I reached a total of over 200, as well as over 50 000 views. A special thanks to those of you reaching out and talking about depression, you would not believe how creating this online family with you guys has made me see a bit of hope. I do actually have an MRI (woohoo for brain infections, right?!) and I'm not super stoked, so hopefully when I get home from school I'll boost my spirits pre-scan and post another chapter. I've decided I will eventually write a separate smut story, but don't worry, the lemons won't stop in this one. I love you guys so much, thank you for all you have done for me.**

* * *

(Tris)

"Wake the hell up!" someone yells, and a pair of well manicured fingers flick me right between the eyebrows. Tobias and I had gone back to his place, showered off, then had somehow fallen asleep. Beside me, I feel the warmth of Tobias's chest against my back wrenched away, exposing me to a bitter chill of longing, as he's pulled off the bed. Ihear what sounds like someone jumping on him. Groaning, I roll over, opening my eyes just in time to see Tobias's arm reaching up and wrapping around Uriah and Will's legs, pulling them down onto their backs. Zeke stands just out of Tobias's reach, laughing and kicking all of them lightly in the ribs. "I told you to step back fast. You guys are idiots," he laughs, but his cockiness blinds him, taking a step too close and being met by a good kick in the shins from Tobias.

I roll over and see Christina digging through my bag of clothes I had brought over, flinging bras and panties everywhere. I jump up and shove her away, stuffing everything back into the bag. "Mind telling me how the fuck you got in here?" He looks over at Zeke, the only one out of the four he really knows. Zeke raises his hands as if to admit defeat "They made me give them your spare key... I couldn't say no," his grins, giving himself him away,"But hey, if we're interrupting something..." he says pointing towards me. I look down and nearly jump out of my skin, seeing that I'm only wearing Tobias's t-shirt and pearls. I tug at the edge of Tobias's shirt, covering my naked legs now turned crimson from the blush spreading through me.

"Shut up. Why are you guys here?" Tobias asks, rubbing his eyes, still only half awake, his voice deep and scratchy. Christina nudges my bag to the side with her foot, "We have the party in like half an hour, and there's obviously no way in hell Tris can get herself ready." I suddenly realize Christina is in full makeup and hair, heels and a tube of fabric that could almost be considered a dress. "But don't worry, I brought you something," she says, throwing a garment bag at me.

"Leave now. Out! I'll change but you guys need to learn the meaning of the word BOUNDARIES. Out!" I shout, and Christina, Will and Uriah drag their feet out, each giving me the best puppy dog expression they can muster, single file out the door. Zeke just hangs back, walking over to the couch, but Tobias grabs him by the back of his shirt and chucks him over towards the door. "You're no better than them. Leave us alone," I sigh. Zeke rolls his eyes. "Just because you're letting her control your mind with her wicked lady parts doesn't mean she can make you into a boring little sex slave. I'm watching you chica," he says, pointing his fingers at his narrowed eyes then jabbing them towards me, while sticking his tongue out.

"Sorry about them," I say, slamming the door behind Zeke. I grab the garment bag and head over to the bathroom to get dressed. I slide the zipper open and out comes, as to be expected, a minimal amount of black fabric. I don't even try to analyze what I'm going to be wearing, and slide it right on, the zipper hanging undone at my side, and I start to tackle my hair and face. I pull my hair into a tight knot on the top of my head, pull a few wisps away, loosening it up, just to avoid looking like an Erudite, then I paint some black gunk onto my eyelashes. I finally take a minute to assess my dress. It's a black soft fabric that hugs around my arms and torso, but doesn't cover my back, then spills out into a loose skirt that ends mid thigh. Not nearly as bad as I expected, and the neck line compliments the string of pearls perfectly.

"Can you grab me a pair of shoes that look impossible to walk in?" I ask Tobias as I step out, readjusting the pearls. He lies on the bed in jeans and a T-shirt, but stands up and tosses a pair of heels towards me. I dodge them with no problem, then step into them as gracefully as I can. He looks up, a smile spreading across his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes. His brows are furrowed. Something's up. "You look... Amazing," He stutters. I give him a joking twirl, remembering last night. "Now let's just hope we can make it through the night without an attack," I joke. I expect a little laugh, but his face remains placid, as if he hadn't heard me, his arms folded over his chest, staring at the door. I walk over and pull his face down to mine, and as if on instinct, his hands slide around my waist and he pulls me up. We kiss for a moment, but his movements are too robotic. There's definitely something up. I take my hands from his shoulders and lean back but he keeps me off the ground. "Hey! You," I say, grabbing his face in my hands and tapping it lightly. "What's up? I'm not going to some stupid party with you acting weird all night. What's up?" I ask, putting my hands on my hips.

Finally he seems to realize I'm about a foot off the ground, and he sets me down gently. "Uh, I don't know... It's nothing," he mumbles, rolling his eyes and taking a step towards the door. But I stop him, jabbing the heel of my shoes into his toes. "I can wait all night Tobias," I say, pulling him back to me. He looks down at me and realizes he's fighting a losing battle. "Ok. But just know that you can say no without worrying about how I feel." He says, looking down at me with caution. I just stare up at him, waiting for him to continue.

The pulse of his neck under my palm quickens, his brows knitting together and he bites his lip so hard it turn white. Something is wrong, troubling him.

I just hope it isn't me.

**Sorry to leave you guys hanging, but I will try my best to update when I'm home from school. I'd like to just take a minute and say that if you are struggling with anything in life, it doesn't have to be depression or mental disability like me, please please please message me. I know what it's like, and sometimes it seems like the easiest thing to do is just to make it all end, but writing there stories has made me realize that you never really know what life is until you're at the point where you can bring yourself to end one. It's fickle guys. Delicate like you wouldn't believe, but the fragility is what makes it worth living, worth fighting for, even if you don't want to anymore. I f there is any ways I can make one life better, I want to. I love you all so much.**

**D**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi guys! Thank you all for your kind thoughts, hopefully they'll be able to fix my brain one day and I can publish some better work. I love you guys!**

Tobias shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Well, they're going to be giving the new Dauntless members keys to their apartments tomorrow..." he starts, watching my face for a reaction, but I try my best not to show any signs of sadness. He's getting sick of me being here every second of the day. I knew this would have to be said sooner or later, but still, it feels as if the pearls at my throat are turning to ice, closing in around my breaths. I roll my eyes nonchalantly, "Don't worry about it Tobias. I can sleep in the dormitories tonight and then I'll be out of your hair," I say, turning around to walk to the door.

But he grabs my hand and twirls me back around, right into his chest. The sudden impact knocks the wind out of me but I don't stagger thanks to the strong set of arms around me. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind getting your key a little early?" he whispers into my ear. So he really can't stand me... I roll my shoulders and burry my face into his chest, so that he can't see any sign of me being upset. "Sure. I guess you would have the hookup," I say fairly steadily, but I can hear the little break at the end. He doesn't seem to notice, too consumed with the task at hand.

He steps back, leaving me exposed to the cold air. He comes back carrying a tiny little rectangular box, cloaked in black velvet. I open it and see a glossy new key, with an engraved number 6 on it. I try to force a smile up at him, but it doesn't come, so I just stare at the key. "Thanks. What apartment number is it?" I ask, expecting some far off apartment on the other side of the compound. He scratches his head as if he can't remember, very unlike him, and walks towards the door. "Let me check," he says, opening the door and peering his head out.

I start to follow him, towards what I assume will be my new home, but his head pops back in before I can make it to the door. "216. Or at least, that's what the door says." I'm a little confused, but he grabs me around the waist and tosses me out into the hallway, closing and locking the door between us. What the. But I look up and see a little gold plaque on Tobias's door that reads "216, Four and Tris". My heart stops for a moment, the blood draining from my face, but a smile replacing it.

I knock, letting my head hang down to hide my smile. "Tobias! What's going on?!" I laugh. "Sorry, only residents have a key to unlock this door. Unless you are a resident, you will be asked to leave," he replies, his voice muffled by the door but I can practically hear his crooked smile through it. I take a deep breath and unlock the door with the little gold key in my hand that reads 6. Before I can take a step in, the most familiar pair of arms sweep me up and into the most amazing man in the world.

His lips press against mine, his hands wrapping around my waist and resting on my bare back. "So is that a yes to moving in with here?" he mumbles into my mouth. I pull back and pec him on the lips. "I don't know, I heard the guy who lives here is a bit of a man w***," I say, giggling and sticking my tongue out. He bonks his head against mine lightly, pecking me on the cheek. "I know what you mean, I heard the girl that lives here is absolutely insane," he says, turning around and falling onto the bed with me on top of him. "Yes," I say, looking into his eyes, nodding with a huge grin I can't control.

"Yes she's insane or-" I cut him off with a kiss, but I pull back quickly. "Yes to having the man w*** and the insane girl live together," I sigh looking into his face that I've studied countless times but always seem to find something new in. "Good," he says,"because I hear they make a really hot couple." He pulls my face down gently and let's his hands roam my bare back. "Aw hell no. No no no. Get your horny teenage asses up and out." Christina's voice shouts from the foot of the bed.

The door still hangs open, but Zeke and Will stand at the door, careful not to cross the threshold. "Ok ok we're coming!" Tobias moans, rolling off the bed and grabbing me before I can fall flat on my face. As we walk out the door, he leans down and whispers in my ear.

"Absolutely insane," then he yanks my zipper up.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys! So let me give y'all a little update on what I have planned, just because you guys are so amazing... **

**1)I will be writing a separate smut story. (I've been finding myself forcing certain events to accommodate sex in the story, so I'm not going to force it anymore, but put write it in when I think it fits.**

**2) I will TRY my best to update everyday this week, I've gotten WAY too far ahead in my writing (just finished ch.43) and I can't balance your feedback with my writing anymore, but I LOVE feedback, I crave it, and what's the point of it if I can't put it to good use?**

**3) This is 100% certain going to be at least a 2 part series.**

**4) To those of you who "don't care what goes on in my personal life." And just want me to "shut up and write" (thank you SOOO much for those lovely reviews you impatient little...) you do have this PHENOMENAL ability to use that little scroll button and not read these blurbs. (As much as I do love taking to you guys, I get it that you come here to read fanfiction)**

**Thank you to my editor thebigdog2895, all rights go to the amazing Veronica Roth**

The party is in full swing by the time we get there. Somehow it was much more tasteful than the first Dauntless Party, but incredibly trashy compared to the ball. Girls everywhere glided around in tiny dresses and heels that looked like some sort of torture devices, while every person there, not only the boys, scanned the room hungrily, searching for their night's prey. Tobias's hand lingers on my waist, hardly detectable except for the slight flutter of his fingers when we move, but I know, the moment I step away from him, the willowy shadow of his arm would turn to steel, shielding me from what surrounds us.

We start towards the other side of the room, where bodies don't battle for dominance, less skin is bared to the world, and mouths form sentences, conversations brewing into mingling. Each step is dragged by the pressing bodies around, contorting at odd angles and dripping of lust and desire, ultimately in dauntless fashion. "Fuck it." I shout above the music, brandishing my elbows and piercing through the gyrating mess. I feel Tobias chuckle against my side, following my lead with much more affect.

After what felt like hours, we reach the other sided of the room, leaning against each other and panting. I sigh and smile up at Tobias, but his usual doting gaze has is replaced with a bloodthirsty stare, locked on a few couches away from us. I follow his gaze, and my stomach ties itself into a little knot, pulling at my insides, taking all my strength not to cave in. There, 3 couches away from us, sits Eric in a wheel chair, his bruising having faded quite a bit, but he still looks rather injured. His jaw sports a nice bandage, his arm hanging limply in a sling, and, bringing a little leap from my heart, both his legs are weighed down by the plaster of the casts wrapped around them. With all the pain I could have caused him, none of it measured to the emptiness that clawed inside me the moment he laughed, at some stupid joke Shauna had told. It was the same laugh that had rung in my ears the moment I started to struggle. The same laugh I had silenced. My nails dig into my palm, the ringing in my ears growing louder.

I'm snapped out of my trance from a sudden raw sting of the rooms brisk air against my back. Looking down I realize Tobias's arm had disappeared from my waist. Whipping my head up, before he can take a step away, I grab his arm, digging my heels into the floor. "No no no no no no. Not here. Tobias my shoes are going to break, stop. Not here, everyone will want to know what he did to deserve it. Stop please please," I plead, but I know all my tugging and begging in the world couldn't stop him. But, when my arms suddenly go limp and my stiff body lets him go, he turns rigid, forgetting the situation at hand.

A pair of long fingers graze my neck, sending shivers like pin pricks down my spine. "Well if isn't just Dauntless's cutest couple! How are you guys doing tonight?" Lauren stands in front of me, one of her lanky arms draped over my shoulders, in a dress that even Christina wouldn't have called a dress. Tobias had stopped and turned at the sound of her voice, but instead of boredom, I'm sure Lauren had been expecting, his face is amused. She looks over at me, then back at Tobias, giving him a wink she made sure only I saw. "So Four. How have things been? I mean we haven't talked since... You know." She says, giving me a knowing glance while trying to swat him playfully on the arm but he moves, causing her to lose balance a bit and pull on my arm.

"Well, Lauren I've actually been meaning to talk to you!" Tobias says, with false excitement in his tone. Lauren's smile deepens and she thrusts her chest out. "Oh really?" she practically purrs. All I can do is watch, cringing at the memory of last night's confrontation with her. "Yeah. I've been meaning to ask you, at what point did you drug me? Because from what you've told my girlfriend here, there is a lot of times we've had together that I don't remember. I don't know, maybe your confusing me with Eric, who, if you excuse me, I need to go talk to," Tobias says, very casually, then spins on his heels and disappears through the crowd.

The vein in her forehead seems to strain against her reddening skin. Lauren's eyes are brimmed with tears of either rage or embarrassment, I can't tell. I give her my most apologetic face and shrug my shoulders "Sorry bitch!" I say, then turn and start elbowing my way to where Eric sits. I push and shove and finally in a little clearing, I see Tobias slipping through people, in such a graceful way that people wouldn't notice him, if it weren't for the strength he emanates. I take the only chance I may get, diving through the crowd and clamping both my hands around his arm, not even being able to circle his bicep completely, due to its size. But even with all the strength in the world, he had once told me, taking someone from surprise will always conquer.

I yank, my hands turning into steel around his bicep, and he falls to the ground with a muffled "thunk". Before he can get up and run to Eric, I jump on him, straddling his stomach and taking his face in my hands, wrenching his eyes to mine. No one seems to take notice of us, except for one girl who trips on Tobias's leg. "get a room," She grumbles, but with the mix of the bottle in her grasp and her disheveled dress, I would guess she could have tripped on a grain of sand.

"Stop. You're going to make a scene and I don't want people knowing he attacked me," I whisper, staring at him as intense as I can manage under the odd coloured lights. But his gaze isn't meeting mine. Instead, he focuses on the spot in the room that I'm sure is Eric. I stand and pull him too his feet, his hand wrapping around mine out of reflex. I drag him behind me, each of his footsteps heavy and slow. Finally I stop, and he turns his head, the blue in his eyes stand on edge, electricity coursing through him, pure rage and adrenaline.

I reach up and lace my arms around his neck. He just stands there, scanning our surroundings and realizing what's happening. "What are you doing Tris?" he practically whines, but still standing stiff as a board. "Well babe. I'm going to try to distract my boyfriend so he doesn't go up and brake some asshole's jaw when his girlfriend already did. And seeing as said girlfriend can't dance for her life, the boyfriend will either dance with her or take the girlfriend back to his place." He just stares at me, and we study each other for a while. Even in heels, I can hardly wrap my arms around his neck, but we just stand there, getting bumped and shoved by the grinding crowd.

"Shut up, I figured calling you my only reason to live wouldn't quite have the impact as calling you my girlfriend" he says, rolling his eyes and draping an arm around and turning towards the direction of the door. "And it's our place, babe." He breathes, his lips buzzing against my ear. We could be sitting in a deserted meadow for all I know, the whispered words ringing clear into my mind. I smile, glad he can't see me blush in the dim light. Eventually, we make it to the thinner crowd at the entrance.

Just as we're about to leave, an arm wraps around my waist, holding me in place while Tobias is pushed forwards. Out of instinct and reflex, I turn and twist the arm that wraps around me, but quickly drop it when I see it belongs to Zeke. "Leaving so soon?" He questions. Tobias and I shrug our shoulders "We figured we would just make an appearance, you hanging back?" Tobias asks, obviously just making obligatory small talk. "Yeah, but I meant to ask you if you ever read what was in that envelope?" Zeke asks, gesturing for us to step outside as he does.

The air is somehow cooler out here, even though it's in the same building, but there are no crowds or blaring music to make you feel cornered. "I haven't. What about it?" Tobias asks, pulling me into him subconsciously, draping his arms over my shoulders and resting his chin on my head. Blood rushes to my cheeks, but Zeke doesn't notice, he just smiles at the sight of us. "Eric gave me one too. It's early initiation this year apparently. Some leap year or something, but we'll need to start setting up their training rooms and training the simulations soon." Zeke says, a pained expression crossing his face when he talks about the simulations. "Oh. Ok, well thanks, I'll read it when we get back to our place." Zeke waves and nods his head at me, then runs back into the party.

We walk in silence for a while, then finally I clear my throat. "So what does that mean?" I ask, looking up at him, he's just staring ahead, lost in thought, but looks down at me, with a vicious smile. "The next few weeks of training are going to be hell. Then the gates of Satan himself will open up, and out will pour the initiates."

**Still looking for some fan art to put as the cover, let me know if you're interested. R&R so I know what you guys think and want to happen, I'm sorry my writing hasn't been very good recently, I get some pretty shit days. **

**On a personal note for all you amazing supporters:**

**My MRI was not that bad, I'm going to a specialist today to talk about "alternative learning options..." (Woo fucking Hoo) Then I'm waiting for a neurologist appointment still. A few people have takes to me about their struggles in life, and I am more than happy to take to anyone who wants to talk. **

**Love all my readers**

**XOXO D**


	26. Chapter 26

(Tobias)

"Reading it over and over again won't make it any better. Now grab a knife and help me." Tris says, snatching the letter from my hand and folding it back into the envelope then tossing it onto the counter out of my reach. Once we woke up, I had spent the whole morning reading and re-reading it, trying to think of ways to make this training easier. I stand, the stool scraping against the stone floor and pull a bowl of ingredients over towards myself, sitting on the counter as I do so. "What are we doing today?" She asks, handing me some eggs to crack into the bowl.

"Each other" I say, the teenager in me taking over, before I had the chance to filter what comes out of my mouth. Tris turns and whips me with the dish towel in her hand, "What are you 12?" She laughs, wrapping her arms around my neck and hoping up onto the counter, straddling my hips. "On a scale of one to ten? Yes" I say, pulling her into me. She fits me perfectly, in each way, her little body curves just at the right spots under my T-shirt beneath my hand, the fabric getting hitched up over her thigh against my legs. Her hands begin to roam my bare chest, her mouth glued to mine. "Tobias... The cookies!" She mumbles into my mouth, pulling away from me, but I keep her close.

She twists, somehow pulling away from me, and hops over to the oven, straightening out her pearls as she goes. "Ok, so other than, well.. You know. What are we doing once this is all done?" She asks, motioning to the food that litters the counter. It had taken me a while, but I had been able to convince her to make some food for us, something more personal than the dinning hall usuals. "Well, we need to grab all your stuff from the dormitories, get you moved in, then tonight we're going out." I say, trying to slip the last part in.

With no luck, Tris turns around after setting down the tray she had in her hands, dropping her oven mitts to the counter. "I'm sorry, what was that last bit?" She says, as if I were mocking her. I shrug my shoulders, trying to keep my voice steady. "There's some things we need to talk about, and some fun we need to have." I can see her eyes brighten a little bit at the mention of going out and doing something, but she just smiles and turns back around, mixing some sort of batter. She pulls up the wooden spoon, letting the dark brown mix slither of in a thin ribbon "damn" she mutters to herself, tossing the bowl aside.

"What's wrong?" I ask, as she stands there nibbling at her bottom lip, lost in thought. Her head quirks up at my voice, snapping her back from her trance "Oh, nothing. I just messed up on that cake mix so it won't rise now." She grumbles "it should still taste fine, but I don't think it's worth baking."

(Tris)

Tobias hops off the counter, and grabs the bowl, sticking his finger into it then tasting it. "Holy crap! This is amazing!" He says, grabbing me from behind and dragging me into him. "Try some!" He laughs, offering his newly coated finger, laughing, I stare up at him, trying to suppress the grin the hooks the edges of my lips. "I'm not going to try any, now go finish kneading some dough or something!" I laugh, but he just pulls me tighter. "I'm sorry miss Prior, but as the responsible adult in this relationship, I cannot let you continue living your life without trying some." He says, mocking the military voice he took when we first met.

"Tobias!" I giggle, thing to wriggle my way out of his arms. He smudges the batter on my lips, and we both break down into fits of laughter. I turn, putting my hands on my hips and shaking my head "now look what you did." I say, pointing to my lips. Suddenly, a devilish grin slides onto his face, and he pulls me up to him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. "I may have a solution for that" he whispers, barely audible, then gently bites my lip.

I moan, a shiver of lust running through me. I reach past him and dip my finger in the mixture, then smear it against his jaw line and trail I down his neck. I feel him smile against my lips, then pull back so he can give me a questioning look. I raise my shoulders up and pout, giving him my best indecent look I can muster. "Oops! Better fix that!" I say, then bring my lips down to his neck, starting with slow pecks, but when his mouth mirrors mine against my own neck, it becomes hungry and heavy.

Somehow he holds me up, kisses my neck and slides his tshirt off of me all at once, and I press harder against him, pulling my lips up to his and twisting my fingers in his hair. Our bare stomachs press against each other, and I can feel the now familiar ball of pressure begin to slowly build in the base of mine. "Bedroom?" I ask, running my fingers down his spine, feeling the muscles tighten on either side of it, his skin hot and smooth. "Here's fine" he says, pressing his lips harder against mine.

he hold me against him, and with his free arm swipes the metal bowls, spoons and chopping board off the counter, and everything slams to the floor with a clatter. He pulls me closer to him, then lies me down on the counter, stepping out of his pants and boxers. He undoes the clasp of my bra and slides of my underwear, then pulls me back into him, his arms like a cage holding us together.

I push my hips off of his a bit, to give him access to my opening. He doesn't tease me, but slowly eases into me, the new angle of being held up means more stretching sensation. My head bows into his shoulder as I welcome the fond feeling of fullness, and he leans back over the counter, still taking most of my weight in his arms, but putting us in a more horizontal, comfortable position. "Ready?" He whispers, his voice deep and smooth, fogged by lust. Instinctively I arch my back and bite my lip, giving him a nod, the only thing I can manage under such stimulation.

He rocks back, pulling out of me, then thrusts back in. The new position of his body angled on top of mine allows him to effortlessly rub against the top of my sex, sending a shock like electricity through all my extremities. I whimper, over come with every single movement, as he slams into me, my hips moving on their own accord to meet his. He bends down, continuing to thrust into me, and kisses right behind my ear, the motion and feeling of his mouth on the sensitive skin pulling me so much closer to the edge, but I hold on for him.

I grip the edge of the counter, digging my nails into the cold tile, as he trails kisses and little bites down my jaw and neck. One of his hands grabs both of mine and pin them above my head, and he nips gently at the soft skin of my tricep. I writhe, needing to hold onto something, but his arms are so strong against mine I doubt he even notices. I dig my fingernails into my palms and bite my lip turning my head to the side, but forgetting what I was exposing. He leans down and kisses me right under my ear, and whispers "I love you" into my ear.

Every single muscle in me contracts, a string pulled taught in me finally snapped, as I whimper, he explodes into me. His arm holding mine up loosens, and he brings it with his other hand to support his weight over me. Our breathing doesn't seem to slow, but finally, after just staring into each other's eyes and little kisses, we're clothed and brewing a pot of coffee " yep, definite twelve" I say in a sigh, as I wrap my hands around his waist.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello my beautiful readers! really quickly, my editor, thebigdog2895 , wrote a little piece called "The Way I Love You" it's a letter written from Tobias to Tris after Allegiant, and it gets them feels going. So go check that out. Also, a few reviews I have gotten the past couple days have been so absolutely wonderful... I cannot thank you enough to take time to tell me what you think, let alone read this story****. Pease leave me a review, I need some push to make me want to write sometimes and reading a nice thoughtful review just makes my day. *shut up self! they don't want to read about reviews* ok so without further pointless blabbing, I present to you, the chapter: **

The sky blurs, the setting sun taking away the warmth which engulfed us today, still comfortable on my skin, but left without the sticking feeling in the air. What could it have been like? Being undefined, as our ancestors were? Not having a certain part of you the only thing you could display, the only thing you felt? Clear, unstuck like the night, getting away from the blistering heat of it all. "Tobias?" Tris pipes up. We've been on the train for about fifteen minutes now, her little body sits in between my legs resting her back against my chest, her head reclined back in the little alcove between my neck and shoulder.

"Mhhmm?" I reply, taking my eyes away from the open door and looking down to see her peering eyes, analyzing my face, taking in what she sees and drawing a conclusion. "What are you trying to distract yourself from?" She says, her lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed and her fingers fidgeting like they do when she's trying to figure something out. "What do you mean?" I say, looking back out at the darkening blur of sky and land. Her fingers rest on my chin, pulling my face down to look at hers.

"You don't give a rats ass about what outside looks like. You're trying to distract yourself from something. What aren't you telling me?" She asks, her tone becoming more severe, not forcing me to tell her, but the thirst for knowledge in her thriving off of her observations. I look past her face, and see her string of pearls nestled against the leather of her jacket. Somehow, she makes them look like they belong, they're beauty and extravagances cloaked into something more personal, fitting to everything she wears and the way she holds herself.

She follows my gaze, and rests her fingers on the pearls, gently rotating them around the string. "Who is it?" She asks, more gently this time, the compassion edging out her curiosity. I inhale deeply, taking in the fresh air and the light scent of vanilla and lavender off of Tris. "My mom.. She um... She's dead." I say. Feeling the pressure that had built up in my chest since we had hopped on this train. Tris's head leans to the side a bit in the crook of my neck, her eyebrows furrowing even more, and her teeth begin to chew on her bottom lip as her arms come down and wrap around mine that rest on our legs, pulling them around her.

She sits there, waiting for me to continue, because she knows there's more. I clear my throat, not letting my voice waver. "She didn't die like everyone thought she did. She ran. Marcus had been as bad to her as he had to me, but having to watch her son go through what she did... It was too much. So one night, she came into my room. She had handed me a box with those pearls inside of them, and told me that every time I needed her, to remember, that i was stronger by myself than I was with others. That I didn't need anyone. I never saw her again. At your choosing ceremony, I couldn't handle being around Marcus, so I just waited by the train tracks. A woman, a factionless woman covered in scars, approached me and told me I looked familiar, then walked away."I say, taking a break to breath, but Tris just wraps her arms around mine tighter, keeping me close to the only thing that matters.

"Eventually, the woman returned, with a picture. Of me. I didn't know it had ever been taken, it was from when I was a kid, before my mom left. The woman explained that my mom had lived among the factionless for a few years, and had passed away only 3 years ago." I finish. Tris lets go of my arms and twists around in my lap, hugging her arms around my neck.

We sit in silence for a while, I just hold her tight as she braces herself against me, the wind coming off the train starting to prickle at us. "She was wrong you know" I murmur into Tris's neck. She looks up, a inquisitive look on her face, not curious, but worried. "Who?" She asks, barely audible against the roar of the wheels against the tracks. "My mom. I do need someone, I just needed the right someone. You make me stronger Tris. You help me thrive of the fear that used to control me, you can shatter my outer shell and expose what's actually me. I didn't know there was a real me, and you're making me stronger."

"I love you Tobias" she says, leaning into me. "And I need you more than you will ever know." She says letting me hold her tight against me, pressing her lips to mine. The sound of the tracks change, a hollow empty sound. "Ok, well, we're going to have to jump soon. Enough emotional crap for tonight?" I say into her mouth. She laughs, then stands up and pulls me to my feet. "Whatever babe." She says, rolling her eyes.

**Really quick: I've been getting a lot of questions as to whether or not I will be killing Tris or Tobias. The answer is no, but there will be new characters introduced later on, and yes, one of them will die, and maybe another character you already know... You'll see I guess. But not until the second story. I love you guys so much, thank you for all your support and views (I passed 60 000!) and reviews, they're what keep me going!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone. Sorry I didn't post yesterday (Saturday), I'm the kind of person who wants to make sure they're super prepared, so I've written way ahead just for when my health starts to slip up once and awhile, let me tell you, hospital are NOT the place to write a romance fic. So I haven't been super write-y lately and then I got a sudden terror of not having enough material to update with, and seeing as I had updated everyday this week *self five* I figured you guys could handle one Saturday off. That got me thinking... I've written up to ch 46, so read below how you can get a chance to know a bit of the plot before I post it. Thank you to all my lovely readers and my editor thebigdog2895. R&R so I know you're out there!**

**D**

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(Tris)

"Ready?" Tobias shouts, but I can barely hear him. We hang out the train, letting the wind press our clothes right against us, flinging my hair back. I turn around and smile, grabbing his hand and giving him a nod, knowing I won't be able to yell loud enough for him to hear. His hands fit mine perfectly, one of his being able to wrap around mine effortlessly, rough and rugged against my tiny delicate one. He gives it a little squeeze, the callouses from handling guns and knives press into my palm, and before I realize it, my feet are jumping from the train, running before the shock of my weight can register against the ground.

I trip, my sneaker catching on a jagged rock protruding from the hard earth below. Tobias's arm wrap around my waist, continuing to run, but the sounds of his feet against the ground are drowned out by the train behind us, which I can see hoisted up over his shoulder.

"You just have save the damsel in distress don't you? Insufferable." I say I between giggles as he puts me down once we've gotten far away enough to hear each other over the train. He pulls a fake condescending look, jutting his bottom lip out, he grabs my chin and bends his face to mine. "Well we can't have have my little girl going around getting hurt, now can we?" He smirks and presses his lips against my nose. I flick him in between the eyebrows, scrunching up my face I'm mock anger. "You watch out young man, I'm armed" I say pointing to my chest.

His hand wraps back around mine, and he starts to walk forwards. I scan the area and immediately recognize where we are. Memories of vivid colours, glowing bands and guns flash behind my eyes, but the strongest one is that of Tobias actually talking to me as if I mattered, right on that Ferris Wheel growing larger with each and thump of our steps on the compact dry earth. "You never did explained to me why you had lethal weapons covering your boobs." He says, looking down at me with a smirk.

After I finish explaining the whole concept of self defence lingerie, we're a few long strides away from the base of the Ferris wheel. He stills momentarily, looking at me in amazement. "We're going lingerie shopping when we have time." He says in complete serious. He continues walking towards the ladder where rungs crawl up into the sky too far for the naked sky to see. "You and my dead body. Whatever. So why are we here?" I say, rolling my eyes but pulling him a bit closer to me. The early darkness of the night reflects off of the chipping white paint of the wheel, casting odd shadows here and there.

"Well," he says, staring up the ladder, all humour disappearing from his face, his dark blue eyes shinning in spots where empty bulbs on the wheel cascade the setting sun's light reflect in them, "technically I'm here to train, and you're here to help me. But if you go into your little erudite brain of yours, logically it could be classified as a date." He says, wrenching his eyes away from the hight which I'm sure freezes his insides, looking down at me, biting his lower lip. He makes a forced movement towards the ladder, but I budge in don't of him, trying to make anything easier for him.

I hop up on the rungs and start to climb, so I'm just above his eye level. He peered into my face, a question resting on his lips. "Well, if this is a date, ladies first." I say, waiting for him to climb on behind me. Finally, I hear the slight groan of the metal under his weight and his chest pressed up against my back. I can feel his heart pounding against my back, his breath coming in heavy measured breaths. "Ok?" I ask, putting my hand over his, feeling the cold metal in between the little gaps of our fingers.

He kisses me right under my jaw, the surprise causing my knees to weaken a bit, but his arm wraps around my waist standing me back up straight with a chuckle that seems to shake his whole body. "Distract away."

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**Well hello again! Sorry it was so short, it would have been to long to combine with the next chapter. Ok so to get a sneak peak at exerts from future chapters, leave me a review, the more depth to you review, the more likely you are to receive a peak. Please keep being so amazing, and remember I'm always here to talk to you about anything.**

**I love you guys, D**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hi everyone. Than you for all the reviews and support, please keep them coming! I recognize that this is an extremely short chapter, so if I get 25 reviews today I'll update the second number 25 comes in, if not, then as scheduled on Saturday (ch 31 is a lemon btw). So let me know what you think. Read it, enjoy it, don't enjoy it, I don't care, at least my cat sometimes likes me... *Danielle stop being weird, just let them read your fucking chapter* k bye. *snuggles***

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(Tobias)

Tris's hands and feet seem to hop effortlessly to one rung after another, not a care in the world, she looks down at me and smiles, slowing. "Do you want to try looking down?" She asks, obviously loving the adrenaline coursing through her, her eyes alight with flames, the only thing thawing the numbness that had frozen my breathing in place. I smile, watching her face for a moment, "I don't know, I've got a pretty good view right here" I say, nodding towards her rear, only a few inches away from my chest.

She flicks my bicep, sticking her tongue out at me. I hold a hand up in mock defence and let our usual banter bringing me back into my normal self. "Hey I told you I brought you as a distraction." I say, smiling up watching as her cheeks flush ever so slightly. She just rolls her eyes, then exhales and twists her shoulders and arms so she can sit on a rung facing me. Her eyes pour into mine, not as if to communicate with me, but to just stare at them. Absentmindedly she raises a finger and begins to trace my lips. "You're fascinating. Here you are facing your fear, but you chose to ignore it, not willing yourself to advance." She whispers to herself. I reach up and press her palm against my cheek, breathing in her scent.

"The second I look down... The second I face what's actually going on, it becomes real. I'm brave enough to put myself in this situation, but not smart enough to prosper from it." I say, resting my chin in the crook of her neck, closing my eyes. "Tobias, you're ridiculous. Of course your smart enough, the fact that you can realize how to gain from fears... It boggles my mind. You're just too damn stubborn. Look down and remember why you need to face this. Think of how much easier it will be next time." Tris says, her warm breath washing down my neck, wringing out the sudden chill.

I push back against the rungs, pulling myself to her eye level. Our lips meet momentarily, but I pull back, taking one deep breath, then slowly lower my head, every muscle in my body straining against its will. We're at least 20 stories high, nothing supports me but my own arms, which I can't feel, in fact I don't feel anything. There, I could lie in a matter of second dead, or even worse, Tris, could be in a crumpled heap, unmoving, never waking up or even-

The numbness fades, starting in my heart, and I look up to see a hand resting there. Tris. Tris is here. I look back down. Some feeling and warmth flows back into my arms, and I can hold onto the ladder again. The cool metal wakes me up. This isn't dangerous. I won't fall, even if I did jump, there are plenty of little bars I could slow myself down on, easily only breaking a few bones at the most. Tris is here. I stand on my legs again, my weight being pressed in a narrow strip that is the bar that supports me. Finally my fingers move, taking little chips of dead white paint with them. Of course I won't fall, this thing was made to support thousands of pounds, I could jump up and down and it wouldn't even shudder.

"Alright, ladies first. Top car." I say, prying my hand from the paint chipped metal, pointing to the very top of the Ferris wheel. She looks at me, complete amazement obvious in her mouth hanging open. When I don't say anything, she turns and begins to climb the rungs, one foot after another, in time with my steady heartbeat. The fear, the icy knifes driven in my back still stay, but it doesn't hurt anymore, it can't cripple me. Now it washes over me, urging me forward to get a better hit of the next surge. This isn't adrenaline. This is what it means to be Divergent.

This is why they're scared of us.

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**I get it, I get it! This chapter is insanely short. But so am I, so in a way, we just went from best i-don't-leave-my-house-unless-it's-for-food-so-instead-I-just-write/read-a-crappy-fanfiction-called-Daunted friends to I-might-share-my-bacon-with-you friends, which, in my books, is considered friends to best friends. Real world as in where I don't wear pajama so to school? Scary shit man, scary shit. *throws head back and cackles, but it eventually dies down into a "god I'm pathetic" giggle*. I love you guys, 25 reviews and I'll update. **

**XOXO D**


	30. Chapter 30

**25 Bitches! I'm sorry this is a short chapter as well, read my lame excuses below. Huge thank you to all of those who review, you keep me going. Also thank you to my editor thebigdog2895, if you haven't checked his stuff out yet (hehehe.. Sounded sexual in my contorted teenage mind) what are you doing with your life?! Oh you're going outside and experiencing life? I guess that's ok too...**

**just because I haven't said it in a while: I OWN NO RIGHTS TO THE DIVERGENT TRILOGY.**

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(Tris)

"We don't have to go any farther." I say. My legs finally relaxed on the little platform where the ladder ends, the only thing above us now is the steel wheel and it's skeletal-like cross crosses, from which dangle cars meant for passengers. "You sound like me." Tobias scoffs. When I just look at him, worry clouding my vision, he pushes past me, clamping his hands around the cold metal, traces from the earlier sun's heat hardly even linger, but every now and again you can feel warmth resting in the metal contraption.

He pulls himself up, his feet finding the nearest support, effortless for him, his black tank top showing bits of his tattoo contorted by the defined muscles of his back, leading up onto his arms. But, I can see he is biting his lip, so hard I'm sure he can taste the coppery blood trickle against his tongue. I snap out of my moment of admiration, and remember the icy needles that pierced my skin only nights ago. I can't let him go through that alone, for had it not been for him, I would still look at myself with fear in each glance.

"Nuh uh" I say, tugging gently on his leg, making him hop back down to the platform, a silent breath emptying itself from his chest. "You may be getting over this, but chivalry is not dead. Ladies first." I say. He forces a smile, but I can still see the unfamiliar de depth, like an ocean with no bottom, in his eyes, a new layer of blue, freezing over the normal spark which defines them. We climb for a few minutes, and I can see his knuckles turning so white their edges become undefined against the chipping paint of the bars he clutches so tightly.

How can I help him? My thoughts shift, from the adrenaline of defying death to that of an unanswerable question. How can I remain calm when we're in obvious danger this high up? Subconsciously I look down at Tobias, checking to make sure he is ok. That's it!

"Tobias. I can't go any higher than this." I say, looking down at him, trying to pull the best scared expression I can. "Tris? Tris look at me." He says, pulling my face to his, the depth of his eyes gone, his body moving more fluidly than it had since we stepped off the ground. He hugs me to his chest. "We don't have to go any higher than this. We can climb down now." He says, holding my hips to help me descend.

I stay in the same place, pretending to have frozen, looking up than looking down. I can tell from the little rustle behind me he does the same. "I need to Tobias. I told myself I would make it to that top car." I say, the pain I know I should feel obvious in my tone. "Then we'll do it. It's not far at all, one more minute of climbing tops. Just watch whee you put your hands. If you fell right now, you could easily catch yourself on one of the bars, it's practically like a net." He says, confidence creeping into his voice.

I start to climb, tentatively at first, carefully measuring each movement, but I feel Tobias pushing me forwards, his chest against my back, so I begin to speed up. This time, he does too. We reach the top car in a matte of minutes, breathing heavily as he pushes me into it, hoisting himself up with ease. We sit against the walls, and he pulls me into him, brushing his lips to mine for only second before whispering against them "you're a terrible actress you know."

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**For those of you not following my random number and profanity outburst, let me explain. I had posted yesterday (a short chapter) promising an update before scheduled (Thursday) if I got 25 reviews. So go you guys, power to the people and any other self righteous crap you can think of. Now, I'm sitting here banging my head against the wall because I'm an idiot. I thought this was going to be a long chapter, a reward as to speak, but no, it's only 700 words. IM A DISAPPOINTMENT. How dare I . I was going to combine ch 30 and 31 so you guys had some more substance, but ch 31 is a lemon and I don't want to just serve to hand those out like teenagers do their virginity *stop sounding like a such a society loathing bum you pessimistic arse* . I gotta make y'all work for lemons! So... 30 new reviews and I will post ch 31. Too demanding? I'm sorry, get over it, I'm grumpy today because my boyfriend wouldn't give me a belly rub. the arse is sitting there rubbing cat's belly like no tomorrow. Ok. Stop ranting self, shut up. Love you guys! *belly rubs you into a happy place where you review and tell me what you think***


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello my loves! So let me start out by thanking each and every one of you who reviewed, even though I did sort of force it out of you *evil cackles*, a lot of them were heart felt, a couple actually made me cry, and one inspired a lemon! I'm really touched that some of you guys are reaching out, and please do not forget I am here for you guys 24/7, I've been through some stuff and I'm still going through life, so never hesitate to talk to me, even if it's just to say hey. Although we did not quite make 30, we came super close, so I figured I would post the chapter first thing Thursday (which is now, here where I live). As alway, huge thanks to my editor thebigdog2895.**

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(Tris)

I study him, as he clutches onto me, his ragged breathing never slowing, the pulse under the soft skin of his neck continues at a hum at a bounce far too haste beneath my finger tips. He's panicking, but staying strong, solid, not letting himself break with his shattered insides. He's being brave. "Tobias?" I whisper into his neck. Our sweaty bodies pressed together seem to radiate heat and life back into the lifeless metal around us, the chilling night's breeze cooling us down slightly. He doesn't answer me, but the massaging nod of chin against my shoulder gives me his response.

"Do you mind if I go a little Erudite on you for a second? I have theory I think you might find... Appealing." I say, gently fluttering my lips against the sunken hollow of his neck. He remains stiff, holding me tight against him wrapped into a little ball. "Try me." He murmurs, his breath sending my hair billowing gently against my naked shoulder. "Well," I say resting my palms against his shoulders and pushing to sit myself up eye to eye with him. I feel the muscles in him harden under my movement, as if he were bracing himself for a blow that will never come.

"Well," I start again, looking him deep in the eyes, seeing the little veil of fear cloud my deep blue ponds of joy. I rub hands gently around and around his shoulders feeling as he little by little begins to relax again. "this" I say, motioning to the totality of the Ferris wheel, "is such a negatively perceived event in your mind. Each memory you will associate with it will be negative. But what if we could make you associate it with something a little more..." I lean in, letting my hot breath wash over him, "positive? Then maybe, just maybe, the thought of being where we are won't feel as bad. What do you think sir?" I finish, letting my lips hover right against his, no pressure, but the vibrations of my last words echo onto his lips.

He remains still, obviously trying to process what I just said. I don't give him time to over analyse, pulling off my sweaty shirt and letting it pool in a tired heap on the metal floor. His eyes automatically go to my chest, as if he has no control, but then, as a critique would a painting in a museum, he scrolls his eyes from top to bottom from my collar bones down to my hips, trailing his fingers in his gaze's path.

While he's a little bit distracted, I glide my hands along the thighs of his jeans, letting them rest near his zipper before continuing upwards, slipping my fingers under his shirt and sliding it up over his head. He doesn't seem to realize he's topless, and as much as I would adore a few measly minutes to marvel at his naked chest, I know I have to move on before the reality of our location can register with him again.

I go to kneel slightly to remove my pants, but my little movement causes the cart we're in to creak on its hinges, only slightly, but Tobias still notices it. I see all the muscles in his body stand on edge, as he clutches at the ground. I do the only thing I can think of.

I tear off my pants in one swift motion, then leap onto his lap, pushing his stiff back against the bench behind him. I press my lips to his, bringing my fingers up to his chin to pry his unresponsive jaw open. I bite his lower lip, tasting the blood he had shed on our climb up, but finally, when I flick my tongue into his mouth, tracing the roof of his mouth, He relinquishes a moan. He's still so still, but I wrap my hands around his wrists, his pulse still far too quick for the amount of drive he would be feeling otherwise, and guide his hands to my back, to the clasp of my bra more specifically.

His hands fall into place, his fingers numbly undoing each hook with the precision of loading a gun. My mouth trails down his jaw to his neck the his collar bone, and I slowly kiss my way from shoulder to shoulder. I can't give him time to stare at me, he'll eventually get bored and remember where we are. He shifts a little, pulling my knees towards him so our bare chests can press together, his hands then come up and rest on my hip bones, his fingers meeting behind my back. He starts to respond more and more, his mouth meeting mine, his tongue gliding against my mouth, and eventually his little bites against my neck.

Just as I begin to fumble with the buckle on his belt I hear it. The caw of a crow flying above us, then the screech of its talons against the roof of our car. I freeze, every muscle in my body seems to tighten, not being able to move. I feel the icy prickles of fear begin to start. The scraping sound rings in my ears, as the metal on my bare legs now turns to ice, what was once crisp sweet summer night air now rakes my lungs, as they fight to pull oxygen from it.

He must feel me shiver, because he reaches over and grabs his shirt, moving me like a doll. Once he let's go of my arms I collapse into him. The screeching pierces my ears, but Tobias doesn't seem to hear it. I take a deep breath, ridding my mind of the images of hundreds of birds cramming inside the car, and trying to replace them with pleasant ones. I start to feel a little warmth in my fingertips as Tobias holds me tight against him, so I bring them back to his belt buckle.

"Distract me." I whisper, my fingers fumbling with the metal of his belt, but finally I pull it off and let it fall limp at our side. He doesn't seem to understand, but en I look into his eyes, the thin ice of fear has cracked, and worry now lies in its place. I muster all the strength I can, and raise my arms into the air, letting the crisp breeze sway through them. Tobias's fingers lightly graze my hip bones, then he trails them up my sides, pulling his shirt with them. His fingers brush over every single rib of mine, every single crevice, but finally his shirt lies in a pool with the rest of my clothes and his belt.

The little pressure of his fingers touching my neck starts to register, and I can start to feel my limbs again. He gently pulls me towards him fits his lips delicately to mine, but I won't take it. I kiss him hard, opening his mouth and swirling our tongues together, running my fingers through his silky hair. I tug at his zipper and push his pants down with my feet, not letting his lips leave mine. Every movement I make is driven by wanting, need and lust, but is matched with his tentative cautionary ones.

I pull his boxers off and force him to remove my attempt-excuse-of-underwear (courtesy of Christina). I don't give him time to lie down, to think, or to let my mind wonder. He grabs my hips sensing the urgency and lifts me so I hover right over his erection. I gasp into his mouth as he slowly lowers me onto him, the familiar pinching sensation warming me through. He's so huge I can hardly handle it, but finally I reach his base. Our lips mash together hungrily, with the occasional moment to breath. I begin to familiarize his moans of lust with what he wants, and grind my hips gently against his, pushing him into me ways I've never felt before.

His hands fingernails trace light marks down my back, settling on my hips, as slowly he pulls me up and down over his member. Our breathing begins to quicken, each thrust bringing us both closer. His courage must flare because he flips us over so my hot back is pressed against the cool metal, fire on ice.

We kiss more and more passionately, as he rocks his hips with mine. "Tobias" I moan, as he begins to quicken the thrusts. My fingers trace each symbol on his back, each design reminding me of who we are, right here, right now. I can't hold on any longer and stifle a scream by biting into my bottom lip, as I feel my body fall quake like a leaf. A rush of heat surges through me and I collapse into the cool metal, whimpering as he empties himself into me.

Our foreheads press together as our breathing slows. And I slide my hand into his, giving it a tight squeeze. "I guess you're a pretty good distraction."

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**We like? We no like? We want to drive to my house and bring me Taco Bell? Thank you for all the awesome kind thoughts, I'm always here to talk. For those of you who asked: medically it is kinda looking downhill, depression is a major part of life, but hey, people go through ALOT worse. I'm so lucky to have you guys, and have this outlet to escape real life for a while.**

**PS: boyfriend grovelled at the amount of virtual belly rubs I received in the reviews, he and cat now sit sulking at me as I write this as they wait for me to make food will be compensated with cuddles.**

**PPS: (or is it PSS? I'm stupid, I get it) solely erotic fanfiction will be written when I get a moment, but I'm having trouble getting inspired with this fic right now and don't want to put the little energy I DO HAVE into something I'm not super passionate about.**

**Love you guys *goes in for a hug, but recipiant is expecting handshake. Ends in akward stomach jab***


	32. Chapter 32

**I know what you're thinking... Why so short? Why, oh why must you tease us with these lame excuses of "updates".what the fuck is this? Little story big world? ****Im sorry! im not happy about it either, and the next chapter isn't exactly mind blowing either (ch 34 though... I like it) . So again, unless I get insanely inspired today and write a whole bunch of chapters,(highly unlikely, I have 8 hours of gymnastic practice today and then work). Anyways, I hope you like it, I thought it was cute. I love you guys, and thank you to my editor thebigdog2895.****  
**

**ok. Food time. Read. Goodbye**

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(Tobias)

"Wake up Tobias" Tris's voice whispers in my ear, her breath hot on my neck. I keep my eyes shut, not letting the reality of life's pain and danger hit me yet. I lie shirtless, the sheets soft against my bare chest, there a barely noticeable amount of weight that starts at my shoulders and goes down to about my knees, like some sort of weighted blanket. But no, wait, blankets don't wiggle. Blankets also don't have hands that rub your shoulders.

"Tobias, you have a meeting in half an hour." She whispers, kissing the crook of my neck while her fingers absentmindedly trace each muscle in my back, kneading and rolling as they go. Her hands reach my side and I can feel her pull with all her might, willing me to roll over. I give in, groaning as I do so. Tris goes flying off the bed, obviously not prepared for me to relent so easily, landing with a light thunk on the floor. "Well excuse me for trying to be a good person and not letting you miss a meeting!" She laughs, jumping onto me, landing without making a sound, one leg on each side of my hips and her palms pressed against my chest.

"Hi" she says, her smile mirroring mine. "Oh hey there." I grumble, my voice scratchy and deep from sleep. I pull her down to me, her lips soft against mine. I open my mouth, but hers remains shut, her hands pressing hard against my chest. Finally I let her go, and she sits on my hips, loose strands from the knot on top of her head falling down against my T-shirt she wears. "How long did Zeke say it would be?" She asks, her hands tracing light circles on my stomach, trailing an electric current from her skin's touch to mine.

"He didn't know. Just said we'd have to do landscapes tonight. You up to go through mine?" I ask, mesmerized by the absent look on her face, untroubled by what waits outside for us. She nods her head, staring down at my chest, but no emotion reaches her face. Suddenly she looks up puzzled. "I still don't understand how there can be a new group of initiates in a month when my group just moved in yesterday."

She purses her lips, waiting for me to explain, but her fingers continue to trace over and over again, reaching up to my shoulders and resting on the tips of my tattoo. "Well" I say, interrupted by a yawn. "Every four years there's a leap year right? So the way it worked out, is that next years choosing ceremonies would fall on an important Amity holiday next year, but in law, we could delay it or advance it, so we have a few 16 year olds who were just too young to be in your group that have been chosen to undergo it. It's all really stupid in my opinion." I say.

Tris smiles down at me, her stomach wiggling a little bit from silent laughter. "Isn't everything really stupid in your opinion?" She teases, poking me in the chest. I grab her hips and flip her over, so I lie on top of her, her legs wrapped around my waist. "I wouldn't say everything. You're only kinda stupid for instance" I say, pressing my lips against hers. She giggles, then rolls off walking over to the dresser.

"How the hell are you so chipper?" I ask, as she pulls me out of bed, tossing me a pair of pants and a shirt once I'm on my feet. She doesn't respond, but instead walks towards the kitchen door. Just before the door clicks shut, I can't be sure, but I think I hear her whisper "I woke up to you".

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**Too stupid? Can someone please just come to my house with a cinnamon bun or something? I would be so happy. I got 5 people asking for my tumblr, and I apologize to szy I don't have one, or have time to create one for ya'll. Also, I just want to thank those of you leaving meaningful reviews (and the updatezzz... Thank you as well.) I read a few yesterday that really made me want to write because it sounded like you guys actually liked my story. They actually got me in such a write mood that I found myself bring my laptop to practice with me and pulling it out during stretch. I'm currently sitting with a mat ontop of my in splits, and I'm actually writing a chapter that made me cry. Emotions yo. So thank you for the support and love. I love all of you and please don't forget I'm always here to talk. Just a reminder I don't own anything Divergent**

**D**


	33. Chapter 33

(Tobias)

"Any questions?" The ruler snapping against my desk breaking me out of my daydream, turned nightmare as I realize Eric only sits a few seats away. It had been an hour now, the same continues snap of the heeled shoes of the uptight erudite as she walked around in circles, explaining the reasoning behind the early initiation. She looks just like the teachers from back when I went to school, a blue blazer and skirt, hair tied up in a proper bun on the top of her head, and glasses, which from the side you can see have no lenses.

"Alright then. I suggest you all embark upon the journey of the adjusted simulations soon, as the initiates, assuming you receive any, shall be expected to do so during your initiation if I am not mistaken." She pushes her glasses up her nose, sticking it up in the air, as if the sight of us was far too below her level. "You are all dismissed. Please prepare yourselves to your maximum ability, as the dauntless simulations targeting the area of the brain in which fear is triggered have changed dramatically. I assume I will see a handful of you at the choosing ceremony in a few weeks times. Goodbye."

I follow the flow of dauntless leaders and trainers, Lauren looking uncomfortable amongst them, funnel through the doorway to their day's responsibilities. I watch Eric, each step he takes, however heavy his limp be, is a step too many. My feet are taking me towards him before I can think it through, but before I come close enough for him to see me, Lauren rushes by me, halting right I front of him. She leans in and whispers something in his ear, a confused look growing on his face but he shakes his head and points her in the direction of the dauntless leaders offices. Oh well, I'll get a chance later.

"Four?" I hear a familiar voice yell from the other side of the pit just as I get to the bottom of the stairs. I turn, and see a grinning Christina towing a trudging along Tris, her jaw clenched and her eyes shooting daggers. "Four!" Christina breaks into a run, pulling Tris behind her who somehow still seems to stomp angrily, and I can see from where I walk towards them that she's subtly clawing at Christina's arm that pulls her.

Finally we meet, and Christina drops Tris's arm to wrap her arms around me. I just stand there awkwardly, staring at Tris, as she stands out of Christina's line of sight. She raises a finger and points to herself then me, then towards the direction of our apartment, then gives me a look that I could only describe as "now. Or so help me god I will murder every single human being on the planet". I pat Christiana's shoulder, as she steps back, then clear my throat to speak, but she interrupts me.

"This is so perfect! I was thinking we could hit up the lingerie place next, Will was going to meet us there..." She rambles on but we just ignore her. I waggle my eyebrows at Tris at the mention of lingerie, but she just raises her hands around her throats and proceeds to gag herself. Quickly, before Christina can notice, I grab Tris's hand and pull her to my side, draping an arm around her tiny frame. I cut Christina off. "Sorry, but I actually need to steal her to get her to actually unpack he bags into the drawers. See you later though" I finish, turning us both on our heels before she can protest or offer to help.

"You're quite amusing Ms. Prior." I say, as we walk together towards our place. "I'm going to kill someone." She mutters between clenched teeth, but I can tell now that she's out of the main shopping area she's started to cool down. I think of something to distract her. I reach for the keys as we get back home, and unlock the door, shoving her in ahead of me.

"So we're doing each other's fear landscapes after lunch. Then you're going out with me and the guys. Not an option." I say, the image of Tris just sulking in bed all afternoon, or even worse, Christina coming back and dragging her out and about is far too realistic.i walk over to the bed and lie down, patting the spot next to me. She stomps over and curls up next to me, her little body fitting perfectly into mine as I wrap around her. Then we do the most un-dauntless thing in history.

We cuddle.


	34. Chapter 34

**Hello amazing readers! Its me, the aforementioned boyfriend. I'm sad to say your author has gotten into a pretty bad spell health wise, and won't be able to upload or write for the next little while. When these things happen to the munchkin, they can last anywhere from a couple hours to a week, and it's been about 2 days now. She's cuddled up asleep next to me right now. When I teased her today she was able to flip me the bird, which takes a huge amount of strength and thought for her at this time, which is a super good sign that hopefully she will be back to herself soon. So hopefully munchk will be back for your next update! **

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(Tris)

Each breath I draw out seems to be more difficult and uneven than the last, but I turn off my senses, letting my body take over, not willing to feel the pain. "Tris." His voice calls me from the other side of the training room, but I keep going, rep after rep. Tobias's even foot steps jog to where I stand, plucking the weights from my hands as if they were nothing but a daisy,and tossing them in the approximate direction of the rest of the weights. "We're leaving. We need to face the simulations."

I'd been hiding out in here for as long as I could, my muscles seizing in protest, my back drenched in sweat. But Tobias had caught on, and I guess he found me. "Tris... Let's go." He says, pleading a little bit. I can tell by the spray his lips curl around the word simulations that he is dreading this as much as I am, maybe even more than I am, but still he pushes, constantly bettering himself. I cock my head to the side and look at him. It's selfless to better yourself only in the end goal to better others. In fact, it may be the most selfless thing I've ever witnessed.

"Alright. Have it your way then. " he says shrugging his shoulders before lunging at me and sweeping me over his shoulder in one smooth motion, so sudden I can't react. I struggle, kicking and hitting his back, the whole five minutes it takes to get up and into the Pire, but finally, when I can feel the warm air of the outside world, leaving the pit behind us, I relax, sinking into him. His breathing is still steady the slow rise and fall of his back gently sways me, regardless of the fact that he just ran up an seemingly endless flight of stairs.

"Tobias?" I ask staring blankly at his back. "Mhm?" He replies, a little bounce in his step now that I've settled into him, hugging my arms around his stomach. "Do you realize how often you would have to actually use your big boy words if I we're big enough to stand a chance against you?" He chuckles, the vibrations off of his back tickling my cheeks. "Do you realize how often you would have to fight me?" He answers. His grip has loosened, no longer pinning my legs down to his front, so I slowly wriggle up, pushing my hands on his back.

"I'm not letting you down. I may be able to fight you but there's no way I can catch you." He says, his grip tightening again. "I'm just trying to hug my boyfriend, is that such a crime you blundering Neanderthal?" I say, pulling my legs apart and wrapping them around him, pulling myself around so he holds the back of my legs, and my arms wrap around his neck. Resting my head against his shoulders. Each breath laced with his intoxicating scent.

He laughs again, but this time he ends it with a light graze of his lips against the sensitive skin on my neck. He stops walking, and little butterflies of hope swirl. I begin to strategize plans of escape once he's too consumed in me, but the second he sets me on my feet, his lips are wrenched away from my skin and an iron grip is placed around my bicep. "Don't even try it." He murmurs, nudging the simulation room door open with his foot. We walk in, and suddenly a million of our doubles surround us, mirroring our every movement.

Tobias's stiffens at my side, his arm pulling tight on me without him even realizing. Hs eyes frantically scan our reflections, and I can feel his quickened pulse against my arm. "Tobias. Tobias!" I shout, waving my hand in front of his vacant expression. He snaps outof his caging thoughts, looking down to me. "Sorry... I just got reminded of a nightmare I had." He says awkwardly. He let's go of my hand, locking the door behind us, then he walks over to a cabinet, coming back with two syringes.

"Zeke already did it today with Shauna as his partner. She said that you feel the fear of the other person, still as yourself, but you feel tortured, being so frightened of something you have no validation for. I'm guessing we'll still be able to know its a simulation, but we might get... Unsure at times." He says as he hands me the syringe, exposing his neck. I do the same, and we place the needles at each other's necks. We slide them in, only a little pinch and then it's over. Tobias grabs my hand and sits against the wall, pulling me into his lap.

"I love you"

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**I just want to thank all of you for reading and making girlfriend's life better. I've known her since she was 3 and I've seen her become the amazing person she is. When she got sick, it seemed like part of her was gone. Then one day, she came into our bedroom grinning from ear to ear, brandishing a lovely review from one of her readers. I didn't even know she was writing this story (she still won't let me read it, grrr) but when she read the amazing review to me, she lit back up, just like she used to. She still hates the fact that she'll never be able to live life like she used to, but I'm so proud of her for doing this. She's really an amazing person, she cares so much about all of you, always worrying about ways she can reach out more. She's been through so much, and for her to still be this ball of love, compassion and joy is just the most remarkable thing. The few reviews that have come in recently and that I've read to her today have made her smile like you wouldn't believe, one even bringing tears. So thanks. You guys gave the girl I love something no one else could.**

**Sorry for the shitty notes, I'm not used to this, but I know she would kill me if I didn't update for her. **

**Boyfriend**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hi there guys! Alas it is me again, D's boyfriend. Thank you guys so much for all your loving comments and messages, about her an the story, I've been reading them to her and the way she jus tights up... It's phenomenal. She's fighting insanely hard against this, and this morning she was able to beat me in a tickle fight (she totally cheated by the way, misuse of distracting the opponent with lips) and she's talking and laughing. She's not quite at the point where she can form intricate sentences, but Im certain this will be the last of me, she's going to be back for your Saturday update. She told me to give you all a big hug from her, and that she's sorry about this chapter, she knows you're going to hate her...? Please don't hate girlfriend. She thanks her editor thebigdog2895 and says she doesn't own any divergenty rights.**

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I throw my arm back, bracing Tris against the wall before she can fall. Her sneakers squeak against the little ledge of metal we stand on. Below us, nothing but darkness, although I think I can make out a few jagged rocks. Under my palm, Tris's stomach clenches, and she twitches. Her head searches frantically, trying to look behind her, but she's only met with the smooth mirror that composes the building we stand on, the harsh sunlight reflected right into our faces, and onto our backs pressed against it.

"Tris, calm down. We can break the glass. Just stay still," I order. Her breaths come in short little bursts. I slam my fist against the glass, but I can't hit it full force without being lurched forwards, off the ledge. "Wait," she says. She puts her hands gently on my hand that pins her against the building, pulling it off her gently. I give in, dropping it to my side, but still ready to reach out. I try to slow my breathing, figuring out a strategy to get off the roof without dying. Tris peels off her black tank top.

She tosses it off the building, standing only in her bra. Even in the death defying situation, a rosy blush creeps into her cheeks. She pats the side, searching for something, her eyes trained ahead of her, refusing to look down. "Here," she says, handing me a knife from her bra. I return my hand to her bare stomach, pushing her back against the wall. I slam the knife into the mirror behind us, my hand shaking in unison with Tris.

I clench my teeth, looking up at the sky. But my ears are greeted with the sweet sound of shattering glass. I look down, and a whole pane has been broken. I lift my hand from Tris's and push her through, then follow. Little cuts cover Tris's back I note, but once we're inside I can calm down and clean her up. The moment my feet touch the ground inside the building, I can breath.

Tris inhales deeply, her hands on her knees, bent over. I shrug off my T-shirt and throw it at her, but she ignores it. Instead, her eyes stare at the wall in front of her. I follow her line of sight, and see why her face is so blank. We slowly walk to each other, our fingers lacing together instinctively. We watch the wall begin to move closer in, closing us in, and with each second ticking by, we seem to be pressed tighter together. "We need to stop them," Tris whimpers, but instead of us bracing against the wall, we just press tighter against each other.

I pull her into me, her bare back against my chest. I look down at her quaking body, watching her chest fall and rise far too rapidly. But wait, her boobs... "Tris. Tris. Tris!" I say spinning her around, her arms grazing the walls as I do. "You didn't put that bra on today, did you?" Her gaze meets mine, one eyebrow raised out of confusion. "That's not the bra you wore today was it? You didn't change did you? Do you think we might be in a... You know," I ask, cut off by the cool wall pressing harder and harder against us. Her eyes look down at her chest, then after a moment, her head snaps back up a realization dawning upon her face, eyes alight with the flame of adrenaline. "No. No, I didn't. This is a simulation" she whispers.

But at that moment, my knees buckle under the crushing ceiling pushing us down. Tris's face turns to panic momentarily, but she shakes her head, as if to rid herself of the worry. "Come here," she says, pushing against me and pulling me down into a ball, holding her practically bare torso against me. "Think of something else," I say, as I feel her stiffen against me. We sit in an indistinguishable knot, and she breathes heavily against my neck while I clutch her to me. "I want to make chicken for dinner," she says, her fingers trembling on my chest. For a moment, I imagine her dancing around cooking, and I'm not in a tiny little box. "Really?" I ask, but before she can respond, the walls around us break free and we topple over, her landing on my chest.

She breathes a huge sigh of relief into my chest, her heart still quick against me, but controlled. "Yeah, but let's figure that out later," she says. We lie in the hallway that lies in every Abnegation house, the one that leads to the sitting room. The one where Marcus waits. Before we can unscramble ourselves, the door swings open, Marcus's outline stands there, shadowing the little light that lets me see Tris. Her eyes close and she inhales deeply, then stands.

"You whore! Get away from my son! And you Tobias, have you no shame? What in the world is wrong with you? Come here," Marcus shouts, his hand raised, ready to hit Tris across the face. I move to pull her out of the way, but she places her foot across my chest, shoving me down.

"It's a simulation Tobias. Close your eyes," she says, wavering slightly, as she pulls another knife from the side of her chest. "Tris no. It will still feel like you're killing someone. Don't. I can handle it." She turns, determination and fear setting her expression. "I can't watch you handle it," she says, then thrusts the knife into Marcus's leg. She grabs my hand pulling me up and we run through the door.

She trips, pulling me down with her. I look back and see what she tripped on. A gun. I grab it, the cold metal familiar in my grasp. Before she can realize what's going on, I push her to the ground and press the barrel against my skull, pulling the trigger just as I hear her scream.

I wake from the simulation, gasping and scanning the room. We sit together, Tris limp against my body. "Hey. It's ok. Im here. It's over," I say, rubbing her back. But she doesn't stir. I pull her back and her head falls back. I quickly press my fingers to her neck.

There's no pulse.

* * *

**So i had to share this because she's too cute not to (I'm sure she's going to smack me and delete all my notes the second she can). So munchkin is fast asleep on top of me right now "better than a mattress" and she has been for a few hours now. About fifteen minutes ago she woke up looking terrified and confused. And searching the room for someone then she looked under up and saw me, her face flooded with relief and she, I kid you not, goes "oh thank god! The bunnies aren't even her yet!" Then she falls right back to sleep. It was pretty adorable. Alright, thanks guys for reading her piece, I'm sure it's amazing!**

**goodbye for now **


	36. Chapter 36

**My babies! Ok, so I know you guys just all want to know if Tris is dead or not, so imma put my blurb at the end. Thanks to my editor thebigdog2895 and I don't own any rights associated to the divergent trilogy. Enjoy!**

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(Tris)

The usual feeling of being pulled from a cold pond travels through me, as I finally finish the simulation. I'm still screaming, the sight of seeing Tobias press the barrel to his head was too much. Finally I calm myself down, looking up, and seeing we've moved. I lie where the same distance from Tobias as when he pushed me but now he sits, just as we did before the simulation. Odd. Maybe that's a new affect of the simulation, that you move around more. Funny, Zeke didn't mention anything.

" Are you alright? I ask, walking over to him, sitting next to him. He stirs, looking right through me. No, not through me, but right in front of me. His arms move, avoiding the space directly in front of him, and he hugs the air, as if someone sat there. As if I sat there. "Tobias?" I ask, but he doesn't register my voice. "Hey. It's ok. Im here. Its over." He says reassuringly. I turn my head and look at the monitor. The red light signalling a simulation in progress blinks slowly, the same rhythm as Tobias's heart.

Tobias is staring shocked, two fingers held in the air, his expression turning from reassuring to terrified. "Tris." He whispers. He stands, holding two hands out as if to carry something. "TRIS!" He shouts, his voice echoing off the walls. "Tobias." I say, stepping in front of him resting my hands on his shoulders, but he continues to shout my name, over and over again. What the hell is going on?

"Tobias! Tobias I'm right here" I say hurriedly, my voice seeping with urgency, pressing my palms to his cheeks. He turns, not shrugging me off, completely unaware of me. He moves his hands a bit and one of his shoulders slump slightly as if carrying a weight. He runs faster than I've ever seen him move, towards the computer but stops a few feet to the left of it. His fingers move, as if he were typing on the keyboard and his eyes scan the imaginary screen. "No" he whispers so quietly I have to strain to hear him. He steps back, moving his arms and setting his imaginary load down. "No!" He yells, he storms towards the wall, punching and kicking.

I run at him, grabbing his balled up fist, but he's to strong and punches at the wall with my hand wrapped around his. I feel bones shatter inside, but I ignore the shooting pain. Tobias's body shakes, but he continues to punch at the wall. "Get her back!" He growls, but I can tell he's not talking to anyone. Blood splatters his shirt, dripping from his arms and hands. "Tobias!" I scream, jumping on his back and pulling his arms behind him with all my strength, wrapping my legs and arms around them to keep them pinned. He doesn't register my weight, but his arms don't pull after a while, only his yells continue.

He turns back to where he had set the simulated object down, his knees buckling under him. "No" he yells, his voice cracking at the end. His breathing is completely ragged, sending his chest into spasm like sobs. He lies down next to whatever he sees, "please come back. Please." He whispers, a single tear rolling down his face. He tries to stand again, but I pin him down, not letting him hurt himself again.

"It's ok. I'm here" is all I can say, running my fingers through his hair, my throat raw from screams that had dragged their jagged claws out of me. I glance back at the monitor and the light blinks far too rapidly. Tobias slumps farther to the ground, all strength leaving his body. I pull his arm up and slide in front of him as he lays on his side, staring right through me, hyperventilating. There's no way to stop a simulation once it starts, so I just have to pray he can overcome whatever this is.

I wrap my arm around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. "I'm here. You're ok." I whisper over, and over again until the the words blur together with my tears and the falling darkness.

* * *

**Ok, so let me resume: MY BABIES! * runs and jumps into big bear hug that makes us fall over* I missed you guys so much and I am so so so sorry I haven't been around the last couple updates. I know whenever I talk about my health you guys are just rolling your eyes, but for the handful of you who we're messaging me insanely: I'm ok, getting a lil but worse, but I'm out of a crappy that little swell. So that means that boyfriend might have to do an update here or there for crappy swells (reminder updates are Tuesday Thursday Saturday and Sunday). I also got super behind in my writing so unless INSANE amounts of thoughtful reviews happen, that schedule will be strictly followed. I know these past few chapters have been confusing, but soon you'll be like "oh... So she's not just a complete idiot, she actually had some plot in mind.. Hmm" *self five*. I know I don't let boyfriend read this *muahahaha's at evil girlfriendness* but I want you guys to know how thankful I am for him. Basically we've been best friends since I was 3 and he was 5 (dating an older man, what can I any, I'me just a good for nothing hoe ;P) and I don't think there's been a day in my life since where he hasn't made me smile, and I think he was just tickled pink when ya'll started "shipping" us (he had to urban dictionary that one when people started commenting it). I'll be super surprised if anyone actually read this while blurb, who do I think I am writing a lil diary, you guys just want Tobias to tie tris up and sexity sex to happen (it does happen).**

**So I love you guys, and boyfriend nods hi.**

**muah**

**D**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hayyy. I'm pretty much back to normal now, so hoorah. *major happy dance* to those of you saying I need to stop posting *'s instead of swear words, Im really quite sorry, I don't mean to but the editing process (PMing) does that and I get a bad headache if I retread my stuff too closely. So please either message or review what chapter and paragraph I mess up on and I will go back and fix it. Sowwy *tries to be cute but ultimately fails, probably messing it up with a burp or something*. imma need your advice on something but I don't want this blurb to get to long, so read below. Thanks to my editor the bigdog2895. Love you guys!**

* * *

(Tris)

A wall smacks into my head, jolting me upright. "Nice one sleeping beauty," Tobias murmurs in the dark. I strain my eyes in the blackness, but I can't make out anything. Tobias moves from under me and flicks on a light. We're in our bed back home, no wall against my head, no simulation. "What did I just hit my head on?" I ask, rubbing my forehead with my knuckles, peering up at his face. I look down and realize my hand is covered in salve and bandages.

I peer up at him, the deep shadows cast by the bedside light make him look tired, but I can see the strain on his face to keep a smile. "My stomach you idiot. You rolled over in your sleep and decided to head butt me while I just sat here," he says, forcing a laugh out of himself.

He reaches to pull me close to him, but I see his arm, cut, bruised and bloody from where he hit the wall. "Let s get you cleaned up," I say groggily, standing and walking towards the bathroom. I turn on the water and wait for it to turn warm. I grab a basin from under the sink and begin to let it fill with warm water, then walk over to the medicine cabinet and grab some gauze and towels.

I return, arms full, to Tobias who sits on the bed with his back against the wall, he stares at me. "Give me your arm," I command, sitting on his lap and placing the things I carry on the ground. I grab a small towel, dunking it in the warm water then begin dabbing at his arm. "Do I have to ask?" I say, not looking away from the gash I work on.

Tobias shifts uncomfortably but finally breathes. "I... I guess the simulation wouldn't work if you were still there for my last fear, so it sent you back out," he says. I look up at him, his eyes staring at mine as he chews on his lips. "I guessed that much. I mean why did you have a fifth fear? What was it?" I ask, dipping the towel back into the basin and watching the water turn pink from the blood. I wring it out then start again on a new cut.

"I can't talk about it," he answers, his bottom lip beginning to bleed. I reach out and pinch his lip, staring him right in the eye. "Then you better not expect me to go through that simulation again. I had to watch you torture yourself for hours. What the f*** happened?" I retort, getting angry.

"I... Oh god," he says, staring ahead as if recalling the memory caused him physical pain. "After I shot myself, the four fears were over. So when I came to in the simulation room, I was so sure that I had finished. We were in the same position as we started, and I pulled you back to talk to you... And ... You.. And you were..." he stammers, biting his lip again. He shuts his eyes tightly for an instant taking a deep breath then meeting my eyes.

"You were dead. I tried to open the door for help, but it was locked, so I started slamming against it. Eventually, my arms couldn't move anymore. I was so sure it was real. I came over to where you lay-" I cut him off, dropping the towel into the basin and hugging him around the neck so tight I'm sure he can't breath but I don't care.

It was me. I was what he wanted back. "You really do love me," I say, pulling back and wiping the tear that had escaped my eye. "What are you talking about?" he says, looking appalled. "When we were in the simulation, every move we made our physical bodies did too. When I came too, you were still in... I... The way you freaked out, I was sure it had to be something you loved so much, but I had no clue what. When you couldn't move your arms anymore, that was me pinning your arms back to keep yourself from hurting yourself more," I say, gesturing to his arms.

"It took me having to see you die to really convince you that I love you?" he says, his voice barely a whisper. His eyes squint and he looks scared, sad, and more than anything, disappointed. I grab his face in my hands forcing him to look me in the eyes. "I know you love me, of course, I just never... Well. Look at you. Really look at you and think of all the amazing things you can do, and have done. Then look at me. I'm sixteen, awkward, and I can hardly fight for the life of me," I say, looking at him in astonishment. "Now that I know that you had that reaction... It makes me feel like you love me almost as much as I love you. I never could have imagined that."

I exhale, looking deep into his dark blue eyes. He pulls me into him, clutching me so tightly I can't breath. But I don't care. I grab him like he's the only thing anchoring me to this earth, and he may as well be. "You're my world Tris," he murmurs, brushing his lips against my ear. "You're my everything," I say, pulling myself in even tighter, wrapping my legs around him. "I love you," he says, loosening his arms around me.

I smile up at him. "I guess you're alright," I say, before crushing my mouth against his smile.

* * *

**We like? We no like? We secretly fish just flopping on the keyboard and installing false hope of viewership? Lemme know. Ok so: a lot of people have been commenting that I need to make longer chapters, and that's not a problem for me, in fact I would prefer that (makes me feel all novel-y and shit). But that brings up two problems**

**1)I fell behind in my writing, so that would mean I would need to dedicate even more time that I don't have to this story. Meaning the solely erotic fanfic would probably never happen (I'm sorry, i know its not out yet, gimme a while)**

**2)when I do have crappy spells, there may not be anything for boyfriend to update with because I might not have written anything in advance, leaving ya'll without this story for a week or so.**

**so either I stick to shorter chapters like these or I make them longer and update fewer times a week. What do you think?**

**snuggles D**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey sexy. Yes you. Como estas? Damn it's like I'm some smokin lil spaniard or something *laughs turn into sobs at how typical I am, reaching for some KFC* but hey, holler to my readers in Mexico and Spain (yes, I see you). Ok so I'm kinda breaking my update schedule because it Wednesday night, but Im feeling a lil crappy and I don't know if I'm going to wake up in the morning. Sorry babes, but hey, more one on one time between you and boyfriend. Thanks to my editor thebigdog2895, enjoy. (I realize that is in no way a sign off, but it's a miracle I'm writing right now, not knocked out)**

* * *

(Tobias)

"Finally! Prince Charming steps away from his queen," Zeke slurs, opening his arms wide and accidentally smacking some guy from work in the face. I close the door behind me, walking over and plopping down on the couch next to him. "Throw me one," I call to Uriah who stands by the cooler in the centre of the room. I catch the beer with ease, twist off the top and let the cold ale flow down my throat.

"So glad you could finally take a break from stickin' it to the stiff and join us bro," Zeke says, squeezing my shoulder and sloshing a bit of his drink on my shirt. Suddenly, I'm glad Tris convinced me to let her stay home, so I have an actually excuse to leave. I take another swig of my beer, but entertain him with a little laugh. I recognize the few guys who litter the room here and there. Most of them are people who work up around the control and surveillance rooms, with the exception of Will and Uriah, who I'm sure will be starting their training there soon, if they haven't already.

"Alright alright. Now that Four's here I got something great to announce," Zeke says, slurring every once in a while, but with a serious tone in his voice. "May all the gentlemen in this room and Uriah raise your beers, because we are free of the reign of the b***!" he says, thrusting his arm into the air. We all look at each other confused, and finally some guy, I think who's name is Thames, asks "The f*** are you talking about man?" Zeke stands, and walks in a large circle, turning to face all of us.

"I just got word earlier today that Lauren quit!" he says, letting his head flop back in delight, causing him to stumble, but Will catches him. "Man, she was hot though!" Uriah complains. "You didn't have to handle the b*** every single day. So why did she quit?" Thames asks. Zeke looks at us with an attempt to keep humour off his face. "Apparently she didn't 'feel comfortable being in the work place with certain employees. I'm pretty sure she just had a huge lady boner for Four though. Way to go buddy, you ridded us of the beast," Zeke says with a huge grin plastered on his face, nodding his head in my direction.

I cough, the laughter coming on mid gulp, causing me to choke a little bit. "That's fuck great!" I say, a little too enthusiastically, taking another swig. "But who's going to take her place?" I ask. Zeke's smile consumes half of his face, "Well gentlemen, and Uriah," he says. "Fuck you," Uriah crops in, but Zeke continues, ignoring him. "That's the best part... You are looking at the new dauntless born initiate trainer!" Zeke finishes, holding his arms out and puffing out his chest. The room erupts in whoops and stomping of feet, as I stand and pull him into a bone crushing hug.

After we settle down, and I'm handed my second beer, Will pipes up: "But wait. Doesn't Dauntless law require a female initiate trainer for equality shit or something?" he asks. Zeke rubs his head, as if trying to remember something. "Um yeah. They're kinda fucked because no girl wants to do it. So I think they're going to try to recruit someone to basically do what Eric did last year in terms of the initiates. They have no clue who though," he grumbles, shrugging his shoulders.

Just as he sits next to me, the door bursts open and a few more guys come in, obviously already pretty fucked out of their minds. "Who's ready to get fucked pansy cakes!" one of them yells, brandishing a few bottles of vodka.

* * *

**Sorry it's so short, I'll try to (or I'll leave a note for boyfriend) to update again tomorrow. Also, for those of you who are like "Jesus, seriously? Another instructor story?" *sassy eye roll with pursed lips* BITCH PLEASE. I gots me a purpose bend my terribly predictable actions. Ok, goodnight, I hope you all dream of mashed potato hills with gravy fountains (seriously, bring me food and I will love you forever). Night night!**

***creepy kiss where I give you a lil sniff as well* from D**


	39. Chapter 39

***skips through a flowery field and twirls you around in arms, accidentally spinning you too fast and flinging you to the ground* god I'm clumsy. Ok, so writing this chapter was hilarious because basically this exact thing happened with boyfriend a few months ago... And he's now trying to wrestle me into deleting this note because he's "too manly" to be this publicly romantic, even if he was... Ery, let's just say a little bit out of it. I reign supreme with master fighting skills aka:I'm hiding in the closet. But the second I upload this, I promise you guys, I shall defend my title of "tickle fight master" (I read his notes... He's such goof I DID NOT CHEAT, I uphold my title with honour)**

**Ok, go read and please let me know what you think in a review, I need some criticism guys!**

* * *

(Tris)

The slamming sound of the door against its frame bolts me upright. I straighten up, my back aching from the awkward position I had fallen asleep in while reading, but when I turn, the pain disappears the moment I see what woke me. The sheets rustle, familiar against my bare legs, as I wriggle over and flick on the bedside light. Dim shadows cast over Tobias, his back leaning against the wall as he fumbles for the light switch. The lights blossom and I rub my eyes to adjust to the brightness, and by the time I look up, Tobias stands right in front of me.

"Hey?" I say, waving my hand in his face, questioning his slanted stance. He just stares at me, squinting his eyes as if trying to see me through a fog. "You're so hot Tris," he says, slurring a little bit, a wave of alcohol tainted breath catching me sharp in the face. I laugh, realizing he's drunk. This will be interesting. "Alright. Let's go get some water into you," I say, pushing myself off the bed and grabbing his hand. The muscles in my arm have to strain as I dig my heels into the ground and pull him, but he doesn't even notice.

"No. Let's do something fun... Let's get a puppy," he says, wrapping his hand around my wrist and yanking me into him. "Tobias, it's 2 in the morning," I grumble into his chest. "That sounds like a challenge, Stiff," he says, raising an eyebrow and grabbing my hips, lifting my feet off the ground to where our eyes meet. "What are you talki-" I manage to say before his arms tense momentarily and he tosses me onto the bed, jumping so close beside me I can feel his body heat radiate against my arm.

I start to sit up, but he rolls over, one knee on either side of my hips and a single finger on my chest, pinning me down. He stares at me again, confusion washing over his expression. His back slumps a little bit as he loses himself in thought, and reaches up to rub his chin. "Why me?" he whispers to himself, shaking his head subconsciously, his fingers lathing themselves from the crook of his jaw down to my lips.

The familiar coarse skin of his fingers turn to velvet, as they travel their way down from my lips, pulling delicately on my bottom lip, the skin of which is cracked and dry from the tremendous amount of heavy breathing and sweating of the past few days. "Tobias. Come here, let's get you to bed," I say, placing my fingers on the hand he uses to press me into the mattress.

He shakes his head again, one eyebrow raising up, his lips parted just slightly. He reminds me of our encounter the last time he was drunk, near the chasm. So much had changed since then. I had never dreamed that I could reach out and clasp the shirt that had clung to his back as he walked away from me, only to be treated with his arms encasing me, challenging. Every bad thought I had ever had, every moment of pain I had ever felt; I would give it all, just to be in his arms.

"How could you not hate me? After everything I put you through?" he says, swallowing, his head still wobbling from side to side in disbelief. "Tobias, what are you talking about?" I ask, pulling his hand on my chest to the side and rolling over quickly so I pin him to the bed. His chest rises and falls, bringing me up but never seemingly back down again. The warmth of his chest brings me back to warm days as a child where I could just lie in the summer sun, watching the rays pool beside me, breathing in the sweet air of innocence.

Our eyes peer into the other's and all I see is my Tobias, selfless, brave, smart, honest, and kind. "I pushed you, I would break you and hurt you just to see you get back up. Every time you pushed yourself back against what I did, I was sure I would have lost you. But I didn't. And I can't stop pushing you because every part of you that I watch shatter just builds up a different part of you," he says, one of his hands lazily following down the crevice of my spine, resting in the dip of my lower back.

"Tobias, I love you. Every time I shatter the only thing that helps me rebuild is the thought that you'll be the one to break me next time. And every time I watch you tear yourself apart, just know that a piece of me is torn as well. Now please, we can talk about this when we get up, but can you please just lie down," I say, rolling off of him and walking towards the dresser. He nods and changes into the pyjama bottoms I chuck at him.

I come back from the kitchen with a glass of water and hand it to him, then quickly change into his shirt that I've adopted as my own. I crawl in beside him and he pulls me right into him as he lies down. My head lies on his chest and rises and falls to the rhythm of his breaths. "Promise you'll always be there to shatter me?" I ask, closing my eyes and breathing him in. His hand goes to my hair and pulls it free of its elastic. "As long as you'll always let me be the one to mend you," he says, running his fingers through my hair and down my neck.

* * *

**Forgot to say up above: check out my awesome editor thebigdog2895 he published a great lemon recently. On the note of lemons, I am planning to tie up Tris soon in my writing but I'm quite far ahead, so you guys won't read it for a while. I have a long weekend so I'm hoping to write ahead in the story as well as get started on the lemon story. So yay.**

**Ok, so I'm still laughing, re-reading this. This chapter is basically how we ended up getting cat (He got me into a similar state after our deep conversation and then we went down to our local shelter... Now we have cat!). So hugs from the happy family (even though I'm shoved between a broom and a shoe rack).**

**XO,**

**Hiding D and cat in my lap**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey there! How you guys doing? Ok, so I'm sure a lot of you guys got where I was going with instructors in chapter 38, if not I won't spoil anything, but that's basically what this chapter is. I've been trying to catch up on my writing but I'm falling into a bit of a bad spell right now, so updates might not be coming from me (I'll try to get someone to update though, don't worry). thank you to my editor thebigdog2895. **

**I love you guys, and thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

(Tobias)

The door swings open heavily on its hinges as each footstep I take pounds in my head, bouncing around into a dull numb ache. A waft of frying bacon and sizzling eggs passes over me as the door slams shut behind me, ringing through my skull. "Well look who it is!" Tris exclaims, twirling on her toes and prancing over towards me with a cup of coffee steam rising up and clouding the shine of the pearls draped across her neck, hanging flush against the black dress that hugs her torso.

She smiles up at me as I take the mug from her, a taunting edge to the way her mouth curves. "How's that head of yours treatin' ya?" she says, innocently cocking her hip to one side and tilting her head to the other. I grab her by the waist and pull her up to me, skimming her lips over mine, then gently tossing her up into the air and letting her land lightly on her feet. "Better now," I say. She just rolls her eyes and grabs my hand, pulling me over to the frying pan and handing me a metal spatula for the bacon.

"Why are you up and dressed so early?" I ask, my voice still scratchy from last night. "It's 1 in the afternoon you idiot. I had to run to the shops to grab some food," she laughs, motioning to the pans in front of us.

"So. How was last night?" Tris asks, crossing her legs in her chair as she cuts into her eggs on her plate. "It was fine. Actually, I have some good news," I say, biting off a piece of bacon. "Is that why you.. Erm, celebrated so much?" she says, smiling down into her plate. "Actually yes it is, miss 'I'm so smug'," I say, grabbing her and pulling her tiny frame on top of mine. "Tobias!" she shrieks with laughter, pulling her plate over to where she sits on my lap.

"Lauren resigned from her post," I say, taking another gulp of coffee. Tris chokes on the bite of eggs in her mouth, spluttering some sort of mangled words. "What?!... Oh... That's... Why..." I pat her on the back, and she holds up a nice little middle finger. Finally, she breathes. "That's great! Why though? And who's taking her place?" Tris says, turning around to look at me. "Well, I don't remember why precisely, but basically she didn't want to work with 'certain employees' anymore. Well, basically, because of this, Zeke is taking her place, but that means Eric has to leave and be replaced by a girl because of Dauntless law and so..." I trail off, looking at the angel that sits in my lap.

Tris is a girl! Why didn't I think of this. "Tris! You're a girl!" I exclaim, the idea coursing through me like adrenaline. She scoffs "Did you just think you were gay until now or -" she starts but I shove my hand over her mouth. "No! You're taking Eric's place!" Her little smile melts off her face, her eyes clouding with worry as she shakes her head back and forth so fast that it crates a light breeze. "No. No Tobias I can't... No one would take me seriously and it would be moment after moment of reminders that I'll never be good enough..."

Her arms wrap around her knees, curling her into a shivering little ball "I'm nobody to look up to Tobias" she whispers into her knees. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around her, slowing each tremble that wracks her body. "Tris, what are you talking about?" I ask, prying her arms away from her knees and twisting her to face me. She looks up at me, a cloud of fear in her eyes. "When I fell into that net, and you pulled me out of the world I knew. You were Dauntless. You were strong, and tough, and brave. You anchored me and defined this faction. I'm not... I can't do that for anyone."

Her hands are soft and warm as they trace each scar on my hand, fumbling without a thought. "That's our problem. We shouldn't have a definition of a faction, but of ourselves. These people," I say, pulling my hands away from hers and gently pushing her chin up so she looks at me,"they don't know what bravery is. It's easy to push yourself and fall to your death." The little ball she had withered into starts to bloom into a memory of my Tris letting me pull her into me, her breaths still uneven. "But to let yourself crumble into nothing, and letting no one but yourself rebuild you, to expose your scars of the past and thrive upon them, not for the moment, but for what could come, to remind yourself that the past is real, that, Tris, that's what bravery is," I finish, brushing my lips over the familiar skin of her cheek.

Her chest rises with a breath as she opens herself up and wrapping around me. "You're good at making me break," she murmurs against my lips, letting her gaze stream mine. "It's not easy to do," I say, kissing her. It's not a hot passion driven kiss, but rather, a conversation. I feel her fear melt away and she begins to breathe evenly.

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**I know I know. "Another fucking story where tris trains initiates?" I'm sorry ok! you guys will see later on that it does have to do with actual plot development. I wantedto address something really quickly before I sign off:**

**A lot of people have been contacting me telling me their stories about how they fell into hard places, how every day seems to grow darker, and the pit they wallow in seems to sink deeper with every fleeting second. Being hurt, and broken inside isn't like a broken ankle, where you wobble around on crutches for a few weeks and every passing person makes sure your ok, holds a door open for you, carry your books through the hall... There's this part of you inside that's shrivelled into the empty black dust, and every single step you take swirls it around and let's it settle somewhere else in your day, drawing the life from that until your life is so tainted there's nothing but blackness. No one is going to check on you to see if you feel alright because hey, you look tired? Whatever you probably just didn't sleep well last night. You look angry? It's probably just PMS. No one feels like they need to help the person who puts on a mask each day, but part of them is dying and the rest longs to go along with it. **

**So please: I've been there. I am there. I am always her to talk, to listen or to help.**

**I love you guys, please remember you saved me, and I just hope I can do the same for you.**

**D**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hello muchkins (I'm pretty sure 93% of you guys would tower over me... but still...You're my muchkins) Sorry I didn't update Sunday, I had to deal with some pretty shitty stuff this weekend. But I'm home now, alone, eating spaghetti and dancing around in my underwear to Buffalo Soldier... You know, as one does. Alright, so this chapter is pretty important later on, so if you're one of those people who actually read this on a regular basis (I'm guessing that totals five, maybe six people?) please keep these events in your mind.**

**thanks to my editor thebigdog2895**

**ok. Read. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy. But you can't unread it so bahah *shut up self***

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(Tris)

"But I can't even reach the net, let alone haul full grown teenagers out of it!" I laugh against Tobias's chest. "Fine. I'll pull them out, but you talk to them. I hate that part," he says, wrapping his arms around mine, a warm net of intertwined fingers pressing against my hand. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest against my back's like an anchor against the ragged bumps of the train car we sit in, gliding over each spike in the track.

Abruptly, his fingers stiffen around mine and his chest stills. He's to tense, every muscle pulled taught to its edge in his body, he's not ready to fight, worse. He's ready to protect "Get behind those crates," he murmurs with a spine-chilling quickness, lifting me to my feet. He stands swiftly behind me, scooping our bag of food up to his back, his hand on my back urging me forward. I peer over my shoulder to see what startled him. Two shadowed figures stand in front of our cart, just breaking into a jog getting ready to jump right where we had sat. I grab Tobias's hand, our footsteps' hurried reverberations masked by the sound of the wheels on the track, as we collapse behind a large shipping crate right before the car shakes with the thump of their bodies against the cart, echoing around us.

Tobias and I brace ourselves against the crate, straining to hear voices, but our ears are only met with heavy breathing. The only logical assumption is this isn't a normal occurrence for them, sprinting and hauling themselves into the train, but why would they? We're in the dead land between factions right now, so obviously if they have enough freedom to meander around they wouldn't need to be escaping much. From where we sit, it's impossible to sneak out and see them without being in plain sight... Unless someone extremely small where to crawl through the vent up top and see them through the grate.

I turn against Tobias's chest, catching his eyes with mine. I point to myself, then up to the vent. His eyes follow my finger and his head immediately snaps down, shaking his head with a set jaw. I grab his chin, digging my nails in and pouring my stare into his until finally he exhales and gives a relinquishing, stiff nod. The crate is large enough that it covers us practically floor to ceiling, but each movement is calculated and cautious, for one misplaced finger could send me crashing to the ground, not exactly stealthily.

Tobias hoist me up, his hands on my waist as I crawl around to stand on his shoulders. His hands grasp the back of my calves tightly, his fingers digging into my skin and shaking. The metal grate above me, to my pleasant surprise, eases open smoothly, not so much as a creak. The metal chilled from the night's air presses gently against my fingertips, the pattern indenting itself into them. My hands grasp around the frame of the narrow vent opening, the muscles in my arms straining as they pull my weight up. Tobias's hands push my feet up, and after a moment, I finally let myself breath as my waist slithers into the vent.

I begin to pull myself along, but right before it is too late, I think of my rubber soles squeaking against the smooth steel lining. Luckily, Tobias seems to understand my hesitation, and reaches up and pulls off each of my sneakers. I let my breaths rock me up and down just for a second, then I press forward. Each measured movement is precise, dragging me forward, towards the patch of light at the end of the vent. The next opening.

I press the palms of my hands into the sleek layer of metal supporting me, and just as I initiate the familiar heat in the tensing of the muscles in my arms and begin pulling, voices meet my ears. "I'm never going to get used to that," a young male voice pants. I take the final pull and strain my eyes to see through the metal grate, which lies beneath my heaving face.

Two boys lie in a heap beneath me, their chests crash with weighted heaves as they struggle to catch their breaths. The larger of the two looks about my age, his arms still thin but strewn with shadows cast by muscles, his hair, a dark brown colour, falls sloppily around his head as he lies on his chest, I can't see his face. The smaller one of them lies on his back, his eyes tracing the sky outside, his innocent face stricken with the joy of adrenaline, shaken by disbelief. He pushes back his blonde hair from his eyes, his mouth struggling to form words. He's far too young to be let out of sight in any of the factions. He couldn't be more than 12.

"Trust me," the older boy grumbles, pushing himself into a sitting position,"you do. And this world, these factions... They begin to actually mean something. That's why I have to leave." He let's his head flop back, giving himself to the rattling floor beneath him. My breath hitches when his face becomes visible. I know him. I know that face, each crook and crevice, but from where, I don't know. It's as if each expression has haunted my dreams, a nameless figure that I've seen every moment of my life, but I can't quite remember how they look. Familiar.

His eyes trace out the blurring skyline, a pained thought seeming to falter his stare. "But you don't have to. I still have some time... I'm not sure I'm ready to let all of you go," he murmurs to himself, barely audible over the pounding of the rails. The younger boy sits up, tearing his eyes away from the open door. "Hey," he says, placing his hand on the older boys jeans. For the first time, I realize what they wear. Only dull jeans and baggy sweatshirts, no defining colours or styles to claim their bodies. "Then don't."

The older boy looks out the window and shakes his head, biting his lower lip and furrowing his eyebrows. "I can only hope that if I say that you'll understand someday, I'd be wrong. Whatever man. We're almost there, grab the clothes," the older boy says, motioning to the backpack thrown carelessly on the floor a few feet from them. The younger boy crawls over, and pulls out what appear to be the light blue Erudite slacks and jackets, shoving their jeans and sweatshirts in the bag. I avert my eyes, studying the gathered dust in the corner of the vents, letting my fingers silently trail along them and freeing the specks of dirt back into the air.

"You ready?" speaks the older boy, pulling my attention back down to them. They stand, hand in hand, by the edge of the car, their knees bent, ready to jump. The younger boy gives a curt nod, and their legs straighten as they leave, the train continuing past, leaving them behind us. Tobias walks into view under the vent and pops the grid open. I let my body weight carry me towards the ground head first, bracing to roll out of the harsh impact with the trains floor, but instead I'm met with a cradle of Tobias's strong arms.

I walk over and slip my sneakers back on, each step more pronounced and calculated than before, trying to analyse what had jut derailed in front of us. When I return from the behind the crate, Tobias stands by the door, his hand held out for mine. I reach into him and his fingers tangle themselves with mine letting the cool night air wash away my thoughts. We just hang out of the train, as Tobias did what seems like a lifetime ago on our way to play paint ball, the wind pressing our clothes tight against our bodies.

"Well there goes date night." He smirks

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**Will someone come over and snuggle me? Or like, bathe me in chocolate or bacon or something? God I must sound so strange. IM NORMAL! I swear. muahaha just kidding. But seriously, I'm signing off by telling ya'll that next chapter they get it on, so enjoy that mi amigos (holler to my spanish readers again, you my homies.) Things haven't been going so well for me as of late, but coming home and seeing that people (150 000!) have actually read this... And some of the lovely things you guys say... I can't thank you enough. ****Really quickly, I wanted to thank Izzie-F for almost always leaving a thoughtful review, you guys don't understand how much it means to me when I get people actually thinking about this piece, it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.**

***flamboyantly throws hands up in air* gah, I ****love you guys! *belly rubs***

**XOXO**

**D and spaghetti that is now all over my shirt *sigh* (cat meows hello too)**


	42. Chapter 42

**You don't care what I have to say, ya'lls just want to get the bangity banging going. Read on brother, read on. Thanks to my editor thebigdog2895**

**(My insanity shall be written at the bottom for those of you who actually read it)**

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(Tris)

Tracks guide the train on its never ending path. The slight curve of each metal smile jostling the wheels, giving them a true moment of un certitudes as to where they might land, but never sending it off course. These cars, these empty shells conforming into what they were crafted to be, will never know what happens off the tracks. They'll never be the cause of distraction or pain, their path mapped out, chaining them to the same spot while it shoots by at the speed of light.

The metal I lie on is strikingly cold against my bare arms, but I can't bring myself to move, to look away from Tobias. "What are you thinking?" he murmurs quietly, his fingers tracing circles over my exposed hip bone, idly drawing traces that sting with his love. The train bumps, shuffling us around a bit, legs intertwined and each breath we take just barely grazes his chest on mine, the warmth spreading momentarily through, but lashed out of my grasp quickly as his warm breath exhales. My fingers uncurl from the soft fabric shielding him from me, involuntarily sketching over his features.

I imprint the feeling of his lips under my fingers, not willing to let him go, to let myself open up to our life off the tracks. A quaking breath escapes my lips, shaking the little alcove between our bodies. Absentmindedly my fingers press the crease between his furrowed brows, just wishing that my touch could take away the dangers of our life off this hurtling train. "I'm scared." Finally, the words pour out of my mouth, my head bowing into his shoulder.

"Tris," he breathes, pulling me against his chest. The breeze from outside flutters my hair around us, but he finds my chin and pulls my eyes to his. "No you're not. You're just getting ready to shatter and I don't think you can. You're not done yet," he whispers, his words catching and getting carried away by the wind outsides, left behind us in the space of nothingness outside, but not before reaching into me and pulling out the last breath I had held back.

"You're the only reason... The only reason I'm alive. Without you... I don't think I would know what living really meant. I can't let it go now," I say, lost in the wonders of his eyes. "You're my only reason to live," he mumbles, biting into my lip, gently tugging it against his teeth. My legs slide down between him and the rattling floor, twisting him to lie on his back, sliding my hands under his shirt and over his steady abdomen, the bumpy path of solid smooth skin stretched over his tight muscles hot under my touch. I bring his shirt up and over his head, throwing it off of him in no direction in particular

Our mouths break apart momentarily, leaving my lips frozen on the bare night air, longing for his touch. My fingers lace into the hem of my tank top, plastered to my body with sweat now, and begin to pull it off. But suddenly, both my hands are clasped together in one of his, my shirt falling back down, his other hand holding my leg flush against his, and he flips us over, my arms pinned above me, shivers pulsing through me. His finger tips splay on my stomach, forcing my arched back flat against the trembling floor.

"Not here," he breathes into my mouth, pulling my shirt all the way back down, over my hip bones. I kiss him, pulling him back on top of me, the craving of moments where the physical euphoria finally meets with the entirety of our love, pulling us to a new dimension in this shrouded place we call a world. One of my hands slither down from his grasp, and I wrench my shirt off of my body before he can protest, careful not to catch it on the moonlit pearls. He keeps his lips grazing against mine but he begins to push himself back off of me, grasping my hand back up above my head.

He sits back on his heels, his chest heaving heavily, the wind from the open car door rustling his hair lightly. His hands let go of mine and he just looks out the door, watching as the horizon blurs into the dark, engulfing us into the velvet black of night. I sit quickly, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders, my legs pulling him back down on top of me, my teeth grazing his bottom lip. "I wasn't asking permission," I groan into his mouth, my hands running down his bare chest and undoing his belt, sliding his pants off of him.

The tracks beneath us curve to the right, jolting us to the side, rolling us over so I straddle his stomach, pressing his chest against the open palm of my hand. I grab his arms and heave them up so they stretch above him, defining each muscle in the sculpture of a man beneath me. I trail kisses up his arm, letting little pecs and flicks of my tongue make him writhe beneath me. His arms don't even strain against my hold, breaking free of my grasp as if each muscle in my body hadn't been straining into his arms. His hands wrap around my waist, running his thumbs up and down my rib cage, sinking in slightly between each bone.

I press on my toes, my mouth back on his, and lift my body off of his, taking my jeans off as I do. "I need you so bad," I whisper in his ear, kissing a trail back down his neck and over his chest. "Tris, you've been through a lot today. No," he groans through gritted teeth, but he can't seem to muster the strength to pull me off of him. My lips brush the soft skin just below his navel, and I can feel him harden and strain against his tight boxer briefs. I nip gently at his hip bone, looking up at him through my lashes. "You're not my distraction, you're not just some escape. You pull me through the pain. You're not shielding me Tobias. I need you to help break me," I murmur against his skin.

His chest rises once more, falling as he relents, pulling me back up, his hand at the nape of my neck. Our mouths meet again, coursing the heat back into my veins, turning my blood to fire that burns away the outside, enveloping me in him. One of his hands reaches behind me and undoes the clasp of my bra, tugging my fingers out of his hair to pull it off and throws it off to the side, the other pulling my underwear off, balancing me in the air for a moment to slide them off of my legs. "I love you Beatrice," he whispers into my hair. I reach down and pull his boxers off of him.

He kisses me lightly on the lips, his hands roaming along my back, one resting in the dip of my lower back. I pull my lips from him, my knees digging into the trains floor, vibrating around us. I position myself so my slit sits right above is growing erection, turning his hands to hold my hips. I don't want to see him look at me, naked, bare to him, so my eyes subconsciously trace the little patterns my fingers create on his stomach. Slowly, I begin to bend my knees, letting the muscles in my legs relax.

He spreads me open, as I take him all in. I bite my lip, to stop from crying out. Our hips meet, the contrast in our size disabling us from too much to or fro movement, but he carefully sits up, deliciously tightening the muscles in his stomach, echoed in my own. His lips press tenderly to mine, his tongue slowly requesting permission into my mouth. Immediately, I open my mouth against his, smiling at how tentative he is. My hands grope the back of his neck, my forearms pressing into his shoulders, pulling myself up, then I let myself back down. Eventually, his hands take over, lifting my hips up and down around him.

Our breathing morphs into panting. "Tobias..." I whimper into his mouth. I feel myself expanding around him, but the pressure that has built right below my navel threatens to explode. He seems on edge too, but as the whimper leaves my lips, a sexy sort of growl comes from his throat, pushing me over the edge. I feel myself clench around him just as he unloads himself into me, the growl deepening as he hugs me to his chest, his breath ragged now. I press my forehead into his shoulder to try to calm myself down, but I can't seem to come down from my climax.

Tobias brings my lips back to his and pulls me up and off of him, sitting me beside him with an arm wrapped around me. As I catch my breath, I look around, the sudden realization dawning on me. "Shit!" I spit, looking around the train. Tobias looks down at me with an eyebrow raised. "What?" he asks. "We threw our clothes out of the train." I say, curling into a ball by his chuckling side.

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**Hi Babies! Did you like it? Yes? No? Maybe so? Maybe you're on your way to my place with the second season of Suits (boyfriend got me hooked, and now all I do is watch it, so point your pitch forks at him for my crappy writing) and a huge tub of Ben and Jerry's half baked? Oh good, the latter, I'm glad. Ok really quick, I need to get serious and address some things *serious face* A lot of people asked for a shout out. ALOT. I love you guys so much, and as much as I would love to name every single one of you, there are literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of views on this story *lil booty wiggle dance for my big loving family* *slaps face back into serious mode* so I can't. Yes, sometimes it may happen that someone leaves a review that touches my soul and makes me cry, and I may thank them. It happens. So shout out to all of you, for holding me through the darkest part of my life, for being the reason I can make myself wake up, for being my family when nearly every one else saw me as a lost cause. *hugs and sniffles away the tears*. On a separate note, I've gotten a dozen or so reviews now asking for some personal information. As close as I feel to all ya'll, I'm not really comfortable sharing some bits, and some means of contact. If you want to talk, PM me, or if you don't have an account and read as a guest, let me know that in a review, because I might end up making an email account for you guys to reach me at. Lastly, this "book" will be ending fairly soon, but it's the first instalment in a whole series I'm writing for ya'll, so the story will continue on. I'm going to sort myself out this weekend and get way ahead in this writing, as well a the erotic fic. it shall come soon my babies, Im trying, but school and medical and sports and snuggles... It all need to happen right now, and it's not easy when I have zero energy, brian power or smarts because of my diseases.**

**I love you guys. So much.**

**xoxo D**


	43. Chapter 43

**Well hello there, don't you look rather dapper this evening. *le twirl* Alright, so its currently 4am right now and don't ask me why (I'm guessing cat has something to do with this, the munchkin gets a lil jealous when it's not him being cuddled) *glare at cat* but boyfriend and I both ended waking up, and somehow ended up in the kitchen watching Suits and passing back and forth a jar of Nutella. You know, the usual right? So after boyfriend made a stupid comment about... disrobing (as teenage boys do)*eye roll so hard I need glasses*, I jumped, yes JUMPED, and sprinted (exercise at this hour? Unheard of) to update. I'm sorry it's coming to you 4 hours late, but hey, it's better than 9 hours.. Oh no? Ok I'll just wallow away to my little corner.**

**Thanks to my awesome editor thebigdog2895 , I love you guys!**

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The trains horn shatters our pensive silence, signalling our approach to Dauntless. "Fuck" I grumble, looking around for anything that we can wear. We had thrown everything out except for the backpack, which only held stray bits and bobs and the remnants of our picnic dinner. Tris stands there covering her chest and crossing her legs, looking anywhere but at me.. "We're going to have to jump," I say, grabbing her hand that covers her chest and lacing her fingers with mine. I have to tear my eyes away from her to keep me from growing hard again.

The floor beneath us begins to vibrate more intensely, the tracks slowing down the train. I pull Tris to the edge of the car, and we both jump easily, running a few steps. The ground stays solid beneath us, but it's easy for us to slow ourselves down. I look down at Tris, surprised to see she's smiling up at me. "What?" I say, raising an eyebrow at her. The roar of the passing train still rings in our ears, the wind coming of of it causing tris to stand closer to m side. "You're kind of cute," she says, a little smirk pulling at the edge of her mouth.

She turns and leans in for a kiss, her fingers delicately wrapping around my forearms pulling them into the velvet skin of her waist. "Nuh uh," I murmur, pushing her away from me. "I gotta.. Umm, stay.. Calm," I say, turning my head to hide my blush. Tris's head cocks to the side, confused, but the meaning of what I said seems to dawn on her eventually. A snort of laughter bubbles up from her minuscule frame, her hands clapping together in a moment of taunting glee.

"Well I'm glad you find this amusing. But I for one am not looking forward to having to call Zeke and asking him to bring us clothes." I say, rolling my eyes sarcastically, winding my fingers through her gentle grasp and tug her ardently along behind me. The zipper on the backpack slides easily, and I pull out the little phone sitting in the bottom of the bag. my finger dial the numbers they had come to learn from many nights I was too drunk to make much of myself.

Zeke picks up on the first ring

"Tobias?"

"Hey... Um, I need a favor"

"Sure bud. What's up?"

I look down at Tris who bites her lip to keep the amused little smile off of her face, covering her chest with crossed arms.

I take a deep breath

"I need you to bring me some clothes."

The phone buzzes silent for a moment, but it's broken quickly by the whooping laugh on the other end.

"What?! Where the fuck are you?"

"Tris and I... We um... We went for a walk and then thing kind of escalated into a more... Intimate situation. Some teenagers must have come by while we were getting it on and taken our shit" Tris cringes into my arm when I let the words "get it on" leave my lips, but Zeke won't drop it unless it sounds realistic. Immediately, I have to hold the phone at arms length to avoid bursting my ear drum on his maniacal laughter bursting from the receiver. Finally, his gasping dies down.

"Bro... That's great!"

"Shut up. Can you bring us some clothes? We're up near the Pire."

"Be there in five man."

The phone clicks shut, and I turn, pulling Tris along with me, walking toward a large dumpster for us to hide behind. Not five minutes later, an elated Zeke emerges from the Pire, brandishing a small stack of clothes, a grin stretching his face far wider than I thought humanly possible. "Duuuude," he laughs, spotting Tris and I. "Shut up and pass them over here," I laugh, rolling my eyes. Zeke's smile doesn't disappear, but he hurls the clothes right at us. Tris hurriedly throws on what must be a pair of Shauna's shorts and a shirt, far more revealing than her usual attire, but she doesn't seem too picky at the moment. I throw on the pants Zeke brought me.

"A shirt was too much to ask?" I joke rolling my eyes as I sling the backpack across my bare back. "Hey, I figured you need to learn from your reckless behaviour. Who would have thought a stiff would be caught in a situation like this," Zeke says, slinging his arm over Tris. "I'm so proud of my little girl." He laughs, rubbing Tris's head like a puppy. Tris and I just roll our eyes, walking towards the Pire all together. "Yeah, well the stiff needs to go home. Can you just make sure she doesn't trip and kill herself on the way back? I need to delete any footage of us." I say, pointing to upwards where security cameras lurk.

Tris shoots me a look of pure loathing, but before she can say anything, Zeke is pulling her down towards the pit. "Night bro!" he calls over his shoulder before disappearing.

(Tris)

The slapping of my bare feet against the stone echoes through our silence, after countless punches to the gut Zeke had finally shut up, but he still cracked a stupid joke her or there. "Hey Tris?" he asks, a genuine tone creeping into his voice. "Yes assface?" I reply naturally, waiting for some stupid comment about me or Tobias. "You... You're serious about Four right?" he asks nervously, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoved deep into his pocket. I glance up to see him peering down at me worriedly. "Of course. Why?" I reply, bracing myself for some dumb joke. But it doesn't come.

"It's just, he really really likes you. Like really. When he first got here, he was just this scary a** guy, insane fighter, but when we would invite him to chill and stuff he seemed fairly normal. I don't know, maybe it's just because your a chick. But lots, and I mean LOTS of chicks threw themselves at him, and he didn't even look at them. Then you get here, and for the first week of your initiation, he got all quiet and wouldn't talk to anyone, kept on sneaking off to go train and come back a complete mess. It was weird. But then, when you guys, you know, started going out, it's like our old Four was back. A better Four was back. What I had thought was happy Four before was just some act he put on, but when he gets around you.. I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say, is please don't fuck with him, or mess him up. You know?"

We stop in front of me and Tobias's door, but as he turns to walk away I grab his arm, forcing him back. "Zeke, I love him. I promise you you can beat my ass if I ever fuck him up. Ok?" I say, trying my best to sound reassuring, yet still putting things in a way he would understand. Lots of swearing. He relaxes a little bit, pulling me into a big hug, my arms pinned awkwardly to my sides. "Ok. Thanks midget," he says before ruffling my hair and disappearing down the dark corridor.

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**So I don't love this chapter, I couldn't write it the way I wanted, so I might return one day and rewrite it, who knows! So I got a load of questions from my phenomenal supporters *whole theatre bursts into applause for you* and even some of them are quite personal! I'm going to try to answer what I can, because if you guys are sweet enough to wonder them, i want to make you guys happy! So, to no further a due:**

**My exact age is private, but I'm still in high school (teenager) . I live in Canada with boyfriend (so no, I do not life with my parents. I'm a competitive gymnast. I don't know how I started writing this really, but YOU guys are what motivate me and inspire me everyday, I honestly can not explain how you guys have changed my life. No, you can not have boyfriend, he mine, but come over and we'll have a pizza together, k? Same goes for cat. I will not be killing Tris or Tobias (hath I no soul?) There will be violence in the next instalment of the series, yes people are going to die. And the main question "how can we get more updates?"... Honestly, the only reason I don't update everyday is because I'm not motivated to write everyday. Days I write most are normally when I see lots of people reading my story (pass this puppy around like the flu!) and when I get a beautiful review.**

**So that's me... Who's you?**

***offers a scoop of Nutella***

** D**


	44. Chapter 44

(Tris)

Calloused fingers press tenderly into the hollows beneath my shoulder blades, pulling me up, each rivet in the rough skin already imprinted into my brain. The weight of my eyelids is too much to resist, opening them is seemingly impossible, but my eyelashes twitch against one another, admitting defeat from my sleep. The fingers follow the curve of my shoulder blades, curving down to my spine and pulling my limp body to lie on a pair of coarse denim covered legs. A gentle warmth spreads from the crook of my neck, a familiar pair of lips pushing gently against my skin.

"Hey," I slur sleepily into Tobias's neck, intertwining my fingers into his hair and letting the silky strands tug against them while I pull him up to look at me. "Might I ask what prompted you to wake me at-" I roll my head over to see the clock reading 3:42 am "way too early to even think about moving o'clock?" I say, smiling up to the shadow of his face in the dark. His fingers gently graze my temple, feather light sparks a cascade from his touch, sending goosebumps to my arms, as he tucks a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. "Fear landscape," he says, his voice still gruff from sleep, but he rolls over and turns on the bedside lamp.

The room floods with light, illuminating Tobias's eyes roaming over my face, his mouth pressed into a hard line turning his lips white, his eyebrows knit together. The pinpricks of ice seep into my skin, pulling me from my sleepy haze. My arms lock around the smooth skin of his neck, my chest pushing against his, rolling him down onto the bed, vertebrae by vertebrae. "No," I murmur, shaking my head,"I can't... I can't watch you go through that again," I say, chewing at my lip.

His breath washes over the back of my neck, his chest sinking deeper and the warmth washing over me. "I have an idea," he says, his hands wrapping around my biceps, each finger squeezing gently, and pushes me off of him. "Put pants on then we're leaving," he grunts, standing up and walking to the bathroom.

The walk up had been quick, and even though Tobias had not let me take my hand from his until the door of the simulation room was locked shut behind us, not a word was spoken until his trembling fingers opened the cupboard holding the syringes. "Tobias why do we have to do this at 4am?" I ask, hoping for any reason to leave. "Because we're Divergent," he mumbles absentmindedly, rustling around the cabinet for the equipment. "Come here," he says, peering over his shoulder to meet my eyes.

He doesn't register how close I am until my fingers roam over the soft black material clinging to his shoulders. His chest's rise and fall is forced, unnatural, his jaw set. His eyes are the only thing that give him away, the only thing that pulls me back to my Tobias, fear edging its way into his mind. "I hate you for doing this, but I know you're right. I'm here though, and you're not going to ever be able to get rid of me," I say, a weak smile forced onto my face, my fingers instinctively going to the pearls against my neck. "I love you," he breathes, his muscles loosening under my touch.

His hand wraps into mine, a black box in his other, and he pulls me towards the chair in the centre of the room, each of our footsteps seeming to weigh more than the next, like walking through mud. He sits, then wraps his hands around my waist, his pulse beating through his fingers, pressing gently into my back, while he hoists me to straddle his hips, as if I weighed no more than a child. Our eyes meet, and my breath hitches, stuck somewhere in my chest. This man, this perfectly sculpted, brave, smart, selfless, honest and yes, kind, man puts himself through the most treacherous moments, building himself by breaking every ounce of strength he has, loves me enough to bring me along. He loves me enough to break me too.

"So. You had an idea?" I ask, shattering the silence while willing my voice not to waver. "Um, yeah. We're doing both of our simulations." He exhales, his arms wrapping around me, braced to trap me if I ran. "Tobias no. I'm not ready... What if... What if I see you... What if what happens to you happened to me? I'm not strong enough," I rush, every muscle in my body seizing and contracting, paralyzingly me. "Tris, you can't run from this. And I have an idea, like I said," he says, shaking me a gently in his grasp, edging away some of the numbness.

My voice doesn't come, but I nod, letting him continue. "We're doing it at the same time. We'll inject the pairing serums into each of us first, then both of our simulation serums. The landscape might take hours, both of us trying to fight each other's fears. It.." he pauses, tearing his eyes from mine and smoothing the crease that had formed in between his furrowed eyebrows with the heel of his hands. "It's not going to be easy," he finishes, staring down at his hand on my thigh, the feeling of each of his fingers seemingly indented.

My stomach twists, wringing itself into knots at the sight of Tobias's dread, too much for me to handle. My fingers rest against his, the other hand pulling his chin up while I breath in his scent, uncurling the maze inside of me. "I'm ready for us to break," I say, losing myself in his eyes, the dark blue burdened far beyond what he should be able to handle. But yet, we still reach for the little black box together, taking out the syringes. "I'm ready for us to be fixed," he says, as we push the needles into each other's neck.

He relaxes back into the chair, pulling me on top of him. I nuzzle into the crook of his neck, letting the waves of his warmth and scent wash over me. "I love you," he whispers, wrapping his arms around me. "I need you," I murmur into his neck, before the world before us slips away.


	45. Chapter 45

**Well hello again! It's boyfriend. Sorry there was no adorable little note from girlfriend on the last chapter, she had a pretty serious health scare, and this story was no where near my thoughts until I got shouted at through the phone from her friend to post an update, so I did it as quick as I could. She's doing alright now, we're back from the hospital and tucked in. I think Munchkin should be back for the next update, but no guaranties.**

**Thanks for supporting her so much guys, you make her day, and that makes my life. Well, apart from Cat and food you make her day.**

**Have to good one.**

(Tris)

"Ugh" I grunt, slamming into the ground beneath me, my shoulder grinding against the gravel. Moments later, I hear Tobias land, stumbling to his hands and knees, wincing as the little stones beneath him cut into his skin. Our day riding the trains had been wonderful, getting to feel the warmth of the sun rise beam into our skin while we sat and laughed, but had ended far too quickly when we realized what train we were on. I hadn't jumped this ledge since the day of the choosing ceremony, but somehow the gap between the train and the roof top seemed minuscule now.

"Y'okay?" He mumbles, the gravel crunching under each of his steps towards me. His arms loop under me and pull me to my feet, turning me around and examining my bare shoulder, picking bits of gravel out of the skin. I swat him off, the warmth of his hand wrapping around mine covering me like a blanket. "I'm fine, stop it. Let's just get off." I say turning in to see a smirk dancing across his lips. "Get off you say..." He says, his goofy grin tugging at his lips.

I smack him lightly on the shoulder, then pull him towards the fire escape door, nearly slipping as the gravel shifts under me when my legs to a sudden halt. Tobias raises and eyebrow at me, but before I can point to the handle of the door twisting, a crowd of men and women, all brandishing weapons burst through, the metal door clanging loudly against the wall it's thrust into. "Divergents!" A woman wails, her skin masked by an intricate web of ink patterns.

Tobias's strong hand grabs mine, as we run, each of our footsteps pounding harder into the ground beneath us, ringing through our bones. "There!" I cry, pointing to the two guns lying nuzzled against the roofs edge. My feet carry me, whipping me through the wind as Tobias stills, not daring to inch closer to the edge. The metal scalds my fingers as they wrap around it, baked in the sun beating down onto us. I toss one to Tobias before grabbing the second and returning to his side. The crowd advances on us, lethal cries of anger and hatred piercing the air, promising our deaths. A knife is thrown, the cool metal barely registering as it skims my forearms, a ribbon of scarlet trickling from where the heat had been momentarily relieved.

"They're going to kill us!" Tobias shouts, firing into the crowd and hardly making a dent. My lungs right for each breath, each pule longing for adrenaline, but only met with the hot disappointment of terror. I click a bullet into place, aiming at the foot of an advancing man, his piercing reflecting the suns blinding light, waiting for the surge of power to roll through my body shooting into the crowd and pushing me back, protecting me. But it never comes.

The gun in my hand grows too heavy my muscles stain to no avail, a loud clang ringing through my ears as it topples out of my grasp. There are too many. Tobias and I are barely armed and these people will kill Tobias. The crunching of the gravel doesn't register in my ears anymore, and I look down to see my blood covered boots stand upon the ledge of the building. The building which I jumped off of no more than a few moths ago. "Tobias!" I shout, watching through squints eyes as his head whips around, terror spreading over his face when his eyes land upon me. "Tris get down!" He shouts, slouching subconsciously to avoid a knife being hurled at him.

I run to him, quickly, my skin bare blistering under the baking sun beating down scalding into my skin, my hand wrapping into his free hand dangling by his side, his rough fingers automatically intertwining with mine. "We need to jump." I yell over the coming crowd's wails. His eyes quickly take my face in, as if every inch of it were insane, but with one glance over his shoulder to our attackers, his feet break into a run, mirroring mine. "I don't know if I can." He pants, his grasp tightening around my hand, grinding the knuckles together.

The give of gravel under our feet is suddenly replaced by the unyielding concrete ledge which, had I not let my weight throw me down into the seemingly bottom pit, I wouldn't stand here, with my life complete, with Tobias. His face stiffens, the wind billowing around his shirt is the only movement near his chest. The stubble of his unshaven chin prickles at my finger tips, pressing into his jaw. Finally, the once sultry blue gaze snaps from the bottom of the building, clouded with fear, but meeting mine, sending coursing waves of warmth through me, regardless of the situation.

The sound of a gun going off rings in my wars, the intensity of the noise acts like a hammer against the base of my neck. Before I can open my mouth to scream my arms are pressed into the side of my body, a strong pair of shielding arms hurtling off of the roof alongside me.

(Tobias)

The rushing air slaps against our skin, Tris hair flailing around us tickling my neck here and there. I brace myself for the net beneath us, winding at the ice coursing through my veins, but every passing second, every little bit closer we get to that net, I can breath in Tris, not yet ready to face the world outside of us. But the stinging crisscross pattern of the net's doesn't burn itself into our skin . Instead, we shatter through the glass top of unmoving water, a rippling slur of water and air slowing our clumsy dive to the bottom. I tear my arms off of Tris, pushing her up towards where we had come from, my legs pounding against the dragging water.

"Wh.. What the fuck?" Tris splutters, coughing up the chilling water that burns our lungs, ripples of the little effort it takes her to stay afloat crash up against me. I scan our surroundings, as the dead, lifeless water presses tight against my skin. It seems as if they had taken away the net which initiates fall to, and instead, replaced it with a large glass tank filled with water. The baking sun from the roof top syphons in through the narrow hole we had fallen through, tangling with the pooling depth we tread in, swirling a humid fog around us.

"Tobias, the fog..." Tris whimpers, the faint splashes emanating from her dying into weak rings floating on top of the glassy water's top. Her hand reaches for mine, the simple maze of our intertwined I fingers mapping it's way to pull us together. But as I pull her shivering body through the warm haze pressing lightly flush to our skin, I feel her rigid little body tremble, her eyes whipping around wildly. Walls of steam and fog so dense I can barely see where Tris tread water, roll in on us, squeezing us together. The heat pulsating around us glues our exposed clothes tight against us, pressing each hair on our body deep into our skin.

"Let's get to the glass, I'm sure there's a door somewhere." I say, envisioning the soon to come initiates dropping into the tank around us. My muscles strain against the water around us pulling us to where the fog seems to really begin, bracing myself for the burning moisture to fill my lungs and burn each breath. But it can't. No instead, the water's crimped waves shot from our bodies meet the fog and stop, as the crashing streams do against the slicing rocks in the chasm. As if the fog were a solid wall.

"What in the..." Tris ponders, her fingers untangling themselves from mine as she follows the little waves she creates. Suddenly, Tris body jerks, a hollow thump echoing in a tight space around us, as if she had ran smack into a wall. I follow her, and almost immediately feel the fog' shot, dripping, yet solid surface under the palm of my hand, unyielding under my force. I feel the ripples off of tris as she backs up, a horror stricken expression crossing her face. Each breath is pouring a burning fire into my chest, as I thrust my shoulder against the burning wall of fog, to no avail.

"Wait... Tobias. What did we do today?" Tris asks, pulling my shoulder around to face her, each kick of my legs against the thickening water becoming more demanding, but instead of terror and worry crossing her face, Tris's eyes scan the water inquisitively, her fingers pinching her bottom lip and her eyebrows furrowed. "Umm.." I try to think back to the morning, but the fog seems to have crept into my memory, not a single image before getting off of the train coming to mind. The fog grows darker, coming in closer and closer, chilling me through the scalding heat.

"Tobias..." Tris says, raising her eyes to mine, a little grin pulling at her mouth, catching the tears which had fallen unnoticed. "We're in a fear landscape." She murmurs, sending the fog into a cascade of light shards around us.


	46. Chapter 46

**Oh my fucking goodness! I don't even know where to start, so I'm just going to pull what I do in real life and ramble uncontrollably. I am so sorry I haven't been around for a while, little health complication, but that's not me trying to make excuses, just trying to explain. You guys have been phenomenal, I've mostly been in the hospital recently but when I do get to go home and Lie around in my own bed, boyfriend has been reading me your messages and reviews and I haven't cried that much in a long time. I love all of you. I'm still not able to think properly, so my weird little notes might not seem that me-ish, but I promise you I'm still here to talk, and make all the stupid little comments I can. I was planning on ending "Daunted" here, but then I was like "Nuh uh. No way I'm leaving my crazy internet family on such a terrible note. Do I look like a heartless bitch?". Ok imma stop rambling because I'me falling back asleep and boyfriend is giving me the "little missy get to bed" look (to those of you sending him hilarious little threats to treat me well, I never fell asleep or woke up out of his arms. He's a pretty good giant munchkin." Really quick, I want to thank my super awesome friend and editor thebigdog2895, seriously, you're the sweetest.**

**Gimme some lovin babie and come cuddle.**

**Ok, go away self.**

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(Tobias)

Inhale. Exhale. Don't flinch. Inhale. Exhale. Don't scream. Inhale. Exhale. Don't fight it.

It had been years since these words had been how I survived, how I kept placing one foot before the other. With each drag of oxygen into me, I feel the air course through my body, an unbearable pressure inside me with each pulse of the mantra, surviving off of the garbled words whispered in my mind. "Stop struggling."

But it isn't the voice of the man who had murdered a part of me. No one would ever watch the cowering child's steady rise and fall of his chest who curdles my blood. No. It's the light whose lips had passed a breath through the life of the broken boy and given a life for him to live. I pry my eyes open, wincing at the cutting ropes bounding my wrists, blood staining the white cord red. Piercing, cackling flames below sizzle with each drop. "It's a simulation," Tris spits through gritted teeth, training her watered eyes on the smoking sky above us.

His voice rings clear in my mind, and I hear Tris suppress a scream as the well known crack of leather snaps in the empty air, threatening to tear through our skin. I pull with all the strength in my body against the chords bounding me in place but the ropes only dig tighter, the flames crackling and intensifying. That's when I feel it. The oh-so familiar slicing against my back, the indistinguishable words gently falling from Marcus's mouth, stabbing into me.

The smoking sky swirls into a cloud of dark feathers, shadowing us from each other. "It's a simulation," Tris cries as the sound of Marcus's belt ripping through our flesh echoes around us. And she's right. None of this is real. I can let my hands fall from the ropes because they're not there. I can grab Tris and carry her limp body with me because none of this is actually happening. And I do. Running through a cloud of cawing crows and flames, angry shouts echoing behind us, I see the light ahead, slamming a door that was never there before shut behind us, collapsing as the handle clicks back into place.

The door rattles against my back, my arms encasing Tris's shaking body. The minutes tick by, but eventually, the gentle pressure of her rising chest against mine draws the held breath in my lungs. "What... What was that?" she whispers into my neck, her breath washing some warmth back through my frozen pulse. I rake my brain for the memory of injecting the simulation serum, each image foggy from the serum coursing through us right now. "I think..." I say, my voice stronger than I had expected, "I think we're in a stronger simulation. With both of our fear landscapes combined. So, so far we've-" I begin, but I can't finish the thought, unable to relive the past few simulated hours.

"We've had heights, small spaces, and Marcus for you. The mob, the tank, fire, crows and loss of control for me. That means..." she trails off, her head lifting from my shoulder, rattled breaths escaping her lips. Her wide eyes twist to the new door that stands in front of us, leading us to our final fear. Her quivering fingers limply lying on my shoulders, mirroring the quaking door behind us, roars from Marcus masked by noises of cackling flames, cawing birds, and the door separating us from it all. "Let's get it over with," I sigh, lifting Tris onto her feet and miraculously finding the strength to defy my burning muscles and push myself to my shaking legs, our hands naturally intertwining.

The echoes from our footsteps reverberate in the little room round us, each pair of our steps bringing the door closer to us, the strum around us making it seem as if the walls themselves had a heart beat. Pulse after pulse. Step after step. Tantalizingly slow, the door draws near, shielding us with a thin veil between where we stand and what we fear most. But what lies on the other side of that door?

"Don't let go?" she whispers, her terror veiled eyes trained upon the handle in front of us, less of a question and more of a plead. I pull her tightly to my side, our hands meeting together hot against the chilling metal of the handle. "Never," I breath, the handle thrusting down and away from us all on its own accord.

But no training, no serum and no promises could have prepared us from what stood on the other side. My heart stops, and I feel Tris fall into me, the little will to go on flooding from her body. The room before us is cavernous, but we don't so much as glance at the looming walls and dark floors, the scent of metal and wet rocks washing over us. No, instead our eyes move onto the one thing we could never have trained for, never expected, but it renders us both lifeless.

So this is fear.

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**Update tomorrow (sunday) but I'll update sooner if I get a lot of thoughtful reviews. And cuddles. And maybe some Chinese food for breakfast. Yeah, definitely Chinese food for breakfast. Now I'm hungry. God dammit self, why you gotta go around thinking about Chinese food and Taco Bell all the time? Why can't you be normal and think about boys and clothes? Or just, you know out on pants for a full day... **

**Being dragged away from computer, gotta go kick boyfriend's butt in a wrestling match.**

**I love you guys.**


	47. Chapter 47

**You fine boo, yes you. Ok, stop being weird self. Sorry to have left ya'll on that cliffie last time. Just a warning, this chapter is fairly confusing, so let me know if you don't understand anything and I'll try to clear things up next time. go read my editors stuff ya'll, it's great, thebigdog2895. The bomb dot com right over there. Love you guys. *mwuah*****  
**

(Tobias)

Tris's hand falls limp in mine, all oh her weight pressing into my side, and the quiet noise of her breathing ceases. "Mommy! Daddy!" A rosy cheeked toddler cries, her face cracking into a grin so pure only the innocence of a heart not yet tainted by the world could brighten it, scrunching her little button nose. The little girl's tied up blonde curls bounce along with her dress that matches her sweet pink rosy cheeks, as her tiny unsteady feet carry her towards us. I feel Tris shift and I peer down to see her tear burden blue eyes staring into mine, her lips parted and quivering. "You're scared to have kids with me?" Tris whispers, her voice cracking as the little girl's pitter patter of her feet against the cold floor stops in front of me.

Her little body launches itself me, wrapping her arms around my legs, miniature hands too far to grasp one another around them. "Daddy? Why didn't you catch me?" The little girl asks, her voice dancing in the air around us, high and sweet like the birds that used to wake us back in abnegation. I look down at the little face peering up at me from under my slightly buckled knees. She's beautiful, a perfect mixture of me and Tris, her eyes a soft grey that turns into a deep blue near the pupil, her skin so smooth, not a single furrow or crease from the trouble of the real world.

The real world. I think back, to a life outside of the simulation that we're drowning in, where Tris and I will return, alone, without this little beautiful, sweet little girl that clings to me. "Tris.. I.. I promise" I stammer, clutching onto her hand cold hand, met with a shrug of her shoulders and a smile, but I only see the tears that gather in her eyes. "It's fine." She shrugs, her fingers sliding from mine to wipe a lone tear that had escaped.

(Tris)

I wipe the tear away as quickly as I can, praying my breathing will start back up again, not willing to let Tobias see me shatter into a the millions of indistinguishable pieces I try so hard to hold together. "Mommy, why are you sad?" The angel faced girl asks, worry clouding her sing song voice as she pulls away from Tobias and reaches up to me. She's still so young her Rs are pronounce as W, adorably pursing her lips as she does. I never thought about children really. For so much of my life, it seemed as if my life were on track like the train that rumbles outside of the room where Tobias's and my body lie in a chair right now.

My blood would dribble peacefully from one grey stone to another the day of my choosing ceremony. I would leave with my parents and Caleb, Susan and Robert not far behind. We would go home and wait day after day until eventually Caleb and Susan married, then not long after, me and Robert. We would walk our children onto the same tracks we did, not because we want to, but because that was what was expected, that was seen as selfless. I finally see how blind I really was.

I never thought about kids, never had an opinion on the scraped knees I had mended, hungry mouths I had fed, so I don't know why I knelt to the little girl I front of me. "You're beautiful" I whisper, brushing a lock of golden hair from her shinning face back to her little pony tail, as her fingers mimic mine with another tear that had fallen down my cheek. She looks just like Tobias, her little nose perked in a way that I thought could only suit his face, her smile cracking as his does when it's just us together. Her delicate little fingers flutter down from my cheek and wrap there way around my neck meeting her other hand, clutching so tightly her feet lift off the ground. "Why are you crying Mommy?" She whispers into my neck, her warm breath tickling my throat as she nuzzles into me.

Instinctively, my arms wind their way around her fragile little body, sitting her on the forearms as I heave my self to my feet gently swaying her to and fro with myself. I breath in the scent of sweet honeysuckle my mother and I had passed on warm days, their little petals blowing in the day's breeze as it picked at and ruffled my hair. The sudden rumble of running footsteps pulls me rigid, Tobias stepping in front of me and the little girl, one of his arms wrapping us tight against him. "Daddy they're home!" The little girl squeals, her little hands shaking my shoulders as she smiles up at Tobias, glee washing over her face.

Before Tobias or I can wonder who "they" are, the footsteps pound louder, shaking the cave like structure around us little bits of dust and rubble clattering from the rugged walls. "I'm gaining on you!" Shouts a laughing teenage boy's voice from the corridor leading into the room. The footsteps quicken, but now light giggles are echoing about as well. "You're never going to catch me!" Huffs a sprinting little boy winding into the room from the corridor, his head turned over his shoulder to look at the owner of the vice behind him. His feet pick up speed, his tiny arms pumping furiously. His head snaps forward to see where his feet lead him. "Mom! Dad!" He squeals as his eyes, the same medley of cloudy grey and night sky blue, settle upon us. His bare feet hit the stone floor with little whacks, as he hurries towards us with a smile that mirrors that of the little girl in me arms.

"Daddy catch me!" He cries, as a laugh bubbling up from his tiny chest. The steel table he climbs screeches against the floor, ringing in my ears as he launches himself into the air. My feet instinctively run towards this little boy hurtling towards the ground, but Tobias jolts into action before me, cradling him into his strong arms and slowing his fall. To my surprise, Tobias's chest heaves with silent laughter as he clutches the boy in his arms, little hands reaching behind his neck. "I missed you." The little boy murmurs into Tobias's ear, identical smiles spreading across both of their faces.

The little pair of my hands that shook my shoulders now tremble with anticipation. And now I see why, as a larger pair of feet fly from behind the corridor, she squeals with delight. "Trench!" She cries, waving to the young man who rounds the corner. His dark hair swings from his face, his dark blue eyes shinning from between long lashes, as he jogs after the little boy who sits in Tobias's arms.

The same young man who had been on the train.

(Tobias)

"Colten, you can't hide behind Dad forever!" The older boy laughs, sticking his tongue out at the little one in my arm. He slows his jog as he reaches Tris. His large hand encases her fragile arm, pulling her to her feet. "Hey" he says, kissing Tris on the cheeks first, then the little girl Tris hugs tightly to herself. Tris gawks at the boy, her mouth hanging open as her eyes follow his path over to me. "Where were you guys?" He asks, ruffling the little boy, Colten, in my arms.

I hear soft footsteps padding over to me, "This is a simulation right?" Tris's soft voice whispers into my ear, the soft skin of the little girl in her arms pressing against my arm. I look down into her worry clouded eyes calculating the boy, Trench's, every move. "Yeah. Umm, yes. Yes it is. But if we're in a fear landscape, where are our..." Before the word fear can fall from my lips, a gun shot tears through the cavern, rattling the walls, causing the floor to tremble under our feet and a brief moment of darkness to flash. Little arms fall limp against my neck as I squeeze the Colten tight to my chest, wrapping my other arm around Tris and the little girl, Trench pouncing in to hell shield us from the roaring noise.

The raging sound of my pulse thunders in my ears, as I wrap my arms around the four of them as tightly as I can, Tris doing the same. Finally, my breaths come even, my ears only left with a high pitched raining as I step back. But instantaneously the ringing is met with the earth shattering scream pouring out of Tris's mouth as she hold the little girl's limp body in her hands. My heart stops beating, as My head numbly looks down to Colten cradled against my chest, to see what must be mirrored on the little girl's face.

Blood trickles down from the bullet hole in the centre of his forehead, the gaping scarlet hole of death so out of place on his angelic little face, not a single crevice or crease from the terrors that lurk outside. Trench's body lies limp in a pool of his own blood, an identical bullet hole as his brother and sister's. As our children.

My lungs burn, but no breath passes my lips, no pulse emanates from my dying body. "Tobias!" Tris cries, wrapping her arms around Colten, prying him from my iron cage fingers, and lying him with his siblings. She comes back, wrapping her arms around my neck and letting her tears flow, soaking my tshirt.

"It's a simulation"

**You know when you get super tired and you're just like "nope"? Well I'm in super nope mode right now. Its about midnight right now and I woke up a couple hours ago thinking "hey, you know what's a good idea self? Crawling into the kitchen and making pancakes." So lil ole me did just that, but problem is, I made me some glorious golden flapjacks, sat myself on the ground and put on some good old Netflix as my dinner companion (boyfriend was at practice). Then the nope hit. And I'm not talking some itsy bitsy bit of nope, I'm talking a grizzly bear who can strategize and knows how to use a fucking chain saw nope. So boyfriend got home at 11, and he was feeling pretty nope too, so now the three of us (cat is a human too, ok?) have decide to sleep on the kitchen floor because we ain't standing up. Moral of the story:someone bring me pancakes more often so I don't end up in this situation. you**


	48. Chapter 48

**Someone come cuddle me. Now. Tomorrow morning (it Monday might, normally I wait until 12:01 of my update says, but I'm to tired to stay up, so this is Tuesdays update, aight?) I get admitted to the hospital (A-fucking-GAIN) and I'm there till Friday night. Grrr. Do you know how difficult it is to eat my weight in ruffles (the sour cream and bacon flavour of course. You're weird if you like any other flavour. Nuff said) let me tell you, it's next to impossible. *le dramatic sigh and tumble right off the bed as I do so* BUT on a positive note, I found a way to share parts of my life with you guys, like this, and communicate and get to know you guys! Read the note at the end of the chapter to find out how. you know what I'm really not looking forward to for the next few days? Having to wear pants. If I were meant to wear pants, I would have been born with them. Damn society. You guys checked out my editor yet? thebigdog2895 ,go do that, because I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for them. Go. Now.**

**Love you guys, please eat some ruffles and chocolate for me.**

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When I was five, I had climbed a tall willow tree on my walk to school. Caleb had left early, so I had taken advantage of the rugged bark while I could. The sun shone through the leaves, inking swirling patterns of light across my pale skin, bruised and cut from my climb, but I didn't stop, I kept going to the top, until I could really see what our world was like. Of course, I had been up high during the days when I was too sick to go to school and my father had taken me to his work in the tall building looming over the city. But the view was always obstructed, even if only by glass. My eyes never got to roam our world freely to take everything in. My muscles burned, never having to lift more than my books, now heaving my aching body to the top of the tree, but they didn't reflect. I could see a clearing, a little hollow of branches nestled together, perfect to cradle my tiny body in and let me finally see the real world.

But the branch that my feet stood on snapped, the wind rushing past my hair, the scent of the dry earth beneath me getting stronger and stronger, turning me into a whirlwind of flailing limbs and breaking branches until finally I hit the ground with a thud. I lay on my back, trying to gasp for air but it was as if my lungs were full of led, pinning me to the ground, not letting a single breath in or out. I lay there, convinced my little life was fleeting right before my eyes. I don't know how long it took, the sun had shifted to shine directly into my eyes, making me squint as I awaited my death, but eventually, little by little, air seeped back into my lungs, the led draining into my limbs.

That's how I feel now. The led finally creeps it's way from my lungs into my limbs, pulling me from the simulation. Suddenly, Tobias's chest lunges forwards as he gasps in unison with me, finally free from the simulation as well. I press myself tighter to him, pushing my cheek against his tear soaked shoulder. His breath mimics my jagged attempts to pull air into my body, his arms wrapping around the small of my back, his hands so large they stretch easily from one of my hip bones to the other. His calloused fingers trace trembling patterns on the skin beneath my sweat drenched shirt, clinging to my back.

The tick of the clock hanging above us pulls my face from the nuzzled little alcove of warmth in his neck. 5:38 am. My arms wind their way across his neck, pulling him tight against me, his hot breath running down my neck. My fingers lace into his hair pulling gently at the silky strands that anchor me to reality. "I..," I whimper into his shoulder, testing my cracking voice before it's interrupted by a sob that wracks my body against his. Tobias's shaky hands wonder up to my hair, intertwining themselves into the disgruntled mess and pulling gently to ease my head back.

His jaw is clenched tightly, lips bleeding from where he must have bitten into them. His dark blue eyes scream the pain I had only seen once before, when he had watched me die in his last simulation. "That was... I'm so sorry Tris... I swear I had no idea," he whispers, bowing his head into my chest, an aching sob wracking his body along with mine. My fingers unwind themselves from his hair, tracing the path of his rigid jaw down to his chin where I pull his eyes back to mine. He reaches up absentmindedly and wipes away the traces of tears from my face.

"You couldn't have known... No one could have. We had to do this," I whisper, inching my lips closer to his. To my surprise, the muscles under my fingers tighten as he pulls away from me to study me, his head shaking in disbelief at what just shook us. "I've.. I've never loved, until I met you. I didn't know there could be... More. More out there other than just you and me. That we could grow together and I could have even more of you, more of us. Those kids... They were ours weren't they?"

A sigh I didn't know I had been holding floods from my lips, shaking me involuntarily. I nod with my teeth biting deep into my lip to keep tears from streaming. "I think so. I actually.. I thought.. I mean at the beginning, when the little girl came running to me, I thought your fear was of... Of having a future with me," I murmur, training my eyes down at his fingers fiddling with mine, abruptly stopping like a switch turned off the moment the words tumbled out of my mouth.

Tobias shakes with weak laughter, pulling me tightly into his chest as he sits up from the chair, swinging me up into his arms as he walks to the door. "You're completely insane, you do know that right?" he mumbles, his lips pressing into my forehead. The touch of his lips on my skin floods my body with the warmth that had seemed forever lost the moment we had woken from the simulation. I'm with Tobias right now, the simulation was just that, a simulation. Something so unreal that the fact that our minds could contort our love into something so heart breaking, shows that it could never happen. I was with Tobias. We don't have children, and even if we do some day, they will be with Tobias and I. They will be safe.

"You know Eaton," I say, letting the reality of our relationship course through me, lacing my voice with hints of a smile. We're still so young, hardly had a chance to live the life in the world that now wants us dead. "Mhm," he murmurs, smiling down at me nestled in his arms. "We don't have to be anywhere for a while..." I coo as flirtatiously as I can manage after whT had just happened, playfully running my finger down his chest, feeling each muscle tense and relax as I do. "Tris... We're drained. You're insane. No. Let's go get some breakfast," he scoffs, rolling his eyes at my flirtatious attempt to forget what we just went through.

Well, at least I tried.

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**Alright my awesome readers, so I absolutely love that you guys are taking a personal interest in me, asking for my phone number, email address, Instagram, Facebook... I would like to keep more personal things like that private for now, but I was like "how can I talk with you guys?" And then it dawned on me: snapchat! I'm a religious snap chatter, so I created an account for you guys to snap me on: itsalreadybeend so go ahead, add me, I'll try to get lots of stories of my life and cat and such, because you guys are sweet enough to ask. I'll also be putting previews of chapters up, maybe some bits of my crazy journal and be able to talk to you guys when I'm not able to write and boyfriend ends up updating for .**

**Gimme some lovin, because I'm lovin you! Let me know what you think in a review. (Does that rhyme? Kinda? Look at me, I'm Dr. Fucking Seuss.)**

**You guys are seriously the best, I don't know where I would be without you!**

**Xoxo- D**


	49. Chapter 49

**Hey there best friends! first of let me thank you guys for the really sweet reviews, I'm still in the hospital and there are so many times when it's just me alone in a dark room waiting to hear how messed up I am, but when I can pull up is site and read some of the things you guys say... You make me feel like a superhero, and it pains me to tell you guys I'm not. Secondly, how have you guys been liking snapchat? If you didn't read my last blurb, I started an account just for my readers to reach me at: itsalreadybeend I try to put new "my story"s up fairly often, and I promise I open all your snap chats, I'm sorry if I can't get back to you though. There are a lot of you guys! **

**Also special thanks to my editor thebigdog2895.**

***massive hug***

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(Tobias)

Sparse clusters of people litter the dinning hall, scattered voices trailing off into distant conversation, muffled by the clatter of knives and forks against plates. "I'm so tired," Tris moans through a mouthful of eggs, slamming her forehead against the table. "You're simply too beautiful you must let me paint you," I tease, pulling her hair out of the heaped pile of bacon, eggs, and toast on her plate and giving it a gentle tug. The dinning hall door slams against the wall, ringing through the hall and silencing the clinking of cutlery and uninterested morning conversations.

The room's noise is quickly replaced with the clanking metal of the chains on Eric's heavy boots stomping arrogantly against the stone floor. People instantly lose interest and go back to their whooping conversations about violence and danger. Reckless. Movement across the table catches the corner of my eye, the scraping of the cool metal bench she sits on against the stone, nails on a chalk board, pulling my eyes back to Tris. I try to light the chilling flames behind my eyes, condescendingly warning her of the dangers that lurk, as I did when we first met, only to make her feel the pain she needs to to stay where she is. But she's too strong.

Her slight figure dashes over the table, slithering into the little space beside me, her eyes averted from mine. The thin veil of air between us hums with electricity, pulsating with a comforting tense warmth that washes through my veins the moment she's near me. "It's been long enough," I growl under my voice, the smell of burning rubber and tobacco hitting us like a brick wall while a pair of claw like hands wrap around our shoulders. "Well look here!" Eric cackles at the sight of us. Each vertebrae in my spine seems to pull taller, a metal rod sliding into my back, my arm pulling close to my side as they wind up to the coming punch.

But Tris beats me to it. "Can I fucking help you?" she growls at him, pushing the bench we sit on back as she stands, slyly reaching out and winding her fingers around my tensed arm. The muscles in my arm instantly begin to relax into her, but every single nerve on my body is on edge, bracing myself for what's to come. She shifts her feet on the bench, towering a foot above his eye level, cocking a hip to the side and crossing he arms over her chest. Threatening him. Great, just great. Eric cocks his head and furrows his brows, obviously he hadn't been expecting Tris to be so forward all of a sudden. But then again, neither had I.

He quickly regains himself, shaking his shoulders and dousing us with another wave of his cheep cologne mixed with his sweat. His lips purse, the skin around his piercings pulling into a tight hole, contorting his face into some demonic gargoyle of everything that chills your spine. "Looks like someone's ickle nap time was skipped today," he sing songs in a baby voice drooling with a condescending spite, as his hand reaches up to ruffle through her hair like you would a little kid's. Bad move. B.A.D M.O.V.E.

Tris's skin seems to ripple with rage, her teeth piercing through her bottom lip as she recoils like a snake from his poisonous graze. "Are you seriously touching me?" she whispers between disbelieving little laughs, shaking her head at the pure futility of his efforts. The muscles in her back coil into springs so tight they have no other option than to collapse or explode, but her jaw just hangs in disbelief. "Are you seriously so stupid to do this in a public place?" she spits, her whispering tone seems to boom through the cavernous hall, echoing around us, but very few heads turn.

Eric just rolls his eyes, the leather covering his arms squeaking as he crosses them. "Whatever Stiff. I just wanted to let you know that the-" but before he can finish his coward excuse for annoying us, the wall that Tris had built so strong to keep me from breaking through was rendered to a pile of rubble by no other than herself. "Are you kidding me? You come up to me, try to fucking ATTACK me, then when I beat your sorry little excuse for an ass senseless, you act like nothing happened?" Tris growls, her roar echoing through the hall turning heads and dropping forks to the floor.

The reddening skin under Eric's greasy hair seems to pulse with loathing and embarrassment, as he looks around at the questioning faces of the rest of the dauntless members who had gathered "He tried to beat up a chick?" "She beat him?!" Whispers start to surround us, whirlwinding us in the safety net of our factions hatred towards the cowering excuse of a human being in front of us.

"Shut up Stiff you do-" Eric starts but his voice is quickly replaced by the deathly silence that enfolds the ringing of Tris's fist against his jaw, a ribbon of blood dribbling from his gaping mouth. "Don't you ever call me a Stiff again. You don't have a clue what bravery is you ass" I quickly stand and pull Tris down from the bench, our movements echoing around us as the silence pushes the air tight against our skin, anticipation looming. I drag her stiff huffing body away from him, his seething voice calling after us: "Finally someone sees that you can't protect yourself! Thanks for helping me out Four!" I drop my arm from around Tris, practically tossing her to the ground as I do, just staring at the doors ahead of us.

"The only way I'm helping you is by making sure she doesn't kick your ass again" I call out, slamming the door behind me, letting the hollow silence of the empty corridor engulf me. Not waiting to see if she follows me.


	50. Chapter 50

**Hi guys! Sorry this is a bit later than usual, no,fall I try to update at midnight but last night we decided on a family nap around 7 and we didn't wake up until now. how have you guys been liking the story? I've only been getting a few review here are there so I'm wondering if it's because maybe because you guys are just busy (ew, school *pukes*) or if you aren't enjoying it as much? If there's something you don't like LET ME KNOW! Although I try to write because I love it I need the motivation of knowing people want to read it! Just a warning for the younger readers, next chapter is a lemon. alright, I have. Few more things to blabber on about but I'll meet you at the bottom. Huge hankis to my editor thebigdog2895.**

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(Tris)

The words leave my lips even before the door behind me has a chance to slam shut. "Do you mind telling me what the hell that was?" I shout, slamming my keys onto the little table by the door, knocking it over as I do. Tobias just ignores me, beating the punching bag that hangs from the ceiling of our bedroom, each thunk of his fist against the stretched fabric throws a wave of his sweat and musky scent over me, his naked chest heaving silently. The bag flinches against each thrust of his blood speckled taped hand, wavering lightly against my skin. "Are you seriously going to just pretend that I'm not here?" I shout, another fist flying into the bag, it's chain rattling from the power behind each hit. His eyes burn holes straight ahead, watching each of his fists hit the bag in a soothing rhythm, chewing his bottom lip.

Something snaps inside of me, moving my feet before my mind can catch up to them. All of a sudden, I'm the same little girl in initiation, the mix of rusted metal and blood filling my nostrils, the held breaths of the other initiates seem to echo against the training room's walls as I trade places with Al. But this time I'm not standing against a target. This time it isn't knives being hurled at my head. This time it isn't Four. His rhythm doesn't break, the chain suspending the bag behind me rattles uncontrollably as his fist thunders against the bag, grazing the skin of my cheek as it does. He doesn't withdraw it, the swinging bag held in place by his hand pressing against it, trapping me between him and the punching bag.

"I would move if I were you," he murmurs, his piercing eyes staring right through me, taking his hand back again, the skin stretched taught and white over the bones in his tight fist, ready to swing again. "What the hell was that back there?" I say, crossing my arms over my chest, my feet planted in front of the swinging bag. He shrugs, ignoring my question, his fist sailing right past me, narrowly missing shattering my jaw, as the rhythm picks back up, punch after punch painting the plastic with his blood and sweat.

A bead of sweat pools in the hollow between his collar bones, expanding with each laboured breath. "I could ask you the same thing," he huffs, his fists still hammering on either side of my face, the sound of splitting tape finally making him stop to examine his split hand. "I'm sorry. Let me get this straight," I spit, following him into the bathroom, my steps quaking with rage. "You're mad at me because I yelled at Eric?" I scoff, nearly drowned out by the rushing water from the tap, swirling pink in the basin from ribbons of blood flowing from his split skin. He jerks that tap closed, turning to the cabinet and grabbing the jar of healing salve from Erudite. "You're mad because I told off the asshole who tried to rape me? I'm sorry I'm some little girl _Four_, but I'm not going to just let you fight all my battles!" I shout, but before I can rant any more, he slams me against the wall holding me up to his eye level, one hand pinning my arms above my head, the other supporting my weight, looped under my legs.

"No _Beatrice_. I'm pissed because you're being stupid. The Tris I know wouldn't be recklessly writing herself a death wish," he spits, his bare chest glistening against his writhing breaths. "Oh, so it's ok to just drag me away from something because you think I'm making a bad decision? I didn't realize you were my father. Every single set of eyes out there sees me, they know I don't belong, for a while there you made me feel like you didn't believe that. Looks like all that acting was getting a bit to much for you wasn't it, " I hiss, the heat radiating off his skin distracting me, pulling my eyes into the deep sea of his.

"Don't make me feel like I need to protect you then. Don't become some mindless worshiper of fear just because that's what our world dictates. Because yeah: if you go around throwing your life around and waiting for someone to come down and hurt you, you are some powerless little girl. Bring back that girl who cried in the simulation, who felt something and fought for more than just staying alive but actually living. Bring back Tris. Prove to me you aren't some little girl," he shouts, rage cracking the whip of his words against the memories of my tear stricken skin, his eyes pleading, the deep blue lightening like they do when we walk in the sun.

His chest rises and falls, pressing against mine, pulsing heat through me. He bites his lip, suppressing another shout masked into a rage filled growl rolling from his chest. I want to scream at him. I want to shake him and tell him I'm right here. But I'm not. Is there a point where you can break so far past the point of no return, that no matter how many hands are held out to strengthen your grasp, there really is no return? I just let him stare at me, catching his breath as I take him in, the beauty of his set jaw bone when it's clenched in thought, the way his sweat trickles through the maze of his sculpted abdomen, the way his eyes trace me, filled with anger, but never hatred. Always hunger.

"I need a shower," he mumbles, the pressure of his hands wrapped around me vanishing, spilling me to the ground, as he turns on his heels and walks away. The floor under me is like ice after being so close to him, but I let him go, not ready to let him make me face myself. Not ready to fight anymore. The glass of the shower door squeaks against his trailing finger tips, freezing him in his place, his dark blue eyes crystallizing with fear momentarily.

**Why we meet again *dramatic chair spin with cat in lap*. ok so it looks like this story will be ending quite soon (ch59 or 60 I do believe...) but before I start writing the sequel, I need some name ideas! So either PM me your idea, leave it in a review or snapchat it to me ( itsalreadybeend ). I'm also going to start a new email for you guys to reach me at because ALOT of people are talking to me about some struggles in their life and I absolutely love that I can help you guys! But so many people are leaving reviews asking for other ways to contact me be auss they cant make an accoun, don't understand how to use PM ect... So hopefully that will be ready by next chapter. Im sure I had more to say, it's me after all. Boyfriend grunts hello and cat meows for food.**

**I love you guys!**


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